Thank you. leader, you were born for this, but somewhere between the toxic leaders, broken systems and workplace trauma, you forgot why you said yes to leadership. This show is your invitation to descend, to anchor, to find the stillness beneath the noise so you can ascend back to your team with clarity, conviction and renewed purpose. I'm Dr. Denise Simpson, and I will guide you through five principles that restore your wholeness and call you back to your original assignment. Join me now so we can go deeper. It's time to find your way back. It's time to find your way back. Wow. I am so happy you're joining me again for another opportunity to descend, to detach, to distance ourselves from the chaos, from the surface that is filled with uncontrollable variables. One client said to me, actually, it's not the external variables that I'm concerned with. It's actually the internal variables, the internal storm that's within me that sometimes I feel like I don't have control over. So wherever you are in that pipeline of leadership, some of you have formal titles, some of you don't. Some of you have reached out and said, I'm a single mom and I'm looking to get back into the workforce. And some folks are actually leaving the workforce and starting their own businesses. And so wherever you are and however you identify yourself, This is an important message. It's an important, almost internal drive or motivation or pull. It's knowing that you were called to lead, either to lead your family. to lead your community, to lead your department, to lead your organization, or to lead your business. You were called to do this work. And we're going to talk more about that today because we are diving into the first of five anchors that we anchor ourselves back into because it's about reminding us. So when the surface is chaotic and the seas are raging and there is so much turmoil, not only in your own mind, but yes, in the world, in your family, in your community, in your organization, What we do is we descend, we choose to descend down below. And then we anchor into five very powerful principles that then allow us to ascend back into our boats. So the process is to descend, to detach, because you're on that boat, my friend. You're the captain of that ship. And here comes that storm again. And my job as your coach is to share with you there's a better way to lead. And it begins by deciding to descend. And that just looks like detaching from those high emotional waves. and we descend down below, and then we anchor ourselves into these five principles so that we can ascend back into our boats to help our teams, to help our communities, to help our people move forward, right? Because that's why we are in leadership, because we are moving the collective forward. That is our sacred responsibility. So we have to do what we need to do to take care of ourselves. Just like I had a CEO tell me, what do you want me to do? You want me to help bring you in so that you can help me with burnout, that's on them. That's on them to decide what to do about their burnout. I'm running an organization and here are my performance measurements and I have to answer to a board and I'm not going to spend money on you coaching my executive leaders on burnout, but in the way you do it through contemplation, through integrated leadership and contemplative rituals. I'm like, well, I'm just showing you as well that there is another way to lead. And you may not want to explore that right now. And I'm not doing a very good job then sharing with you the value of what this work can do for your people. And that's okay because I'm building the empirical research. That's okay because I'm building my sample populations in various industries right now. So that's okay that you don't see that. what I see as a visionary leader, and that's okay. And so if you are in that pipeline of leadership, either through formal title or not, again, this is the message for us today is that you are born to lead. And because of these systems that are in place, Systems that were in place long before you and I and our grandparents probably entered that pipeline of organizational culture. There are systems that we did not have anything to do with putting in place, but because we know they are there, we need to call them out and we need to take responsibility for changing this for the next generations that are coming behind us. That's our responsibility as leaders. And I am happy that you are here, curious about what this can do for you and how this can help you on your journey of leadership. So welcome. Welcome to another episode. We started this season, if you recall, episode one, I talked about a guiding question that just like a researcher you get a question in your mind and then you go and explore you're like oh there's this hypothesis and well you know here's some variables and huh can i actually do you know a sample survey on this group and ask these specific questions and although some of my studies aren't you know um at the empirical research journal you know peer-reviewed journal level but i as a public academic get to do whatever i want however i want it And so the question for me as I was ending one season and beginning the next was, can you be an effective leader without sacrificing your soul? Ooh, do you have a soul? Yes, you do, whether you know it or not. I mean, we can rephrase that question however you want. I mean, it could be, can you be an effective leader without destroying yourself? Okay, some of you get that. But the guiding question overall is, can I be an effective leader without sacrificing my soul? Because gosh, this is so painful right now. There's got to be a better way. I can't keep doing it this way. I'm burnt out. I'm exhausted. I've destroyed relationships. I've destroyed my health. My mental well-being is no longer a priority for me because I'm so... in demand in this high intensity role and it's nonstop and I don't have the coping strategies, healthy ones at that, that can help me sustain a fulfilling, purposeful vocation. So the question, can you be an effective leader without sacrificing your soul is a good question to ask. And