Wow. We made it. It's twenty twenty six. We made it. I am excited that we're starting off very strong. After all, it's the year of the fire horse. whoa, okay, let's go. If you're into Chinese astrology, that makes sense to you. And if not, go look it up. You'll see what this means. And whoa, the momentum is strong. Just think of a stallion, my friend. Just think of a wild horse out there. Listen, there's nothing stopping you from right now. The energy is strong. The energy should be pulling you forward. Ooh, those desires, those desires are strong. Don't deny them. Don't deny yourself these desires. They're coming to you for a reason. Maybe it was the contrast that you experienced in You are feeling these desires. Listen, this is why we have new year resolutions, but I'm not here to offer resolutions. I'm not, I'm not, I don't do those things. Listen, I just go with the impulse. If there is something in my intuition that's calling me to do something different, let's go. If there's something in my body that's saying, Ooh, we got to shift that because that's not working out right now, Denise, let's go. if i am so interested in something that i haven't experienced before i go oh let's get curious let's go that way see that's what desire is supposed to do for you it's supposed to pull you forward with so many of us and i've talked about this before on a past episode that we suppress those desires What is, why? Why do we do that? Is it because our mothers told us that we couldn't want more? Listen, growing up, it was like, you want to do what? Why are you so different? You have no right to be different than the rest of us. What do you mean you want more? What do you mean you want to break that cycle of violence? What do you mean you want to break that cycle of addiction? Why are you so special? Why do you want more? Why do you want better? I don't know if it's like that for you in your culture, in your society, or in your immediate environment, but that was for me. It was any time that I asked for more or wanted more, there were questions. What do you mean? How is that going to benefit you? Because I don't see that benefiting you. What do you mean you want to go do this? What do you mean you want to go do that? What? It was a constant reminder. And it was a constant reminder that I had to be humble for what I had. I had to be humble and I had to just, you know, pay my respect to my elders and, you know, do what they said for me to do. Yeah. But it wasn't until I left that environment that I realized, oh, we want to keep the crab in the bucket. Oh, you know, the crabs in the bucket theory. Well, it's more than a theory. There is some research that supports that where, you know, the one crab wants to escape. Oh, she wants more. She can see the light at the end of the tunnel. She's like, I know I'm running. I'm running. I'm running. But the rest of the crabs are like, the hell you're running out of here. Let's bring her back down to earth. Let's bring her back down with the rest of us. And so a lot of us learned in our youth that desires meant that we were selfish, that desires meant that we were greedy or that we didn't appreciate what we already had. Oh, no, it's very appreciative. And also that contrast, the contrast that we experienced, or at least that I experienced, I'm like, oh, don't want to feel that again. Or, oh, don't want to experience that. I don't want to go through what my parents went through. No, no, no. So I was conscious moving forward in what I wanted to create. And this is how the desires... were formed. So pay attention to your desires, especially because we're moving into this new year. The momentum is here. The excitement is here. Listen, I'm excited. I'm wearing red today, red lip. Oh my gosh. I never wear a red lip, but we're doing it. We're doing it. And I want to show you it's the color of desire after all. And listen, I have some great desires for twenty twenty six. Listen, I don't know if I'm going to accomplish any of these things, but listen, I am excited about, and curious to experience those, those desires. I'm not going to suppress them. I'm not going to hold myself back. There is no need to do that. Listen, if you are thinking, well, I've got the kids and I, you know, I'm raising these kids and, you know, it's all about them right now. I cannot put my desires, you know, forward. I'm going to have to just keep going. tempering them down. I'm going to have to keep hiding them. No one can know that this is what I want. Listen, what are we doing to ourselves? You're showing your children that desires are bad. You're showing your children what your parents showed you when you were a child, right? You're too greedy. You're too selfish. Oh my gosh, put everybody else before you. Who do you think you are? All of those things that we were taught as little children, right? And now we have children and we're showing them the same behavior. So listen, I'm going to challenge you, contemplative, to... Bring them to light. Listen, some desires just cannot be hidden. Some desires are calling your name right now. They're waking you up at three in the morning, my friend. These desires need to see the light of day. They just want for you to acknowledge that they're in your body. They just want for you to acknowledge that they are living in your spirit right now. And just like I've always said about desires, desires are little hints. They're glimmers of what the future is calling you into. And because you were open enough for at least thirty seconds to feel that desire, you were open to receive that insight. And I believe it's your future going, hey, I have something exciting for you and let's give this some airtime. Let's just, you know, get creative. Let's, let's have a little moment to see what this could look like because I'm, I'm coming to you from the future and I'm showing you the possibility. So, you know, why don't we just take a few minutes so that we can explore what that looks like or what that could look like for you. Listen, I have lots of desires. I mean, I come up with something at least once a week. But here's what's