Leader, if your title is heavy and your soul is tired, you're in the right place. This show is for the burnt out leader who feels spiritually disconnected and trapped in outdated toxic leadership models. Let me help you restore your presence, your peace, and your purpose with grounded strategies and soul rooted wisdom so you can lead your people with confidence, compassion, and conviction. I am your host and guide, Dr. Denise Simpson. Join me now so we can integrate spirit, science, and strategy. Hi, welcome back leader. Happy you are here. If you're tired, your leadership role is feeling very heavy. That title of yours, is feeling like a ton of weight on your shoulders, you're in the right place. If your soul is tired, if you are questioning whether you belong in this role, you belong here. See, heavy is the head that wears the hoops, my friend. Heavy is the head that wears the hoops. I'm wearing hoops if you are listening to this on Spotify or on Apple Podcasts. Listen, I am excited to talk to you about... the privilege it is to be in these roles. I know some of you are like a privilege. I hate my job. I hate my life. I hate this organization. I hate it all. Okay, cool. You're in the right spot. You see? Yeah. I want you here. I want you here. And if you are someone who is saying, okay, This leadership thing is not what I expected it to be. Like I thought it was going to be a lot easier. And now I'm questioning whether I should keep doing this, then definitely this is for you. Now, here's what's really interesting about that saying, heavy is the head that wears the crown. I changed it to hoops because I'm a Latina, love my hoops. all kinds of hoops diamond fake diamond hoops real diamond hoops very rare that i take those out um silver hoops gold hoops all the hoops all the hoops but heavy is the head that wears the crown so this weekend i spent um A few days with Uncle Tony Robbins. He's not my uncle, but I call him Uncle Tony because I have uncles that are his age and older. And it's so, so cool to be in a room with people who are growing and expanding and contributing their gifts to the world. It is so cool to be with like-minded individuals in that way. yes we all come from different walks of life we have different biases that we are working through we have different life experiences but we all come together in this incredible group that um uncle tony provides us with so that we can keep growing and expanding because we're we're not going to settle for mediocrity we're just like that's sorry You can be good, but I'm going to be outstanding. You could be average, but I choose to be excellent. You could be mediocre, but I'm going to be masterful in my trade. See, that's the energy and the attitude that these folks bring to Tony Robbins' groups. By the way, it was called Unleash the Power Within. I may have a notebook here or two that I took a ton of notes in because of how much learning I still need to do. So as I'm going through this four day, twelve to fourteen hour day event. OK, crazy. Like I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I missed a few of my high rocks workouts. I was just like, where am I? I was like out of body. I was living in my head and I had to like, oh, get back into my body, get back into my body. which I did today. So I'm so excited to be back in this body with all of these embodied principles. So I bring this idea of heavy as a head that wears the crown to you because of how exhausted so many of you are, that we have forgotten the sacred responsibility that we have to lead, to inspire, to influence our teams, our followers, our constituents, our community members, our families. And so if you are feeling the weight of that crown or the weight of these hoops, although these are very light, If you are feeling the weight of that title, come on in. Gather around, my friend. Oh, I'm so glad you're here. Let me treat you. Let me treat you to a few minutes of peace and calm and reassurance because we need more people like you and less like those people over there, okay? We know who they are. We are living through it. We have hit rock bottom. We have hit rock bottom. Social morality has eroded. People don't know what's right or wrong anymore. Like things are very vague and blurred. And I think this is why all of this resistance and friction and suffering has bubbled up to the surface. People are like, what in the hell is happening in this world? What is going on? And I'm here to tell you nothing's gone wrong. This was always planned. This was always planned. What you see in the news was always meant to be. What you see around the world was always meant to happen. I know it's hard for some of us to hear that. It's hard for some of us to hear that. You know how I know that's true? You want to know how I know that all that is true, that that's supposed to happen? All that was supposed to happen because it's happening. I'm not going