Hey there, leader. Welcome and welcome to the month of June. I'm so happy we are finally here. It's been an interesting first part of twenty twenty five and I'm just happy to be in this month of June. And listen, June is filled with so much fun ahead. It is filled with some playfulness. It is filled with some creativity, curiosity, some reconnections to our bodies, to our spirituality. It's a time to pivot and really reconnect to why we were called to do these leadership roles, why we were called into leadership to begin with, and what we're doing, what we're going to do with our teams, how we're going to move forward. It's just a time of almost rejuvenation, reflection, and reinvigoration. So I'm looking forward to this month and what lies ahead. I'm also very excited about opening the doors to the universal leader. The universal leader is the intersection of spirituality and leadership. It's where we integrate spiritual development and growth with Leadership Mastery. So wow, what a marriage. We are opening the doors June seventeenth. It's my party. It's my birthday on the seventeenth. And I'm opening the doors to this incredible twelve-week sanctuary for us leaders who are exhausted, who are overwhelmed, and who just need to take a pause and reconnect with our divine assignment. and our sacred responsibilities. So it's really getting back into our bodies and not only our physical bodies, but our spiritual bodies. So we're going to have a great old time and I want to invite you to the party. So head over to drdeniessimpson.com after this episode, of course, and click on the universal leader tab so you can read all the details. uh, on that invitation. It's an, it's like a party invitation. You know, when you get in the mail, you're like, Oh my gosh, this is going to be such a time. What do I wear? Oh my goodness. Here's the RSVP. Here's the registry. Cannot wait. That's what I'd like for you to feel when you read that page on my website. And if you get excited like that, then you know you belong in the universal leader. So head over there, read about it, and then enroll. And then I see you on the How exciting. Okay. So let's talk a little bit about disconnection from our bodies, by the way. So today's episode, we're going to talk about how you were trained to survive and not to lead. You were trained to survive and not lead. You weren't trained to inspire. You weren't trained to motivate. You weren't trained to be a strategic thinker and visionary. No, you were You were trained to survive like you were in boot camp. I mean, seriously, think about what I do as a leadership trainer and executive coach. I mean, this is why I do what I do is because I'm unraveling and deconditioning some leaders from really bad habits, from really bad paradigms and interesting, antiquated, outdated models of leadership. This is why I do what I do so successfully is because I have a different approach to leadership training and development. And so when you came into the leadership pipeline, Did you get formal leadership training? And who did you get it from? Perhaps it was on the job training like a lot of us had to do. We had to learn on the job. And guess what? The hiring manager or the leader that we reported to were our trainers. They're the ones telling us what to do, what not to do. And guess where they were getting their knowledge from? the culture, what they were told to do or not do. And all they were doing was passing that down to you. So then you didn't get to think for yourself because this is how we do it. We always do it this way. You can't come here and change this. No, we hired you to do it just like this. So creativity is out the window. Curiosity is out the window. Excitement is out the window. Inspiration is out the window. And you're just a shell of a human walking around calling yourself a leader. So we were trained to survive in the chaos. It's like, okay, we're in survival mode. The entire organization, this is why we're hiring you. And now we're going to train you to survive. Never mind coming here with your brilliance, with your authenticity. Let me tell you how you're going to do it. because we're all surviving here. And this is the culture. Survival mode is the culture. And what happens when you're in survival mode? You individually, physically in your body, the nervous system is jacked up. body? Your nervous system gets activated for things that may happen. Fight, blight, freeze, or fawn. Think about that for yourself. When you find yourself in interesting conversations or circumstances in the organization, let's say, for example, you're in the boardroom and someone says something about your competence and you, through your nervous system, you take it as a threat. Ooh, you're threatening my authority. You're threatening my position now because you're questioning my judgment. You're questioning my brilliance. So how do you react? Do you fight? Do you flee? Do you freeze or do you fawn? And fond, by the way, is just bowing down like Bambi saying, okay, whatever you say, you're right. That's what fond means. And that's the fourth latest