Leader, if your title is heavy and your soul is tired, you're in the right place. This show is for the burnt out leader who feels spiritually disconnected and trapped in outdated toxic leadership models. Let me help you restore your presence, your peace, and your purpose with grounded strategies and soul rooted wisdom so you can lead your people with confidence, compassion, and conviction. I am your host and guide, Dr. Denise Simpson. Join me now so we can integrate spirit, science, and strategy. Hi, welcome back later. Happy you are here for another week to pause the world, to pause the demands of your people and take a moment for yourself to contemplate, to ponder, to reflect. And I'm so honored that you have chosen to do that with me right here, right now. So welcome in. Happy you are here. I am excited to talk to you about beliefs because Beliefs are the fuel of our actions. Our beliefs fuel our emotions, therefore our behaviors, and therefore ultimately our results. So there's an interesting little domino effect, but the beliefs are right here. These are the beliefs. They're just thoughts that we keep thinking about and over and over again and because of our emotions and the behaviors and the results we've created from a thought we reinforce it over and over again because the brain is looking for evidence the brain is looking for a shortcut the brain is looking for automation so a thought that you keep thinking about over and over again and reinforcing it with evidence becomes a belief I talk about beliefs a lot with my clients because that is the foundation. Don't build a structure without this solid foundation of beliefs that are going to propel you forward, that are going to catapult you forward, that will leap you forward. See, these beliefs that we have have gone unchecked. We have gone without evaluation, right? We take them for granted. Oh, it's just a thought. It's just a belief that I picked up when I was a little girl. This is what we believe in my culture. This is what we believe in my peer group. And so we don't ever question this because of something called confirmation bias, right? We also have a groupthink bias. We have lots of biases, okay? And so these are just a few examples of how beliefs become reinforced. I mean, think about a belief you have right now about your culture. or about your role in the organization, or about your family? What is a belief that has kept you planted, seated, immobile, because you are either fearful You have been told that if you pursue this, this is what you're going to expect, and it's not going to turn out well for you, so don't even bother. There are some beliefs that we want to keep, and those are the ones that we want to find awareness around. We want to definitely look under the microscope here. But it's the beliefs that are yielding positive results in our lives that we want to hold on to, right? And sometimes there's beliefs that we have outgrown, right? We have evolved and we have outgrown. And some of us have said, well, I'm just tired of the pain and suffering. And you're not sure why you've reached a point in your life. But then when you look back, you can correlate that to a belief, right? a belief that we create that then form values around. Because what you value is what you're going to focus on. What you value is what you're going to spend money on. What you value is what you're going to move your energy towards. So beliefs and values are tied together. I love these two elements of who you are. So when I ask you what's important to you, you're telling me a list of values. So I can take your values and I can make an assumption on the beliefs that you have tied around to these values, depending on how you define or add the meaning to these values. So this is what I cover in my one-on-one coaching and also in the sanctuary with my group of leaders. We talk about beliefs and values, but today we're going to talk about beliefs. We can get into the deeper work once you come into my world and we get to work together so that you can have my mind and my heart and spirit on yours. Okay. So for now, let's talk about beliefs, right? Because we come into leadership with all of these interesting beliefs. So I went into leadership pretty young. You know, ran the student store in high school, loved it, loved it. And, you know, worked at Montgomery Ward at sixteen years old and then went into retail management at nineteen years old as a Bath and Body Works manager. Store manager. OK, what? What? Like the beliefs I had at nineteen were very interesting compared to the beliefs I have now about my leadership practice. Right. I have evolved. I have. Thank goodness I have. I have evolved into a more mature, emotionally regulated leader. But there I was at nineteen with all this interesting life experience, which wasn't much compared to where I am at today, of course. But at that time, at nineteen years old, I mean, I thought I knew everything. I thought I was on top of the world. I thought, my goodness, so much so much responsibility. And I took it very seriously. I did. I was I was doing it all wrong. But at that time, you couldn't tell me otherwise. And so I went into this leadership role at nineteen with so many interesting beliefs, beliefs about my womanhood, beliefs about my culture, beliefs about my identity. But so many personal, sociocultural beliefs. psycho genetic or how Arthur Brooks calls them psycho factors. So it's not biological, but some other psychological factors that I brought into the organization. And so here I was. leading with my trauma, leading with my pain, leading with my selfishness, because of all of these beliefs that I had formed unknowingly, unconsciously. So here I am, leading an incredible team of retail associates, and doing the best I could with the lack of knowledge and skills as a leader. So I relied heavily on those beliefs unknowingly. I was leaning on those belief systems. And I have to admit that I probably did more damage than good