to argue with reality, my friend. You will get the truth out of me. You will get the reality out of me. So I know that this was supposed to happen because it is happening. I will not question that. I'm not going to argue with reality. That's the first step. That's the first step going. Yep. I see that. And Ooh, it sucks. And Ooh, that hurts a bit. Okay. Let's, let's be real with each other. That's something I can promise you that I will continue to do every single week here is to be truthful, to share with you the reality. I'm not going to sugar coat anything for you. I'm not going to be, we're not in Delulu. We're not delusional here. Okay. We're not in Delulu land. We are right here in reality. And guess what? Some of this reality sucks. Reality sucks. But what I did learn this weekend that brought so much peace and reassurance to my soul was, yeah, you get to choose the perspective you want to have on what's happening in the world right now. Ooh, ooh, I still have sovereignty. I still have freedom of choice. Ooh, now that gets me hopeful. And the more I mull it over, it gets me excited. And the more I contemplate and ponder this, the more I can see the possibilities, right? So take a moment, take a moment with me right now to see that, yep, reality is reality. there are situations and then there are problems like my good friend seth godin likes to say and i heard him say this on a podcast recently he's like there are problems and there are situations problems you can solve may not be right away but you can solve these problems situations however oh eek not within your control Can't fight the law of gravity. That's a fact. Sorry. That's a situation. Can't change that. Law of physics. Can't change that. That's a situation. Can't change that. But problems. Ooh. Ask for the problems because you can solve for those problems. And so this weekend I learned to shift my perspective on situations. I'm like a problem. Bring it, bring it. I'll solve that son of a bitch right here, right now. I'll solve that problem right here, right now. It may take me ten weeks. It may take me ten minutes. It may take me ten years, but it's going to be solved. See, that's the urgency, the agency, the energy you want to bring to your life. And that's what I was reconnected with this weekend with Uncle Tony. TR, I call him in my house. My spouse knows he is Uncle Tony because, you know, we don't want to get anything weird around here. That's Uncle Tony. He's family. Yeah. And so what an exciting four days I had at Unleash the Power Within. Wow. That man... Has been doing this for five decades. Wow. The experiences, the wisdom, all earned, all earned. And it is so cool to be here now. as far as I've gotten in my life to be able to push me, Ooh, just a few millimeters more in that direction. Oh, it's like, bring it, bring it. I will, I will devour it. I will savor it. I will have it for lunch, honey, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If you let me, because that's the kind of growth and contribution that I want to have every single day as I'm serving you leader, as I'm serving you. So heavy is the head that wears the hoops. Yes. Let's, let's talk about how heavy this head is. Okay. I don't have a big head though. It's not that big. It's pretty average, but let me tell you something. The weight, the weight of the world sometimes gets trapped right here between my ears in this three pound organ called the brain. Yup. Like the weight is in there. And the weight stays in there unless I process it and digest it and eat it for dinner. And then I can turn it into wisdom in my body. I get to embody it. So I have to learn how to move the weight of the world, the weight of my title, the weight of my responsibilities from the brain down into the body. Ooh, baby, because I want to embody that wisdom. Because when it is embodied in the nervous system, in the body, in the cells of your body, it's yours. It's yours. No one can take that away from you. They can take your house. They can take your car. They can take your spouse. They can take your lover. They can take all your money, honey, but they cannot take the wisdom that you earned. Oh my gosh. That is what... I have taken, and many other things, but the primary principle that I've taken this weekend from spending, again, four days with Uncle Tony, is that, listen, this is all perspective shifting. perspective shifting, and it is exciting to be right here with you, helping you through this process, your process. It's now yours. It's now a ritual that you can do. So speaking of rituals, I want to talk briefly about the ascent. I've been Because the world is chaotic, huh? You got the crisis. You have all of that emotional violence and energy up on top, right? You're in that boat and you just got caught up in a storm, a storm that you weren't able to predict. Ooh, because those storms are uncertain. You have no control of those