development in this discipline. And so you do one of four things. And sometimes we cycle through them, by the way, all within one context. How about in your intimate relationships, right? You get into an argument and what do you do? You freeze. or you fawn, or you fight it out, or you flee, right? It depends on the context and it depends on the situation. But I'm specifically talking about in the organization, in the workforce, because I want for you to identify your patterns because my patterns are different than yours. Maybe similar in some situations. Like when I'm threatened in any kind of way, boy, I'm ready to fight and I take off my hoops. Listen, I take those off and I'm ready to fight. That's in my nature. So I have to remember to back up just a moment. And it's not freezing. It's just taking a pause before I say something I'm going to regret because I know my pattern so well, because I know I'm a fighter, right? How about for you? What if you're a newer leader? What if you were just promoted and you found yourself in a very uncomfortable situation and you were shocked? The nervous system got activated and perhaps you fawned because you couldn't process this fast enough. So your go-to is to fawn in a situation like this, right? Or maybe you froze. Because your brain couldn't catch up with your nervous system and you just realized, oh my, I was just insulted. Oh my, I was just offended. Oh, ah, ee, don't know what to do. And you freeze. So pay attention to your patterns. So when we're taught to survive because we're in a survival mode, I mean, let's be real. Most of our organizations are in survival mode. they're not in the business of thriving. They're not in the business of leading with inspiration and motivation and visionary thinking. No, they're in survival mode for many reasons, right? There's so many variables right now impacting our organizations from tariffs, from, you know, political administration, administrative laws and policies and other things and other things. right? The economic climate, even our workforce, our apathetic workforce right now, there's a lot of interesting things that are contributing to why the organization is in survival mode. Think about that for yours. And then think about how you're training your leaders today. If you're leading them and training them through this energy of surviving, well, best believe they won't come to the organization with the creativity, the curiosity, with the brilliance that you thought you were hiring them to do or to demonstrate. That's what's interesting about this. It's a perpetual vicious cycle that we see in leadership training and development. It's like, oh, this is why you're hiring me, the leadership trainer, to help develop what your culture, what your organization has messed up on. So now I'm coming in to clean up that mess and to help you all move forward. This is what I used to do as a consultant. This is what I used to do as an organizational behavioral consultant. It's clean up the mess that former leaders have left because that's the culture they live in. So the culture is survival mode and you were trained to survive. We're trained to manage chaos, to absorb pain, and to survive office politics. That's what we were trained to do. We weren't trained to inspire. We weren't trained to endure, to educate, to be these visionary thinkers. I mean, it's an interesting time that we're living in right now, that we're leading in right now. And so think about for yourself. Are you leading through this lens of surviving instead of thriving? Because if you are trying to stay alive, right? And what's interesting about the nervous system is that it's always surveying a threat. It's always looking for a threat, a threat to your physical body, a threat to your ego, a threat to your livelihood. It's always looking for a possible threat. And if we're being trained to survive, that's what your nervous system is doing. And maybe you haven't realized it yet. And maybe this is the episode for you to take a moment and pause and ask yourself, am I leading through survival mode? Is this the energy I'm bringing to my team and to the organization every day? Or am I showing up thriving and excited and showing them my brilliance and my full power and competence? And I'm also creating other incredible leaders behind me because I want for them to thrive, not just survive here, but to thrive in this industry. What is your energy saying and what are you feeling right now in this moment? How are you showing up every day in this energetic body? Are you surviving or are you thriving? So a lot of my leadership clients come to me because they have reached a point of no return. And they've realized they've taken on too much stress. Their bodies are now reacting in a very interesting way. And a lot of them are ready to look at a different way of leading. And that's really something that I've always done. identify those gaps and then help them fill those gaps and then help them move in the direction that they want. And so for you right now, those of you who are listening or watching, ask yourself, have I