Leader, if your title is heavy and your soul is tired, you're in the right place. This show is for the burnt out leader who feels spiritually disconnected and trapped in outdated toxic leadership models. Let me help you restore your presence, your peace, and your purpose with grounded strategies and soul rooted wisdom so you can lead your people with confidence, compassion, and conviction. i am your host and guide dr denise simpson join me now so we can integrate spirit science and strategy hi welcome back leader happy you are here i want to talk about spiritual disconnection so those of you who are attracted to this work are Burnt out leaders, exhausted leaders, overwhelmed leaders, name all the reasons why. We've got a list of all the reasons why we are overwhelmed. And also spiritually disconnected. So those are two parts of who we are. We're leaders, number one. I think we all agree. We are leading ourselves, first and foremost. And we lead our families. For those of you who have children, we are leading our communities. We're leading our nonprofits. We're leading our teams. So we're leaders in a formal capacity or a societal capacity. But we're leading. We're leading. And we're also overwhelmed and or burnt out or exhausted or frustrated, right? Last week I talked about heavy is the head that wears the crown or the hoops. I'm wearing different hoops today, but you know, the weight is still there though. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. So we are exhausted. Things are feeling very heavy right now. That would be number two. And then number three, we are spiritual individuals. We have our own spiritual practices. Some of you have religious practices. Some of you have spiritual practices. Some of you have mindful practices. Here, we identify in those three areas. We're leaders. We're overwhelmed. And we're spiritual humans. So I think that's what... we all have in common here i think that's what brings us together as contemplative leaders and i and a lot of you out here um respect each other's faiths and religious beliefs as do i i'm not here to tell you what to think what to practice what to pray upon what to believe in i have my own journey and experience with the catholic church that I could write a book about. But today, as I sit here in front of you, I am a spiritual individual and I have faith. I have faith in something bigger and greater than my ego, right? I have a close connection with my creator, with who I identify as Christ and as God. This is my intimate personal relationship with that entity. This is none of anybody else's business. I don't. And if you ask me, I'll tell you, but I'm not here to promote. This is how you should do it. This is what's right or wrong. No, I'm not that person. I never will be right. Some of you open up that sacred text, whatever that text is for you. Hmm. There's many out there. Hmm. And some of you can relate to the words on those pages. And some of you don't care to open one of those books. And that's okay, too. So we are spiritual beings. This is what we have all connected to here in this group of contemplative leaders. And I want to talk to you today about that spiritual disconnection. When did that disconnection happen for you? I know very clearly for me when it happened. It was so clear to me. And I spent a lot of time trying to understand why. You know, I was disconnected from my faith for most of my life and then had to reconnect and to redefine the meaning, redefine what that relationship looked like for me. One that doesn't look like a Catholic relationship or a Protestant relationship or a Buddhist relationship. I had to define it for myself. And this is such an intimate experience and journey that we are all on. And this is why I want to keep this conversation general so that we can all tune in and resonate with. I'm not here to lean on any one specific thing at all. I just want to open up the dialogue of the disconnection, the spiritual one that we are having in our roles, in our lives, in our institutions. So I talk about through my doctoral work and my research as an academic researcher, public academic to be specific. I'm trained to look at trends. I'm trained to look at patterns through research, through observation. And as an executive coach and a leadership trainer, boy, did I have a lot of hands on molding of the clay with my clients. And so this spans about thirty years now as a leader, researcher, hands in the clay and in many various capacities. So as I'm trained to look at patterns, I am always interested, how did we get that pattern? When did that pattern happen? When did we even find awareness that it was a pattern, right? It's the rituals or the habits, habits of emotion, habits of thinking, right? You know, I talk about an emotional baseline, right? My baseline is peace, right? but it's bookended by anger and then everything in between. And so I know my patterns so well. I'm hyper aware because I want to be better, a better leader, a better wife, a better stepmother, a better mother, a better everything. I want to be a better human. And so I am very tuned into my patterns. And so when we look at patterns, we want to look back, For a moment, right? We don't want to spend too much time there, right? Some of that stuff is irrelevant. But what is relevant is that we take the learnings from the past. And then we start seeing and answering honestly here. Ooh, self-honesty is very important for a contemplative. And so we want to see what's the truth here? What's reality? What are these patterns that no one's called me out on? But it's time for me to call myself out on those patterns. What are they for you? right? For some of us, it's slowly evolving into a person who no longer taps into their spiritual connection, right? Because you're so busy with raising the children, going to work, being the breadwinner perhaps, right? That we have disconnected from those rituals. And so we started to see a pattern right? Maybe a pattern of rage, maybe a pattern of frustration, right? Maybe our new emotional home or baseline is that of frustration. It's no longer peace. So we want to identify our patterns. So