Leader, if your title is heavy and your soul is tired, you're in the right place. This show is for the burnt out leader who feels spiritually disconnected and trapped in outdated, toxic leadership models. Let me help you restore your presence, your peace and your purpose with grounded strategies and soul rooted wisdom so you can lead your people with confidence, compassion and conviction. I am your host and guide, Dr. Denise Simpson. Join me now so we can integrate spirit, science, and strategy. Hi, welcome back, friend. Happy you are here. As I'm writing this upcoming book on the descent that we leaders must make, when the storm is raging and we are on the boat with our teammates, with perhaps maybe our family members, maybe our constituents, maybe our stakeholders, but you, the leader, are on that boat and you're navigating these uncontrollable circumstances. These are variables that are out of your control. It could be a new policy that the board of directors just implemented. It could be a federal policy that's now impacting your nonprofit. It could be a divorce that is impacting how you're showing up for yourself and for your children. Perhaps it is a financial concern that you're having as a business owner, and it is impacting how you are showing up to serve your clients. So you are on that boat. You're the captain of that boat. That's the role of a leader. whether you like that word or not, you are the one with the sacred responsibility to navigate through these uncontrollable circumstances. So the storm, the storm are all those variables. And the problem with that storm, it's not that they're uncontrollable variables. It's that you, you, think you should have control over those variables. That's the problem, not necessarily the storm, because listen, you've been on this earth for a good bit, like me probably, okay? You've been on this earth for a good bit, and you have experienced lots of uncontrollable circumstances in your life, right? We could see it as circumstances like death, disease, disappointment from a parent or a loved one. These things that are beyond our control. So you have experienced these uncontrollable circumstances. You're doing the same thing as the captain of this boat in this leadership capacity. And so it's not that the circumstances are the problem. It's that you believe or you think you should be in control, that you should have more control of these variables. And that is what is causing this friction in your life. And a lot of that is pain turning into suffering. These circumstances are painful, emotionally painful, sometimes even physically painful. It's painful. Life is going to serve you pain, but it's in choosing to not turn this into suffering. See, that's the disconnect between what you expect and what reality has served you. So there's the gap and there is where the suffering happens. So I say all that to say, you are a leader on this boat. You are responsible for leading this family, for leading this community, for leading this department, for leading your clients, for leading this collective. You are the leader. You are the captain of this boat. so the circumstances will always be uncertain you do not have control you do have influence however there's hope so when i say you don't have control i'm not saying you don't have a way to influence the outcome of certain things yeah so let's put that aside right because it's important that you do realize yeah i still influence because i am a leader But I bring this up because as I am writing this book about the descent, so here I am, and this is what I visualize for all of us. We are... leaders who were thrusted into these roles right some of us said yeah put me in coach i'm in put me into this arena i can do this better get me in there now some of you were just thrusted into these positions some of you it felt so inherent and just effortless and it was just like the next logical step cool whatever but you're here now okay so we all got here to this point So I visualize us on this boat, right? We all have our individual boats and we're out there on these interesting raging seas, okay? So here you are in your boat with the people you care most about, right? or the people you were assigned to steward in this organization, or you were elected into this public office and here are your constituents. So you are steering the boat. And you've got all these lives, all these souls on this boat. But here comes that storm. Here comes the raging storm. You knew it was coming. You knew it was coming. Because that is what we expect as leaders. We are trained to expect the uncertainty. So you knew the storm was coming. But maybe this time, this time, Your strategies, those coping strategies, those navigation strategies that you've been used to using are no longer working. So what has gone wrong? Well, nothing's gone wrong, my friend. Maybe it's just a different storm with some different power behind that storm, with some different circumstances behind that storm. And maybe what used to work for you before is not working now, okay? okay, fine, fine. So it's a new storm. Hmm. Hadn't seen this one before. Ooh, this one is, is rough. Wow. It, it wants to take me out. And I don't know if I have the stamina. I don't know if I have the endurance. I don't know if I have the willpower. I don't know if I have the mental fortitude to get through this specific storm. Hmm. So as I'm writing this book for you, I'm thinking of us, you, you individually on your boat and he individually on his boat and they individually on their boat because I'm on my boat. I'm on my boat, okay? And I have my own storm that I'm navigating through. See, that's all I can do. That's all you can do as a leader is navigate through the circumstances, right? But how do we navigate through this storm that we've never experienced before? Or maybe it has a different face on