in, you know, on this team in this organization, because I was so filled with some very interesting beliefs about my, my, my confidence level, my competence level, my goodness, like this girl had no business leading anybody at nineteen. But there I was, I convinced somebody, and someone gave me the keys to the kingdom, queendom, and there I am. But I bring up this, this you know, story about beliefs because I look back and I cringe on those moments. Wow, I was so self-serving. I was so self-centric. There was so much narcissism, so much. So the ego was definitely leading because I didn't want anybody to see how traumatized I was or even how scared I was to lead a team and to manage and steward millions upon millions of dollars for the store, right? So I was, needless to say, a very bad leader, which is why I was so fascinated in doing this research and doing this work and lining myself up in this trajectory of leadership studies. And so the beliefs are what are fueling your thoughts, your daily thoughts about yourself. Those beliefs are yes are fueling those thoughts but those thoughts be careful because those thoughts then create emotions and those emotions then propel action or inaction and then ultimately you're creating results in your organization but if we look back It's a direct correlation back to your belief systems. So look at your output. Look at the results you're creating either in your life or in your organization. And you can go back. And this is what I get to do as your coach. I get to help you find awareness back to those belief systems. And yes, those values that you've created to support those belief systems. So it's a very interesting thing that we do in this leadership coaching work. We take a look at the result you created, and then we start lining it back to those beliefs. And some of these beliefs you want to keep because maybe the results you're creating are rewarding. They're rewarding for yourself and for others. Maybe the results you're creating are really just a reflection of your higher self because of your higher calling, your divine calling. So maybe we look at those results and go, yeah, that was wonderful. I want more of that. But I'm not sure what's fueling that. I'm not sure the thoughts and I'm certainly not sure the beliefs are. but let's dig into those. And so we do, and we reinforce those beliefs because they're here to propel you forward. But the results that you've created, either in your finances, in your personal intimate relationships, or in your friendships, or even, you know, in your health and mental wellbeing, right? You want to look at all those areas of your life and then look at what you've created in those areas and then ask yourself, are these fulfilling? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most fulfilled in this area, right? If you're at a ten, good. Those are the beliefs that we want to identify and then keep reinforcing. But let's say you score under a five. Maybe you score yourself at a three or even a four, and you're questioning how this could be better, this one area. How could this be better? Well, let's look at those beliefs that are tied to those daily thoughts and that are then tied to those emotions that are then fueling your actions or inaction and then ultimately the results you've created and i had to do that for myself recently when i was wanting to create an intentional belief about my athleticism so i you know was was not uh an athletic young person um give me a book and I would read it from, you know, cover to cover and no, don't ask me to go outside because I'd rather sit here and read, or I'd rather sit here and contemplate. But I was not someone who wanted to be on a team, a sports team, because number one, I was an athletic, at least that's what I was telling myself. And that told myself for many decades, but also I didn't want to draw attention to my inability in my athleticism. So for most of my life, I had that identity. Oh, I'm just not a sports person. I'm not an athlete. I barely want to work out. I barely want to pick up a chair and you want me to go lift weights? Are you crazy? Like, I don't do that. So for a very long time, that was my identity. until I had a health scare. Ooh, until the result that I created, not anybody else that I created in my body. Ooh. So not only was, there was physical ailment and there were some issues with my blood work. I was also looking at how terrible I felt in my body. So not only did I have the measurements, the scientific data, like the blood panel work and some other interesting data that the doctor told me was wrong, I also felt horrible. So you've got the tangible and the intangible. Results that you create, that I created for myself. And I had to really question what was happening. What was going on with my mindset? What was going on with my values and my belief systems? What was going on, yes, with my body? What was I, you know, the behaviors I was taking because of this belief system I had, because of these daily thoughts that were recurring, right? Because of these emotions that I had. right? That again, tied to the action or inaction. So for me, it was inaction. I didn't want to work out. Because I had believed that I was not athletic and that I don't do that. That it's just not my thing that I get like, what, where did you get that girl? I don't know where I got that from. I really don't. I don't know if it's a neuro association that happened in my youth because my dad was very athletic. I don't know if I just tied that to not wanting to be like my dad. I don't know. But it was there. And now at this age, I was experiencing health concerns because I was not moving my body because of a belief system that was running my thoughts about working out, my emotions about moving my body and what I was capable of or not capable of. And then ultimately the result of a bad health diagnosis. Oh, so I had to unravel some things. So see, look at your results that you've created for yourself and