have a moment for yourself right now to look back and ask yourself, okay, I was not always this way and I was not always this frustrated and overwhelmed and burned out. There were moments in my career where I did feel connected to myself, connected to my mission, connected to my people. And I'm now finding myself in a season where I am disconnected from everything. I don't even know where my shoulders begin, right? Where's the rest of my body? I live right here in this head of mine. And I don't know where the rest of my body is. I'm so disconnected from myself. And if I'm disconnected from myself, then probably I'm disconnected from some other people in my life. And so we want to look at those patterns for ourselves, our individual selves. And so for me, it was moving from peace, that baseline of peace, to overwhelm. I mean, I was burnt out. I was burnt to a crisp. And it happened when I was leaving a university. I chose to leave the university from a leadership role because I was burnt to a crisp. I was so exhausted. I started to hate myself. And I could only hate myself because I chose this role. I remember not feeling connected to the community, not feeling connected to the university, but I took this job because I needed to get a job and I needed to pay the bills and I needed to bring in the money and I needed, I needed, I needed, right? I didn't want to do any of this. And this was the only place that took me in right away after being gone, you know, out of the state for a while. And I, took this job and immediately resented it. I immediately regretted taking this role. It was far less than what I was used to living on. It was a babysitting job that I didn't know I was getting myself into. It was a very interesting place to work and immediately realized I made a mistake. And all of those emotions started to... creep into my everyday life, into my personal relationships, into my coworker relationships. I became somebody I didn't recognize. And I was so overwhelmed. And it was chronic stress that turned into burnout. And I knew that I didn't belong here. And I knew I didn't have a future at that university. I knew I needed to make a move sooner than later. And so because of all of that overwhelm and burnout, it was impacting every aspect of my life, my health especially. Couldn't sleep, was overeating, was overweight. My goodness, I was miserable, so I was mistreating myself. which also means you mistreat others. I mean, it's, we're just mirrors, my friend. Okay. I mean, just look at how you're treating others. And that's probably how you're treating yourself. You're like, Oh, Oh, I didn't know I was that cruel to my, to them and to myself. So for me, it's very clear when, when I experienced that disconnect, I stopped praying. I stopped meditating. I stopped all of those spiritual practices. Oh, My goodness, it was strong. The foundation was, I thought was rock solid. But when life takes you elsewhere, And when your mind shifts and wanders into the storms without the strategies, without being equipped, I didn't know I was supposed to be resourceful. I didn't know that there were techniques, strategies, coping mechanisms out there. I just thought coping was to eat my heart out so I can numb all my pain. Oh, that's the only coping strategy I have. Oh, really? Well, then look, thirty pounds later, you're like, what the hell happened? OK, that strategy isn't going to work here anymore. So take a moment, take a sacred pause with me so that you can identify for yourself. When did that disconnect happen for you? And then tie it back into the spiritual disconnection. Because as a contemplative, that's our foundation. That's our priority. So when we descend as anchors down below, we anchor into spiritual principles so that we can reemerge. We can ascend back to our teams with a clear mindset, with a pure heart and intention. With the strategies we need to move the collective forward. My goodness, the transformational impact that we have as leaders because of our spiritual foundation, because we've taken the time to descend and anchor into these spiritual principles. So if you're a contemplative, number one, you're a leader. Number two, you're overwhelmed. Number three, you are a spiritual human being. And so all we're doing is taking these three elements of who we are into consideration right now. And I want to know, when did you realize you were spiritually disconnected to your role, to yourself, to your people? I believe this is why we're in the current situation we're in. The political affairs, the international global affairs that we are in right now. Some very powerful people are disconnected from their spiritual principles. Ooh. Ooh, what great harm. What great harm. What destruction, the impact, the consequences of not being spiritually connected right now as a leader. You're witnessing it. What is it having in our lives, in our economy, in our communities, in these other countries? Yes, in our own backyard, but how about around the world? Spiritual disconnection is why we're in these situations. So if I can make a difference in one leader out here, if I can make a difference in your life, you right here, leader, you, you, who I'm talking to you, my friend, you, if I can help you see that to be a better leader. Hmm. spirituality has to be at the forefront. It has to be a priority for us right now. It has to be the foundation of your leadership practice. If I can inspire you to consider that for yourself right now, I've done a great job. And if you're telling me, yeah, spirituality has no business in leadership, well, then stick around, hang out. Listen to this a little bit closer, right? Hang out here with me a little bit more. And then maybe, maybe you'll see things differently. I'm not here to force you to think a certain way, but I am here to inspire you. As a contemplative leader myself, I am here to inspire and to influence you to be a better leader, to love yourself and others, to use your power for good. We have strayed so far away from social morality. My goodness. I said this before, I think in our last episode. We don't know the difference between right or wrong because