circumstances, my friend. Those are situations, right? Sometimes they're not even problems. They're situations that you have no control over. Okay. But some of those variables are problems that you can solve. But you are so blurred in your vision, in your thinking, in your feeling because of how that crisis has made you feel anxious, fearful, frustrated, overwhelmed. My goodness, all of those emotions, negative yielding emotions that come up. when you're caught in the storm. So I talked about how the contemplative finds awareness And in that awareness, chooses to descend down below, down below to the bottom of the ocean floor. Ooh, that's where you land. Ooh, that's where you bury your butt into that sand. Ooh, that's the anchor. Ooh, get comfortable. That anchor is now buried at the bottom of the ocean floor. Oh, how exciting. This is where you can think for yourself, my friend. This is where you disconnect, distance yourself, detach. From all the chaos up here on top of the surface of the ocean. Here are those turbulent, violent waves. But you, the contemplative, chooses to because you're caught in the mix. You're caught in a storm and you don't like the way this feels. You don't like the way it's triggering, activating your system. You're like, what can I do, Denise? I'm in the middle of this shit and I don't know what to do. Well, contemplative, Here's what we do. Here's the ritual that contemplatives follow. It's a ritual. How do I know it's a ritual? Because I've done it for myself a million times. This is my ritual. This is my pattern. Uncle Tony says, recognize those patterns. And then if you want to get back in that same state, you better write them down because that's how you're going to get back into those states. This is how I have found this for myself. The peace, the wisdom, the clarity. Ah, and so I've written down a ritual for you. And the contemplative that's caught on those violent waves decides in that moment I can't think clearly right now. My amygdala has hijacked my brain and my body. And there are neurochemicals that are causing fear, anxiety, anger, overwhelm. And when emotion is high, logic is low. Ooh, and I get paid to think because I am a leader. Ooh, okay. So what do I do? What do I do? I descend. I choose to descend. And the descent could be a few minutes, could be a few hours. Gosh, sometimes it is a few days. But we're not on sabbatical, my friend. We're not packing our bags and leaving our crew in that boat to die. No, we're just like, I'm going to take a moment. I'm going to take a moment because I get paid. Here's the sacred responsibility. I get paid to lead this team and to make these very hard decisions. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. So here's a ritual that Denise is now showing me that has worked for her a million times and for her clients. And now I'm going to try this for myself. Okay. So when I'm in the storm and I'm feeling the activation in my body and the triggers are simply the emotions that are flooding my amygdala and my brain and my body. So, okay, got the signals. Now I choose to descend. What does that dissent look like for you? It could look like ten minutes to yourself in your office. Do not disturb people because you don't want to see this chick pissed. Go on. Give me a break. Give me a moment because I need some time to detach, to distance myself, to just have a moment for myself because I owe that. I owe that to me and to you all, but first to me. So maybe it's ten minutes of putting in your earbuds, listening to some classical music. I don't know. You know, and listening to, you know, Rosalia's album Luck. Whatever. Wow. I mean, maybe not that one because that I don't know what that album does to me. Makes me want to go run a marathon. It's so freaking good. Maybe not. Maybe for you, you want to put in some Beethoven. I don't know, maybe something that can calm your brain, your body. It could be a ten-minute conversation with God, with divine intelligence. For me, my go-to is Mother Mary. Mother Mary, do you have a moment? Because we got to talk. Because I need some clarification here. I'm feeling this kind of way, and I'm not able to think for myself. And what would you say to me if you had me right here in front of you? How would you guide me? And it's all in the mind's eye. It's that simple. It could be a short meditation. It could be a short breathing technique or strategy. Gosh, I mean, it could be a phone call to someone who is going to tell you the truth. I mean, it's, it's whatever you want it to be. These are your rituals, those specific rituals that you want to start capturing that help you calm and ease your nervous system. For me, it could be earbuds and a little bit of the calm app. You don't know what the Calm app is? Go get it. I have no affiliation with these folks, but I put some EMDR on and I plug that in or I plug in a little Calm focus, you know, intentional, you