interesting. I am open to receiving those insights, those future highlights that are pulling me into the future. I am so open to receiving that in my mind, in my body, in my spirit. And guess what? If they feel good, which most desires should feel, when it feels good in my body, I'm like, let's freaking go. How can I make this happen? Let's have some fun exploring how to get there. So again, I've talked about desires before, but I just want to remind you that for these desires to come out and play. So the challenge I have for you, or maybe it's not a challenge, activity. The activity I have for you is take a moment, take about ten minutes today, have yourself a cup of tea. Listen, I have myself a cup of tea at two in the afternoon. You want to know what I'm doing at two in the afternoon every day? I'm having a cup of tea. And it's a whole ritual, my friend. It's like a ceremony. It is something that is just sacred for me. And it's when I take a moment to contemplate. I get that cup of tea. I steep the tea. I add a little bit of creamer in there. I add a little bit of stevia in there just to sweeten it up just a little bit. And then I go and sit in a corner in my favorite chair. And I sit and I contemplate. And it's just, you know, it could be contemplating the morning. It could be reflecting on what I'm doing the rest of the afternoon. It could be, you know, contemplating or pondering a conversation with a client of mine or in preparation for a client call that I'm about to have, or if I'm about to go into a writing session, you know, I take a few minutes for myself and I just check into my body and I check in with my mind and my spirit. so that all mind, body, spirit are in alignment with each other. Because the mind, ooh, the mind, one of your biggest enemies. Your mind is, for me at least, it is my biggest enemy. It's not anybody outside of me. At this point in my life and everything that I've seen and experienced in leadership, the enemy is not outside of me. I was telling a client this last week. I said to her... Nobody outside of me can ever treat me as bad as I treat myself. It is something that I have been challenged with. It is something that I have continuously worked on. My mind is one of my biggest enemies. And if the mind is not on board, the body sure the hell won't be on board and my spirit is crushed. So I always have to focus first on the mind and what I've been doing lately, especially as I've been contemplating and, you know, putting things to bed, so to speak, that happened in twenty twenty five and taking those learnings with me and moving them into twenty twenty six with me. Lately, I have been telling myself, I'm going to lead with my emotion today. I'm going to put those nasty thoughts that are creating these nasty emotions. I'm going to put my mind that creates these thoughts on the shelf just for like the first hour or so of the day. Because I want to choose the emotion that I want to feel today. I'm going to choose the emotion, which means if I get to intentionally, deliberately, consciously wake up, my friend, wake the fuck up. Because when you wake up and you choose the thought, or better said, when you choose the emotion first, it's like, ooh, I'm going to feel this today. And that's when the thoughts come pouring into support. those emotions. I just want for you to choose how you want to feel today. Like make feeling good your number one priority this year. Like, and I know life is going to serve us circumstances that will not feel good. illness, death, grief, you know, whatever. We're going to feel some interesting things this year because that's life. That's part, that's a contract you signed entering into these physical bodies signed. Yep. I'm signing. Okay. How many more pages do I have to sign? Okay. There's like Yep, I agree. Yep, I agree. To be here, to experience this incredible life, I'm going to experience some heartache. I'm going to experience some grief. I'm going to experience death and illness and all of those interesting things. Cool. Great. I already signed the contract. So now what tool strategies do you have so that when those circumstances arise, you are better prepared? Ooh. That's what we contemplatives do. We think things through. We ponder, we reflect, we meditate, we pray on all of these incredible things. But today I want to talk about you choosing. When you have a choice, who take it? Who take it? So many of my clients say, well, you know, I don't, I didn't know I could choose how to feel like, you know, I'm just at the effect of my team. I'm at the effect of my, you know, lousy spouse. I'm at the effect of these crazy kids. I didn't know I could choose. Yeah. Wow. The power that we were given naturally to choose. Listen, that is my When you start messing with my voice, with my choices, now I've got a problem with you. When you start telling me what to do with my mind and my body, ooh, we've got to fight. There's a fight. I'm about to battle this one out with you. And guess who's going to win? I'm going to win. See, that's the thing about lawmakers and policymakers trying to control on all sides of the aisle. Let's just be real, okay? I don't like talking about politics because I don't like to undermine you. I'll never undermine you. This is why politics and religion are off the table for us because I will never undermine your brilliance, okay? My stance is the second someone tells me I don't have a choice, okay? Ooh, now I'm going to need to know more. Why? Where did you get this information from? How is this going to serve you? Oh, this is for the greater good. Oh, but it's for your cause and not for us individual, independent thinking people out here. That's the thing. This is why I'll never undermine your brilliance because you're brilliant, my friend. You have come to all of these conclusions because of the life circumstances that you have experienced. Who the fuck am I to take that from you? No. Choose. Right? There were some circumstances that you didn't have a choice in experiencing. Right? But we're grown. We're contemplative leaders. We're taking charge. And guess what? We are going to