Hey there, leader. Welcome back. What an honor to serve you this week. I am your host, Denise Simpson. For those of you who are new, it is an obsession of mine to serve our leaders who are doing the hard work of being tapped in, tuned in, and turned on every single day. So we are here to serve you. By the way, there are I'm not doing this newsletter article anymore. It's actually still up over on LinkedIn. Just take a look at my bio and you'll see the two newsletters that I offer. One is current. It's called The Universal Leader and one that has been discontinued. It's called Serve the Leader. Serve the Leader, about a thousand of you jumped on that newsletter because you were so excited to finally find someone who obsessed over you as much as you obsessed over leadership. And it was such an honor to do that newsletter article together. every single week to support you, the leader. We're not offering that newsletter anymore. We are now pivoting. I'm pivoting into this new era of leadership where we are focusing on the contemplative leader and the universal leader principles. But I bring this up because you have been my obsession since day one. I was a leader who struggled tremendously. I was a leader who was so egotistical, so narcissistic, so manipulative. I was very focused on my reputation, focused on my authority, and really put a lot of And I think coming from an environment where I felt like I had no control, I felt like I had no voice and that no one cared what I had to say, to then moving myself into this pipeline of leadership in my early twenties, actually, nineteen years old was my first manager role. And that was the manager of a bath and body work store. At nineteen. Oh, my gosh. But I say this because before doing this work, this work on self-awareness, this work on self-improvement, I was very much a leader who had interesting behaviors, behaviors of coercion, manipulation. I was passive aggressive. All the things, all the behaviors that you have identified in your leaders today that have no business in leadership. But that's who I was. And so I had to do a lot of the unraveling. I had to do the therapy to resolve a lot of my childhood issues and traumas. I had to do the counseling. I had to do the coaching. I had to go into interesting spaces that had me pull up a mirror to be able to reflect back all of my gaps and all of my flaws and all the reasons why I should not be a leader. And I had to come to term with all of those things. And I had to make peace with all of those things. And I had to unravel so that I can rebuild and to evolve from hundreds of versions of myself. And I'm here today obsessed over you because no one obsessed over me. I learned the hard way. I learned the hard way. I learned about abuse of power. I learned about manipulation. I learned so many interesting things on this journey of leadership, and I have done the work. But no one took me aside and said, hey, you know, that's not right. You need to treat your team better. You need to treat your people differently. You can't keep doing this. You're hurting others. This is not about you. It is about us. It is a we and not I. And so I bring this up because I Today's conversation is counterintuitive to what you have heard out there in leadership. And we're going to talk about why you can't serve the we without honoring the I. You can't serve the we without honoring the I. Now, I'm not saying I versus we. No, I'm saying I and we. It's important that we look at these two components, these two variables in leadership, the I, I, the leader, you, the leader, and them, the team, the department, the organization, your workforce. It's not I versus we, which is what I had experienced before. through abusing my power, abusing my authority. It was all about me, I, the selfish I, and not the I that honors her divine assignment, who honors her sacred responsibility, her connection to a higher and greater power. So when I talk about the I, that's what I'm talking. I'm not talking about the egotistical, narcissistic leaders out there, which I know personally because I was once that kind of leader. But I'm able to talk to you about this because of what I have discovered, how I have evolved, how I have moved forward. how I'm now spending my life and the rest of it, God willing, serving you, obsessing over you. Because nobody, nobody is here to save you. I know it sounds really, really interesting. What do you mean no one's here to save? No one's here to save you. We're counting on you, leader, to help us move the collective. You have to have done all of this work, the self-awareness work, the self-improvement work. That's what we're doing every single week together, aren't we? Because we're looking at you. We're looking to you as the model of excellence. So back to the I and we. Let's focus on you for just a moment. And then we're going to tie this into how it's deeply connected to the we, to our people, to our collective, to our group that we serve. So the contemplative leader... is highly connected to their divine assignment. There was an assignment put on you. Just look back. Find those moments. They may be clouded right now, but if you go back, you can find those moments. Where you can remember, yeah, I had such a joyous, delightful time entering into the pipeline of leadership, but then things changed. People change. I change. Now I'm not fulfilled. Now I am like what Denise has described. Maybe abusing her power right now. Maybe you're burnt out. Maybe you're overwhelmed right now. So go back in time to the moment or moments where you said yes. You raised your hand as high as you could and said, I'm there. Get me there. You had no idea what you were about to enter. You had no idea what you were saying yes to, but you did because you had that pull. You said, yes, get me in there. Let's go. I can help change the collective. I can help us evolve. I can help us move forward if we have to. So go back to those moments. where you knew this is different, this is interesting, I want this. Those are the moments that I want for you to remember and reclaim that power and reclaim your divine assignment. So we contemplative leaders, we do that often, as often as we need to. We reconnect to that divine assignment. Because we know that with a divine assignment, we have sacred responsibilities. The sacred responsibilities. My goodness. If you're a parent, then you have sacred responsibilities, huh? Leadership. Not that you are a parent and, you know, your employees are your children. No, they're your