then, huh, go back. Okay. Is this result a negative yielding result? Okay. Now I want to question this because if I want to live another thirty, forty, fifty years, I'm going to have to change this belief system, this identity tied to these thoughts that then ultimately created this belief. So that has been the journey of intentionally creating a brand new belief for myself. So now you want to run a marathon with me? Let's freaking go. What? We're going to go run a high rocks race? Let's freaking go. I mean, I can tell my clients all the time. I'm like, I'm I can get ready for this marathon today. And I'll be ready to run this sucker in just a few short months because I am ready. I'm always ready now. And that's what I've been doing the last few years is preparing my body. There's a coach on Peloton. I'm doing the twelve week high rocks training program with them. So I'm not at a gym here in Austin. No, I'm in my house, in my gym, my personal gym. And I am running and I'm lifting and I am rowing and I am on a bike like there's everything you can imagine I'm doing in my home. But there is a coach on Peloton who said, better to have it than not need it, than to need it and not have it. So yeah, I may not go run the marathon this year, but I'm going to have the skills, the stamina, the endurance, the capacity to be able to do that should I need it. And so that's where I'm at now in regards to my belief about my athleticism. Bring it, bring it. Let's go. Let's go push some sleds. Let's go do some farmer's carry. Let's go do some wall sits or wall ball things. Whatever. But I'm there. I'm there now. And it has taken, yes, a few years. I mean, but consider that I had almost an entire lifetime with this belief system that was running my emotions and my lack of activity. to now the last few short years, it has been rewired. And I have been reprogrammed and reconditioned to go and run a race should I want tomorrow. Like that's how prepared I am. And so I'm going to see my doctor next week. I see him every six months. He's a private doctor that I see. And he's a concierge kind of doctor. So I'm able to see him as often as I need to as I am reprogramming the cells of my body almost. Not only am I taking care of the wiring, I'm taking care of the biology too. And so all because of the belief I now have. that I am prepared physically, mentally, spiritually. And yes, on a cellular level, I am so damn prepared. Never been this prepared in my life, but it took a health scare to get me to this point where I had to reevaluate that belief so that I'm here now telling you that it can work for you too. It's taken me longer than I expected. However, considering the almost forty plus years with that one belief system that I never bothered to reevaluate. And so that's the thing about beliefs. Look at the results so that you can then question, should I change this? Is this worth looking under the hood of the mind? Is this worth reevaluating? So you want to challenge your beliefs. Don't Believe Everything You Think. That's a good book that's out there. Simple, very simple, but the kid wrote an amazing book. I don't know who he is. I forgot his name, but it's a very small book. You can read it in like two hours. And he's like, yeah, don't believe everything you think because this is how we end suffering. It's how we're going to end the pain and suffering is by challenging and questioning what we're thinking. And so I'm just taking it a layer or two deeper than his book. And I want to look at your beliefs, the beliefs that are tied to this identity or these thoughts or these emotions or these behaviors or these ultimately results that you're creating. So I want to open that conversation with you. So if you haven't been challenged yet, Count on me. Count on me to challenge you a little bit because I want for you to look at a result in your life. And I am very much interested in the context of leadership for us because this is where you spend most of your time. I mean, this is your vocation, this is your career, and this is where I'm most interested in helping you. But as a life and leadership coach, I'm able to help you in all areas of your life because how you do one thing is how you do everything. Because you take your brain, your heart, your spirit, your soul, everywhere you go. So don't think that you can compartmentalize a belief about one area of your life and not think it is seeping into other areas of your life. So if you are interested in doing this work and going deeper with me, because we contemplatives do that. The sanctuary is where you want to go and meet me now. Head over there now. We are starting something up this month in that I'm going to coach your little heart out. I'm going to coach your brain out. I don't know. That sounds weird. But I'm going to be in there on a weekly basis doing group coaching with our incredible leaders in there. And I am extending that invitation to you right here, right now. So go meet me in there and get my eyes, get my spirit, get my heart, get my mind. On yours. All right, leader. Question everything. Question everything. Be a skeptic. Don't be a cynic, but be a skeptic because that's what we contemplatives are. Skeptics at heart. And so we question everything, including our own belief systems. So I'll see you inside the sanctuary. Click wherever you're watching this or listening to this and then head over there now. I'll see you inside. Take very good care, leader. And I cannot wait to serve you inside the sanctuary. I'll see you there. Bye. Hey, before you go, if today's episode served you, please consider subscribing or even leaving a review. Or you can share this with a leader who is desperate to find peace right now. Now, if you're craving a deeper refuge, somewhere where you can return to the stillness, I created a sacred space. It's called the sanctuary. Here is where you can reconnect to your divine assignment. thanks again for listening today reader until next time take very good care bye for now