we're going to keep asking that question as I keep showing up every week in this season, season four of the show. So the last two episodes have laid the groundwork for us. And now we dive into our first anchor, the very first of five anchors. And so... I love that analogy of you are a captain of that ship and on that ship or boat, you have people on that boat. You were assigned to lead that group of people, right? Whether you inherited them or you hired every single one of them, you have a sacred responsibility to navigate this boat with this team through this storm, right? And it's not just one storm, you're a leader. We're gonna have lots of storms. Sometimes one's coming at you head on and there's one behind you. And so when I picture us individually on our boats, We're out there all alone sometimes. And it feels like that, that we are all alone in the middle of the ocean. And there's no one to call upon because we are it. We are the people, the person to be called on to step into this role of leader. And there we are individually on our boats questioning and doubting. And the imposter syndrome likes to show up in these kind of circumstances. And there you are questioning whether you can do this job. because the storm is so tumultuous, it is destructive, it is violent at times. And sometimes there are external variables like a federal policy or a change in law or a change in state regulation or a change in the manufacturing pipeline or fill in the blank, of a circumstance that you do not have control over, but it's impacting your organization, it's impacting you. So sometimes we have those external circumstances that we do not have control over. What do we have control over? I'm hoping you're asking that question right now. Well, what we have control over is the perspective that we take as we are navigating through these storms. That's all you, baby. That's a lot of power. I'll bet on myself all day, every day, because I have no control over what's happening in the world and what's happening in my industry, but I sure the heck have all the power. in how I react. Am I a proactive leader or am I a reactive leader? Am I throwing a tantrum like my five-year-old or are you showing up in all of your glory with all of your grit and resilience and your knowledge and your capabilities? Like you tell me, how are you showing up in these circumstances? Because you have control of that part. Ooh, that's power. That's power. I'm not concerned. And just like my client said to me, I'm not concerned about these external variables that I have no control over. What I'm fearful most are the internal variables that I feel out of control. Like I don't know how to cope and I don't know how to get through these circumstances without destroying myself. So nevermind someone outside of us. It's the monster within, right? It's like the calls coming from inside the house. Oh, that's scary. Hello. That is okay. But here's the power is that we get to look at leadership through a different lens, should we wish. We can decide right here, right now to lead differently, should we wish. We also have a choice. to descend. And we're going to talk more about descending. What does that descent look like? Are we crashing and burning or are we running away from our team? Why do you want me to drop down below? What do you mean, Denise? Do you want me to escape? Do you want me to keep numbing my emotions? Is that what descending means in this context? No. Descending means dare I say, caring about the way you feel more than those variables that you don't have control over. So when you care deeply about yourself and your emotions and how you process these circumstances, you are willing to do what is necessary. And that looks like sometimes distancing yourself from that immediate climate, that immediate circumstance. so that you have an opportunity to anchor into five very important principles. And these are the principles that we will go through. We'll start with the first anchor today, and we'll move through the rest this season. But when we anchor so that we remind ourselves why we're doing what we're doing, And we remember that we have all this capacity and we remind ourselves, oh, the power has always been within me. Because let me tell you something, those systems, systems that, again, were here long before your grandma and your mama were in the workforce, they were systems that were put in place that weren't for people like us. And those are the systems that tend to remind us that we're doing it wrong, that we're not enough, that we shouldn't be here. that we don't belong in these rooms. I mean, how many of you have imposter syndrome, even though you are in executive level positions or you're founders of your businesses, like you are at exceptional levels of leadership, and you still have that imposter syndrome, it never goes away. It never goes away. You just see things through a different lens, right? The higher you go, it's a different altitude. It's different, you know, level of oxygen, like a different level of air. You're like, am I dying up here? oh my gosh, because I thought down below was hard, but now I'm up here and what, I mean, listen, wow, the landscape is gorgeous, right? I can see for hundreds of miles from here compared to where I was before, but wow, is it worth it up here? Because I feel like I'm dying and my lungs are being squeezed out of me right now. Are you kidding me? This is what I worked so hard for? that's imposter syndrome too right imposter syndrome also looks like I don't deserve this and this was just luck so there we are in these interesting internal weather systems our own internal storms and these are the thoughts that are coming up at least for my clients maybe for you it's a different flavor But I'm here to remind you, and we do that through anchoring into these principles. And this first principle is the purpose anchor, why you lead. And here's the question for you and put this in the chat. I'd love to hear what you have to say about why you lead. Tell me. Do you remember when you were called into leadership and why you even said yes? Why did you say yes? Why was that something