this storm now, different clothes on this storm. Oh, but it's a storm nonetheless. So we descend. We descend as leaders. We're not running away. I had somebody say to me, so when you descend down below and you pretend like you're the anchor, are you running away from your problems? Is this called spiritual bypassing? Oh, so glad that you asked that, my friend, over on LinkedIn. And oh my God, you're paying attention. So glad that you asked that. So I want to address that today. No, we are not escaping our responsibilities. We're not running away from the storm. No, my friend, that is not what contemplative leaders do. We contemplate, we take a pause. It's called a sacred pause on purpose because when emotion is high, logic is low. And when I am on the boat, I'm in the boat with my team and that raging sea is knocking us back and forth and we're about to fall out of that boat. The emotions are heightened and I can't think for myself because the neuroscience says that when emotion is high, logic decreases. Ooh, but I'm responsible. You see, I have these sacred responsibilities. And so it is my duty to disconnect, to detach, to distance myself from the emotional outrage, chaos, crisis, rageful seas that have impacted my mind and my nervous system. So in order for me to be proactive, to be someone who is responsible for stewarding these lives, I'm going to descend for just a moment, not for the whole month. No, this isn't like a sabbatical, my friend. No, we are descending in that moment. And I know so many of us in the heated conversations, in those heated interactions, when we are being told something that we're feeling threatened by, right? A lot of us leaders, we take a lot of this personally. And so we feel attacked. We feel like there is a real threat to our lives. And so what happens is, What happens? Our amygdala floods our bodies with these numerical chemicals called emotions. And what happens to the prefrontal cortex at that time? Your executive decision maker, we call that the CEO right here, my friend, that starts to blur where you can't think anymore. The clearness of your thinking, your reasoning, your logical or reasonable way of thinking starts to cloud because the emotions have flooded your reasoning capacity. So what do we do as contemplatives when these circumstances happen? We take a moment, a sacred pause. We descend down below. And down below just looks like a moment of silence. It looks like a moment of solitude. It looks like a moment of quietness. It's a do not disturb me for the next five minutes. Because if you do, I'm gonna jump out of this chair and I don't wanna do that. So I'm gonna have you give me five minutes so that I can distance myself from this emotional chaos. That's the reason why the anchor symbol, yet again, I say this every single episode, is important to the contemplative, because that anchor, that's a reminder. Ooh, I'm steady. I'm rock steady right here. Because that storm, bring all the storms. Okay, maybe not all at once, but bring all these storms. Go on. Go ahead, life. Go ahead, government. Go ahead, president. Go ahead. Bring all these storms to me. Go ahead. And I know I won't have control over any of them. But I surely know that my influence over this team, over these people, over these sailors in this boat, I have so much power in the influence of this community, of this collective. These are the people I directly impact. And I do have influence over what I say, over how I think about the situation, over how I treat my employees, how I treat my constituents, my collective, my children. My goodness, the power in that knowledge. Listen, I'm not going to worry about the things I have no control over. No. y'all can play you know russian roulette out there right you all can play that game okay y'all can do what you all want to do when you're trying to hurt some people out here but i as a contemplative leader will descend down below so i can distance myself from all of the emotional chaos and crisis and rage up here on top because i'm not going to let you affect affect my power So I'm not escaping. I'm not running away. I'm just descending down below. It's intentional because I have intent in my leadership. I'm not reactive. I'm not here to like, you know, be at the effect of whatever policy you want me to put in place or whatever the federal government says I have to do now. No, no, you will not take my power away. See, that's the thing about me, my friends, is that I looked at every situation through the lens of, am I at cause or am I at the effect of this law, of this policy, of these behaviors? And anytime I answer, oops, I'm feeling manipulated. I'm feeling like I've lost control. Yikes. I'm now at the effect of what this person has said to me. Ooh, I got a problem. And it's not with them. The problem is with me. It's not with them. There's no way. And see, there's the power. That's the power shift. It's like, oh, I'm not going to give you all that power. Like, I can't. Sorry. No. The world, society, my culture, my parents, some loved ones have tried to take away my power. But now I'm too smart for that. I'm too smart to be manipulated. I'm sorry. I'm now going to think for myself because now I know where your beliefs end and mine begin. Oh, that's the power that contemplatives have. Oh, mark my words, mark my words. Somebody highlight this, write this down, put an exclamation point at the end of this statement, because the contemplative is going to change this world. The contemplative leader is going to change this world. And that's who you are, contemplative. You're on that boat. You're experiencing this uncertain world, huh? That storm is uncertain. You have no control. You never had. It was an illusion. Your ego said, you may have more control over this thing. Now, boo, you have no control. What you do have control over is your perspective. Ooh, it's