peers. So in that context, it's different, but still the same in that you have a sacred responsibility to choose wisely for them, to do the work on yourself first so that you can bring the team together, so that you can see them as their own individual divine assigned employees, right? So you've got to do the work first, the I, I. So you can't serve the we first. without honoring the I. So you come first and I know some of you are going, that's weird. Every single leadership style that I've learned is about them. It's about the team. Oh my gosh, Denise, like, are you kidding you? I, that's too selfish. I didn't get into leadership to be so, no, hear me out. Just suspend your beliefs for just a moment for me, especially while we're on this podcast episode together. I want for you to suspend what you think you know about leadership. Just do that for me. Because I want to remind you that if you don't take care of you, the vessel, first and foremost, then you are of no use to the others. You are of no use to your people, to your children, to your families, to your communities, to your constituents. We have seen so many leaders out here abusing their authority, abusing their power, abusing Because they have not done the work of honoring themselves first. They have not done the work of contemplative leadership style. They have not done the work implementing, embodying the universal leader principles yet. And they will because this is an emerging leadership style. That will change the way we lead our people forever. I am convicted. I know this is true because I have done the work and I'm now in this position to be able to say, this is what we need as a collective and this is how we're going to move forward. We have to focus on the I first so that we can serve the we. We, you, the team, the workforce, the collective. So pause for a moment. How can this be a win-win, a win for me as the leader and a win for you as my team? A win-win so we're all winning together. So it's not I versus we, it's I and we. And we win-win. There's no winner and a loser. No, it's win-win. We're all winners here. We're all here to fulfill a very specific assignment individually. And when we acknowledge that for ourselves, when we truly believe that, and when we truly embody that knowing, then we are able to see outside of ourselves, we're able to see them individually with their own unique divine assignments. And collectively, they make up a team. And each one, however, has unique gifts, talents, blessings. These are individuals that are on your team right now who have very unique skills and attributes that are assigned to them. So whether you're a leader or follower or leader, leader, follower, follower, it does not matter the titles. What matters is that you are able to see what you can see for yourself, you can see in others. This is how we do the work first. This is why it's important that we do the work first for ourselves so that we are able to then see them individually as unique, divinely assigned employees who happen to make up a collective, who happen to make up a team. So we must focus on the I, honor the I first and foremost, so that we can serve the we. So that newsletter I was just mentioning over on LinkedIn that we used to do called Serve the Leader. Serve the Leader. I have been serving leaders for a very long time. And like I said, I have obsessed over your needs, your gaps, your desires, your flaws, but I've also obsessed over your gifts, your blessings, your talents, everything that makes you unique. And as I serve you today and every week through this podcast, I want for you to remember that you come first. We take care of the leader first. And it's not selfishness. It's not being a narcissist. It's because we have to take care of you, the vessel. And the vessel is What does the vessel contain? It contains your emotional body, your physical body most definitely, your spiritual body, your mental body, all the bodies, all in one vessel called you. So we focus on you. And it looks like many things. I did an episode recently on rituals and what contemplative leaders do. So head back to maybe one or two episodes ago so that you can watch that or rewatch it or re-listen to it so that you can learn specific rituals. Because I have my specific rituals, you have yours. And so as I was talking to a client of mine who we happened to be ending our five-year contract, and I asked her to come to our Zoom call with some final thoughts and insights and things she just wanted to share with me as we said our goodbyes. And she said, you know, when I first started working with you, I came to you with this perspective of the glass is half empty, right? I came to you with this negative bias. I had all these doubts. I was leading in scarcity. I was leading out of fear. I had no consideration of my team because I was only focused on the negative. I was focused on the cup being half empty. And then we started to work together. And throughout the years, my perspective went from the cup is half empty to the cup is half full. And I said, oh, how fun. So it turned to a half full moment. She said, oh, it turned into half full moments where I was able to see the good in myself. I was able to see that even though I was an imperfect leader, I still cared deeply about my role and that I wanted to do good for others. And that ultimately I came into leadership because personally, I was assigned to something greater. And whether it's here in tech or whether I was in higher education, it didn't matter where I was put. But I knew I was here to answer this very specific call to serve others. And she said, I learned to see myself, my team, through the lens of a half full cup. And she said, now that we're ending our relationship after so many years, I have a different perspective. And I said, oh, do tell. What do you mean you have a different perspective now? She said, yeah, I see the cup is refillable. I don't see it as half empty anymore. I don't see it as half full anymore. I just see a cup that is refillable because there'll be mornings and moments of crisis and chaos where I will inevitably see the cup half empty. And there will be moments in joy, in awe, and in delight where I'm going to see the cup half full. But I will always, always remember that I can rise to a different energy, to a different perspective. And that is the cup is refillable. And I said, well, let's talk about the cup. Tell me about that vessel. Tell me about that cup. What are you filling that cup with? Tell me about the quality of the content