everybody has their own personal truths. And guess what? My truth is not yours. I know that much because you've never lived a day in my life, in my shoes, in my nervous system. You have not experienced the trauma. You have not. You have no idea. And so my worldview is shaped by my truth. So see, there's validity in saying that you have a truth, I have a truth. But here's where we've gone wrong. Where now it is so blurred that nobody has moral sense anymore. Right or wrong. How to treat a person in fairness and justice, right? We're so quick to condemn people if they disagree with our personal truth. And so it's fine to have your personal truth, but is it right? You can have a personal truth, but is it right? Right versus wrong. So here's how simple this is. Love. Love is the intent. Love is the goal. Love is the bullseye. So if you're coming into your leadership practice, loving yourself, loving yourself, you will easily love somebody else, a stranger, an employee, one that you didn't hire, that you had to inherit, a stepchild, a stepmother, right? The person in office. When you love yourself, you can go, okay, I love myself so much that nothing, nothing else can infiltrate, nothing else, not envy, not greed, not fear, not anger. I want to look through these eyes, through the eyes of source, which is love. You want to know the difference between right and wrong? What's the intent behind that action? What's the intent behind that decision? Is it to harm somebody else? Is it to harm a specific group of people? Is it to harm a country? Is it right versus wrong? Is this right? Because the intent is filled with love. justice and fairness? Or is this decision, if the intent of this decision is to harm others and to exclude a group and to punish a specific person or group of people, then that's straight up wrong. That's how simple this can be. That's as simple as I can make this for us. Love, love, love, love at the heart of everything we do as leaders. You think these leaders out here love you, love your community, love your children? No, they don't. Just look at the intent behind their decisions, behind their laws, behind their policies. So as a leader, here's your sacred responsibility, and I'm going to leave you with this. As a leader, a contemplative leader, not like all of them, you're not cut from the same cloth as them. You are right here with me as a contemplative. Your intent behind every decision, every action you take is that of love. That's how we move back into common moral sense. That's how we correct the wrong that this world has brought us, that these leaders have brought us. The destruction, destruction of our souls, destruction of our morality. This is how we fight. That fight is through love. And I know some of you are like, love girl, are you crazy? We got to fight. We got to fight with fire out here because they're not going to listen to this. But again, if I can influence, inspire just one of us out here, just you, you, you, To start looking through these incredible eyes with love for yourself, first and foremost. It's hard when you don't love yourself. It's impossible for you to love somebody else. I get that much. You hate your employees right now because you hate yourself. Ooh, I know, that stung. But listen, I've hated myself for a very long time, which meant I hated everybody who crossed my path. Not just my employees, but my family. Those that I said I loved, okay? Because when you don't love yourself, there's no way you can love another, much less a stranger. I get that. And at the heart of a contemplative is love. It's love. That's what I'm focused on. Every day, every day when I'm serving my clients, every time I come here on a podcast episode for you, it is because I love myself. I love myself. Oh, I love myself so much that I will never suffer again. i'll feel pain bring bring it bring it my life's gonna bring me the pain but suffering no child we're not doing that anymore because i love myself the moment i feel envy for another person gotta check in gotta check in where am i lacking the love what is it about you you're not loving because you're so envious of this other person what is it that we need to reconnect with this is part of the spiritual connection To ourselves and to something bigger and greater than our egos. The ego is why we are fighting this war with morality. The ego has kept us from loving ourselves and each other. This is why we're in this predicament. And you, contemplative, can change that for your community. And I implore you to take this and use it now. Take what I am sharing with you. Take what resonates. And then put it into practice and watch how your community is impacted because your intent was filled, was fueled with love. All right, leader. Share with me over inside the sanctuary. That's where you're going to find me and others. Share with me there. how you are putting this into practice. That's where you have access to me. One-on-one firsthand as a group, we're in there. I'm in there. So if you want my eyes, my heart, my soul on your brain, your heart, and your soul, you want mine on yours. Join me inside the sanctuary. Wherever you're listening or watching this podcast episode, you will find a link to join me in there right away. And then tell me how I can support you. Tell me how you're using this work so that we can make this world a better place. One contemplative leader at a time. All right, leader, I see you. I know you. I love you because you are me and I am you. And I'm here to support you every step of the way. Thank you so much for your time today. I'm looking forward to serving you very soon or right away inside the sanctuary. Take good care. Bye. Hey, before you go, if today's episode served you, please consider subscribing or even leaving a review. Or you can share this with a leader who is desperate to find peace right now. Now, if you're craving a deeper refuge, somewhere where you can return to the stillness, I created a sacred space. It's called the sanctuary. Here is where you can reconnect to your divine assignment. thanks again for listening today reader until next time take very good care bye for now