know, instrumental stuff, right? You got all the interesting techniques that Calm has over there. So whatever it is for you, maybe it's opening up the Bible. I don't know. Maybe it's opening up another app that helps you detach, distance, disconnect. See, that's the point. We don't want to identify a ritual that's going to raise our blood pressure, that's going to send us in a spiral, right? The whole intent here is when we descend, we anchor. We calm those thoughts. We take a heartbeat for ourselves, a sacred pause. And we recalibrate. We become intentional down at the bottom of the ocean floor. And then I remind myself what those five spiritual principles are that we contemplative leaders follow. And so I take a moment to calm everything down and then I'm able to remember, recall, realign to those five spiritual principles. Then after I take a moment to ponder those principles, to remind myself why I'm here in this specific role, doing these specific things, leading these specific humans, then I'm able to ascend back up to the boat. I descend from that boat to detach myself from the chaos. I then anchor myself and I have my own rituals. Then I use those five spiritual principles to anchor myself so that when I reemerge back on top, when I go back and ascend back, back into that boat where my team is waiting for me, I am able to think for myself. Things are clear. Things are vivid. Things are purposeful again. That's what we do in essence as contemplative leaders. We descend, we anchor, and then we ascend. That's the process. That's the ritual. I've captured this for us. I've captured techniques and strategies that I've used for myself and for hundreds, maybe now thousands of leadership clients and students so that they can re-emerge back to the boat where they were expected, right? Your team was expecting you to take a beat, take a pause, but come on back, leader, because we need you. We need you to steer this ship, right? We're not abandoning ship. No, we're the captain of that ship, right? But we do need a moment, okay? We need a moment. And when we return, that's when we are transformational leaders. That's where performance measurements are a no-brainer because you could think further, farther, deeper. Wow, the expansive vision that you bring to the problem. There it is. There is a solution. I can see it clearly now. Wow. Those situations over there, uncontrollable. And I'm okay with that now. And now that I've ascended, I've reemerged. Now I can see everything very clearly for myself and my team. So now follow me. I got you. I got you. That's the model of excellence that you want to be for your people. But we have to take care of you first, leader. You first. First and foremost. You. You. You. So if you want to learn these rituals, learn these techniques, because you've identified some patterns, patterns that you have when you're in the middle of the storm, and these patterns are causing more harm than good for you and your team and your organization or your nonprofit or your community or whatever, they're going to join me inside the sanctuary. Join me now where you need to be. algorithm-free as always, where we get to do this intimate work together and you have full access to me there. I don't assign somebody else to do any of this work. I'm in there with you, you and I, and some other incredible leaders doing this work together because Heavy is the head that wears this crown. Heavy is the head that wears the hoops, okay? We are tired, exhausted, and the weight of our roles are taking a toll on our thinking, on our feeling, on our impact, the impact that we were hired to make as leaders and that we want to make. So join me inside the sanctuary, wherever you're listening or watching this podcast episode. You are going to click that link and join me now. All right, leader. There's so much more to come. There's so much more clarity that I have gained through these four days with Uncle Tony. My gosh. I mean, I can't even... I can't imagine, you know, what his five day events look like in person. Like this was all virtual and it was like life changing. It was so incredible. If you have a chance to see Uncle Tony. All right, my friend, it was an honor, pleasure to help you today, this week, this month, this lifetime. And I'm looking forward to seeing you inside the sanctuary today, right now. I'll go meet you there. Thank you for your time. I'll catch you very soon. Take good care. Bye for now. Hey, before you go, if today's episode served you, please consider subscribing or even leaving a review. Or you can share this with a leader who is desperate to find peace right now. Now, if you're craving a deeper refuge, somewhere where you can return to the stillness, I created a sacred space. It's called the sanctuary. Here is where you can reconnect to your divine assignment. thanks again for listening today reader until next time take very good care bye for now