in the cup. Never mind the quantity of the cup. Tell me about the quality of the content in the cup because you are the vessel. You are the vessel and we have to protect the vessel. You are the primary asset. We have to protect the cup, the vessel, you. And she said, whoa. Well, let's talk then about what's in the cup. We talked about her future. We talked about her compassion. We talked about her love for her people, for her industry, how she is so looking forward to innovating, how she's so looking forward to doing other things in this industry. She is filling up her cup with the beliefs, the values, the compassion that is necessary to make an impact in her lifetime. the legacy that she is creating intentionally because now her perspective is the cup is refillable. Huh? And now the input, the inputs, what she's putting into her mind, into her spiritual body, into her emotional body, into her physical body is very different moving forward because she wants to protect the vessel. She wants to maintain the integrity of the cup. She wants to make sure it doesn't fall and slip and breaks into a thousand pieces. She wants to protect the vessel. And contemplative leaders get to do that every day. And it's not in the, uh-oh, yikes, fearful, oh my gosh, we can't break the cup. No. It's, wow, the cup's refillable. What are we going to fill it up with today? Is it going to be hot, warm cocoa? Is it going to be a hot cup of coffee? Is it going to be some electrolytes? Is it going to be some bone broth? I don't know. What's going to be in the cup? What do we choose to put in the cup? Do we choose to put more negativity in that cup? More toxicity? More abuse of power? More thoughts about yourself being toxic? Better than, greater than? Are you going to put your hierarchy in there as well? Are you going to put your title in there? Are you going to choose to put other things in the cup? Because the cup's refillable. What are we going to fill it up with? Tell me the quality of the content, not the quantity. So that was a wonderful perspective that she shared with me. And I share this with you because it is the input, the inputs. what you're putting in to yourself, to all those bodies, again, spiritual body, emotional body, physical body, mental body, all the bodies in the vessel, the inputs you put in the vessel will determine the output, will determine the outputs of your team members, of your departments. The inputs will determine the outputs. You know, I've always told my clients this, tell me, or I better said, show me the results that you've created and I will tell you the quality of your thoughts. So the inputs determine the outputs, the results. And so we do this, again, not for selfish reasons, but because we are here with sacred responsibilities to serve the collective. So it's I and we, not I versus we. We have to care for these two components in leadership, the I, me, leader, you, individual, leader, and the we. Who are we serving? Are we showing up for them? Are we protecting them? Are we providing a safe environment for them? Are we helping them thrive in their roles? If they're spending a third of their lives in their careers, What are we doing? Take some responsibility. This is the sacred part of the responsibilities that we have as leaders. We don't just show up to the office and pull our weight and delegate and make demands. We show up intentionally because we've done the work on ourselves, because we've honored the I, and now we're ready to serve the we. It's I and we, not I versus we. So it's your turn, leader. Put some of this information into practice. What would it look like for you, the vessel? Well, how will you choose to see your role? What do you decide to do? determine, right? What do you decide on the quality of the content you're putting into that cup? This is part of the I. This is part of honoring ourselves. And then how are we showing up for the we, for the collective? And are we providing all that they need to thrive in their roles? So we can see ourselves as having these divine assignments. Then you can see they each individually have their own divine assignments and they now serve as a collective to support your mission, to support your vision, to support your strategic plan, your objectives, your goals. Treat them like they are divinely assigned because they are. But you'll have to do the work first to then be able to see them individually. And this is part of the sacred responsibilities that we have as leaders. So do the work with me. I'm still doing the work. I will continue to do this work. Because this fulfills me because I know I have a great impact to make. I know that my words have power. I know that my presence has power. I know that all I have to do is show up and initiate and excite my employees, my team members, and they are ready to move mountains for us. I love leadership. I love everything about these responsibilities. And I take my role very seriously. But I've shifted my perspective. And I'm hoping you are along for the ride with me because the contemplative leader, it requires a lot of contemplation. but not in a narcissistic way, but in a self-awareness way, in a way that opens you up to possibilities, to things you had never seen before or could never see before because you didn't have the aperture wide enough. You didn't have it open wide enough. But contemplative leadership style allows us to do that. What a wonderful time to serve leaders out here. It is an incredible time. And I'm honored that you choose to press play, that you choose to watch, that you choose to put this work into practice for yourself. Because this is all an experiment, you see. Leadership is all an experiment. Leadership is not about being stagnant. Yes, you can be still. Stillness is a strategy. That is part of contemplation. The leadership is about a dynamic field of energy and you are it. And you are it. This is not static work. You are the dynamic field of energy. It is surrounding you. And so we are moving quickly. Times are moving so fast. So much is required of you right now. And contemplative leadership style gives us the tools to do that. Thank you so much for your time today, leader. Reach out anytime over on Instagram or LinkedIn. I met Dr. Denise Simpson and I am looking forward to hearing how this is working in your leadership practice. So I'm wishing you a great rest of your day. Remember that cup is refillable. I'm about to go do that myself, actually. So I'll see you on our next podcast episode. Take very good care. Bye for now.