take advantage of the moments, the opportunities where we can choose for ourselves. So I'm going to choose every day how I'm going to show up as a leader. I'm going to choose every day how I'm going to treat my body. I'm going to choose every day on how I'm going to treat my family members. I'm going to choose the energy that I'm going to bring into the organization. I'm going to choose. Choice is important for the contemplative. Start learning that you have a choice every day on how you want to feel. So as you're moving in, to this incredible year. Let's go, let's go feel the momentum, feel the energy, let those desires just rise up to the top. And when they do rise up, Ooh, capture them, take a moment, just, you know, just entertain them for just a few minutes and see where your mind will take you. And when the mind goes, oops, you're not good enough. Oops, where are you going to get that money to invest in that business? Oops, you're acting crazy because remember your mom told you when you were seven years old that you're too loud and too proud and too annoying. Remember that? So I'm here to remind you, you're not able to do that. I just want for you to tell your beautiful mind Thank you. I know you're here to serve me, but sometimes you can be my worst enemy. And while I'm learning how to train myself and you, my mind, better, I'm going to ask for you to just stay over on the shelf back here. Just for the next hour or so. Don't worry. I'm going to take you everywhere, but just for the next hour, I just need some time. and time alone where I get to choose what I want to feel. And because I've chosen how I want to feel, my thoughts are going to support that choice. And it's going to override the negative bias and all of those interesting things that I have been programmed with. So give me just an hour. I just need a break. That has been working for me because this incredible mind of mine, listen, I'm brilliant. We all are. I'm not, I'm not going to take that for myself either. Like we're all, we're all doing amazing things around here, but yikes, this mind of mine likes to take over and it likes to catastrophize everything. It likes to bring out the worst in me. And call it the ego, call it whatever. It's a lot of things. There's a lot of things wrapped up in that. And there's times where I just say, I'm going to put you back here. I see you. I'm going to put you back there. And I'm going to choose to feel joy today because I haven't felt joy in a while. Ooh, I'm going to choose to feel empowered today. Ooh, because I haven't felt that in a long time. I'm going to choose to feel peace in my body. Oh gosh, I haven't felt that in a while, right? So I get to choose, you get to choose. So be intentional moving into And there's times where you'll forget you have a choice. You'll forget because life, again, will happen. The kids will run in. Somebody had an accident. Something's going on. And then you go back into the unconscious. That's okay. That's okay. This is how we train ourselves as contemplatives. We're deep thinkers around here. So when that happens, you just remind yourself. Put it on a Post-it note. I have index cards here. I fill out an index card every single day. You see that? I'm filming this on Friday, January the second, so that you can hear this on Monday. And listen, I have cards, dated cards on things so that I can remember, things that I need to remember. And on that card, it says, you have a choice in how you want to feel. And so I chose today to feel empowered. And guess what? Because I chose that, I don't know, unconsciously, I said, let's put on a red turtleneck or whatever this is, a mock neck. Let's put on a red lip because I want to feel empowered today. I don't want to feel defeat anymore. Because yeah, doing the reflective work that I've asked you to do, yeah, I felt some kind of way about it. And I had to get my emotions back in check, back online because I know my patterns. I know what I do when I feel a negative emotion or an emotion that just does not sit well with my soul. I want to go numb it. How many of you numbed the hell out of your mind and your body and your spirit over the holidays? Because twenty twenty five was tough. It was tough, but we're tougher. We're stronger. We have choice. This is what I love about the sovereignty that we have as contemplatives. We get to choose because we set the tone, because we are at cause, not at the effect of these uncontrollable variables. I talk so much about that incredible anchor symbol. Because the surface of the ocean is violent. It's violent. And guess what? You're not the source of all that violence. Other people's behaviors are. Other people's policies, rules, standards, expectations are. And you're over here going, well, I'm just trying to lead my team. What in the hell? And this is why you get to choose to be the anchor in any situation you find yourself in, because we are at cause. We are not at the effect of those circumstances. That's the energy you're bringing into twenty to twenty six. That's the spirit I want for you to bring into the workforce. This is the momentum that we want to create right here, right now. So join me inside the sanctuary so we can keep this energy going. Leader, welcome to twenty twenty six, the year of the contemplative leader. The sanctuary is waiting for you. I'm waiting for you in there. Come on over so we can serve you at the deepest levels of. Leadership. Want to support you all year long and you're going to want to enter the sanctuary as soon as possible. Thank you so much for your time today. I'm going to spend some time contemplating. It's going to be two o'clock here very soon. I'm going to have my tea, my ritual, my ceremony, and I'm going to pull up a desire that I've been feeling all morning and I'm going to entertain it. and I'm going to write about it, and I'm going to dream about it, and I'm going to pray about it. That's what we contemplatives do. I invite you to do the same. Leader, have a fantastic rest of your day, and I will see you inside the sanctuary or on our next podcast episode. Take very good care. Bye for now.