how you handle this very specific situation. It's in how you look at whether you are at the effect or at cause. Listen, I will be at cause all day, every day. Let me be the cause of the initiation. Let me be the cause of joy in this environment. Let me be the cause of clarity for you right now. I want to be at cause as a contemplative leader. And I have to descend, not run away. I'm not packing my bags and leaving you. No. Like, please. I mean, I'm in charge of this boat, my friend. I'm going to navigate through this storm. Trust me. Trust in me as your leader. And what I have to do as a contemplative is just descend down below for a moment, for a minute, for a heartbeat. Please give me a chance to breathe. Give me a chance to breathe so that all those voices start to diminish. All of those political pundits start to fade into the distance so that I don't I don't have to question my values, my decisions, my way of being so that I don't feel manipulated ever again. I have to descend down below because that is too loud and too rageful. And my baseline is peace. My baseline is peace. Those who know me, and you all know me by now, the two emotions that I bookend It's peace and anger. Yeah. I mean, I have an emotional range for sure. I mean, you've seen all the emotions that I get to show you on these video episodes, but in real life situations, in leadership situations, I'm like peaceful. That's baseline. That's homeostasis for me. Oh, it feels good. I'm at peace. I'm at peace. I feel good in my body. Ooh, my vision is expansive. I get to see beyond three D. Oh, peace. Ooh, it's peace. Peace in my mind. Peace in my heart. Peace in my soul. So I show up peaceful. A peaceful leader is a peaceful leader. I heard Robin Arzon on Peloton doing the high rocks, twelve-week training on Peloton. High rocks. Wow. Hybrid athlete, y'all. I'm trying my best over here. But anyway, she said something like a calm runner is the most effective runner. So when you're calm in your body, ooh, the quality of your run is perfect. It's good. It's good. You avoid injury. You avoid assault. So the calm runner. And so I like to think of the peaceful leader is the most effective leader out here. So peace or anger for me. Oh, and you don't want to see this girl. You don't want to see this Latina angry, huh? No. Some of you may want to see that, but I'm going to reserve that for behind the scenes. Okay. But for me, it's peace and contemplative leadership allows me to recalibrate into peace. So I return back to homeostasis. where I belong, because I am my most effective. I am my most clear. I am the most powerful and influential leader when I am at peace. And the descent for me and the image of the anchor dropping down below brings me so much calm. And serenity, serenity now, my friend, serenity now, I feel the peace already in my body and my nervous system starts to quiet down. And it's like, ah, we're safe again because we were up on top. Ooh, that was threat. A lot of threat up there. That was scary. Ooh, of course I couldn't think right. Of course I wasn't rational. Of course I didn't use all of my mental resources. Of course I wasn't able to see that this other person in this other department could have helped us with this situation. Of course I wasn't able to see that. All of the possibilities because I was clouded by the emotion and my logic was blurred. So I descend down below and we do that as contemplatives. The anchor, my friend, is the symbol that you want to carry with you into all situations, whether it's in the boardroom, whether it's in the classroom, whether it's in the courtroom, whether it's in a PTA meeting. You want to bring that anchor symbol. because you want to be your most effective and influential, powerful leader. And this is how we do it. So dear leader, I hope this has been helpful to clarify the incredible person over on LinkedIn. You are incredible, my friend. Thank you for bringing that very specific comment up in that. What are you running away from? Is this spiritual bypassing? Oh, no. We don't bypass anything here. We do the work. We do the work. Some of us have been called confrontational because we confront the problem. We don't run away from it. But we do have to descend and distance ourselves so that we can be in our most powerful and peaceful state. And I hope this has helped you today. Listen, I read all of your comments, all of your DMs. Head over there. Tell me what resonates with you on today's episode, whether it's on LinkedIn or on Instagram. You can share with me what you're taking into the workplace today or into your personal life and how this anchor is transforming the way you are showing up in leadership. And as always, leader, I want to invite you into the sanctuary where we get to do this work without the algorithms, without the screaming, raging, you know, social media algorithms that wants to fight for our attention. We're not here to fight for that. It's our attention. We have control over this attention. right? The intention and attention that we give. And inside the sanctuary is where you are able to do that in a peaceful, calm manner. So if you're watching or listening, head to the show notes, you will find a link to join us inside the sanctuary. I cannot wait to serve you in there. And in the meantime, I'm wishing you a wonderful rest of your week. And I look forward to meeting you soon. Take good care. Hey, before you go, if today's episode served you, please consider subscribing or even leaving a review. Or you can share this with a leader who is desperate to find peace right now. Now, if you're craving a deeper refuge, somewhere where you can return to the stillness, I created a sacred space. It's called the sanctuary. Here is where you can reconnect to your divine assignment. Thanks again for listening today, reader. Until next time, take very good care. Bye for now.