hit that moment yet? Have I hit the moment of no return? This is the point of no return. I cannot keep returning to how I've been leading. I cannot keep returning to those stressful habits. I cannot keep returning to this chaos. I cannot keep returning to this reactionary way of leading. I want to be proactive, you see. I want to be able to look into the future and actually be present now in the moment, but then also strategically plan with a visionary perspective into the future. I want to be here, embodied, fully present. knowing why I was called to do this, knowing why I'm here in this organization, and understanding that I have a sacred responsibility to move this collective forward. So you get to decide for yourself, have I reached a point of no return? Is there a better way to lead? Is there a different way to lead? And how can I, instead of surviving day to day, How do I at least change the degree, right? Maybe it's one degree difference. Maybe it's just a tiny fine tuning of your energy into the direction of thriving. What a concept, what an incredible idea that is. And so, and how do you do that? Well, we start with awareness, right? We start with asking ourselves these questions and practicing self-honesty. Am I at the point of no return? Because here are my patterns. Anytime I'm in a very interesting environment or circumstance, this is how I'm activated. I freeze or I fight or I flee or I fawn. And so be on to your patterns. This is part of self-awareness, self-honesty. And then ask yourself, okay, have I reached the point of no return? Because I don't want to do it this way anymore. I want to do it this way. I want to do it in a thriving way. I want to show up every day to the office and in front of my team with so much energy and excitement. You know, I actually want to enjoy coming to work again. I want to be able to show my team that they too can be excited to be here. We've gone through some really harsh times. There's been some really difficult circumstances here. And I think it's time that I leave all that behind and just change my perspective and maybe look at this differently. And maybe what Denise is saying that we were trained to survive is true. I wasn't trained to lead. I was trained to manage chaos, to absorb all this pain, to feel this burnout and overwhelm. I was trained to survive the politics. I was trained to maneuver, negotiate, manipulate, coerce my way up to the top. And wow, maybe I've reached a point of no return. I'm done. So take this opportunity to ask yourself these questions and to practice self-honesty here. Because this is why I'm in this business. I'm in this business of leadership training and development because I know the gaps and I know the voids in our organizations and in particular corporate leadership training and development. So ask yourself these questions before moving into this next chapter of your leadership practice. And I guarantee you, if you just take this moment and practice the self-awareness and self-honesty, and you just turn the dial slightly, I promise you, you're going to find a different station. You're going to hear different music. You're going to tune in. You're going to know in what direction you need to go in. You're going to know what feels good. You're going to know what you need to change, what you need to drop, what you need to pick up, what you need to embody. That's the beauty of this work. We're conscious leaders around here. We're contemplative leaders. This is the contemplative leadership style that we are practicing today. That's what I've been doing for so many years. And this is what I'm inviting you to do for yourself. It's to contemplate, to reflect, to be in stillness with yourself and to remember why you were called into this leadership position. And again, the sacred responsibilities that come with this knowledge, pretty important. So you are worth doing this work. You are worth it. You are worthy of feeling purposeful, enlightened, curious, brilliant, empowered. You are worthy of feeling like you are thriving in your career instead of merely surviving. So take this moment and then reach out and let me know what your thoughts are, what your insights are, and tell me how you're thriving in leadership. Maybe you're going to drop something. Maybe you've identified a pattern that you want to change. Maybe you're just tuning the stations ever so slightly because you're looking for that soft jazz coming through the airwaves. Maybe you're just done with that chaotic static, you know, noise that you've been listening to and maybe it's time to tune in to a love song maybe. I don't know. What are you listening to these days and what's bringing you to life, right? That's the idea is what's bringing you to life is what you need to seek and what's not serving you needs to stay there behind. All right, leader. You are worthy of this work. So is your workforce. They deserve a great leader like you. All right. I'm wishing you a fantastic day ahead. Reach out over on Instagram or on LinkedIn and DM me. Say hi. Would love to hear from you. All right. Take very good care.