important for you? Why did you say yes to leadership? Listen, some of us were very intentional. Like we had a one-track mind. We're like, we're going to college, we're gonna do this and we're gonna, okay, so you took it, it was a blueprint and you followed the blueprint and you're here in leadership. And then some of us were thrusted into leadership. Maybe because of some childhood circumstances. Maybe. In my case, I was a kid who didn't have a lot of power, didn't have a lot of say. I was muted most of the time. And it wasn't intentional by my family members. It was because they had so much louder things to talk about and their stuff was a whole lot more interesting than what I had to offer to the family. I mean, I literally was taped by my second grade teacher, Ms. Cisneros, at my private Catholic school because I uttered a page number to my classmate because she asked me, what page are we on? And I said, one forty seven. And Mrs. Cisneros, you know, was very angry that I used my voice and So in the second grade, I was already being taped and muted. And so, yes, these are circumstances that squeezed me, pushed me, thrusted me into leadership when I then realized, oh, I do have something to say and my voice matters and my wisdom matters and my experience certainly matters. And so I am now responsible for doing something about that. And that happened when I was in college. Before that, probably in high school when I was helping run the student store because I loved it. And then I had a part-time job at Montgomery Ward at the Tire Center. And so there I was, you know, getting my check and was really excited about working my little heart out. Let me tell you, no one could outwork me then. Now you can. But back then, my work ethic was impeccable. It was crazy. I loved to work. But I ask you this question, why... You were called into leadership. Take me back to that circumstance. What called you into this leadership pipeline, this leadership journey? Look back at that first leadership role. Maybe you started at the local grocery store and maybe you moved up quickly because somebody said, wow, this person has these qualities and I want to make sure that they're promoted and that they are seen for the contributors that they are. And so maybe you moved up through the ranks there. And maybe you intentionally said, I'm going to seek this leadership role and this is what I plan to do. Now, how about us founders who leave our... you know, typical careers. And we go into spaces that, you know, we've never been before, but we believe in ourselves. And there's maybe an inkling or a little, you know, ember of hope that we could actually make a difference in our industry. And so there we are being pulled, some of us being just pushed into the arena, while some of us are being pulled by this call. And so what called you to leadership in the first place is an important question to ask ourselves today, especially when we're exploring this first anchor, the purpose anchor, why you lead. And I know the world has its own agenda. And there are groups of people and systems and models of business and models of leadership that want to remind us that we don't belong here. And that this calling is just, you're reading too much into it. It is so surface level. Just come get your check and do what you need to do. Get these performance measurements met and then be gone, go on, go on your way. But I'm here to tell you, This is why you're burnt out. This is why you're exhausted. Because you have no depth or meaning to this role anymore. Because you have been trampled on. You have been told. It's like somebody took a club over your head and keeps hitting you over the head and keeping you from... realizing, oh, I don't need this headache and I don't have to keep getting pounded this way. Why don't I go and seek my purpose and what I was truly called to do? But here, this person likes to remind me that I'm not good enough. And what about the demons in your own head? Right? Those internal storms that we have to battle every day. So this first anchor, as we descend, we drop down below. And the first anchor is why you lead. And ask that question of yourself. Why do I lead? Why do I do this? Why do I do this? I hate my CEO. Sometimes I dislike my staff. This industry is tumultuous. There's just no telling what's going to happen. My budget's been cut about a few dozen times, and I don't know if I want to be here anymore. So if you're in that predicament right now, this is so important to ask yourself, why am I leading? Why do I lead? Why am I here? And it's okay if you say, this is the company I do not want to continue with. Great, good, okay. Instead of quiet quitting, how about we give them our all until we find another role? But what if this is an organization that you do want to stay with? then you get to change that perspective. Either scenario, you get to change your perspective on why you were called into these roles. I want for you to think about the bigger picture here, the bigger calling, right? Something, someone, an entity, maybe universal energy. I don't know. We can get woo if you want, but maybe it's something so greater than you calling you into this role, right? And maybe you were put in this specific circumstance to overcome either your own internal challenges or support and help systems and other things in your organization that only you can solve for, that only you can transform. Maybe you belong here because you were called by something bigger and greater than your ego. And that's what I mean by anchoring ourselves into our first principle, why I lead, remembering, reminding ourselves why we were called into these roles. And yes, the question will come up, is this worth it? Do I want to keep doing this with these people? Do I want to keep withstanding this storm? And sometimes the answer is, yeah, no, I'm going to have to walk away from this. And that's good. Great. Find awareness. That's the whole point. But what if this reconnects you to this calling in this specific organization at this specific time on your journey? And what could that mean for your growth? What could that mean for your reconnection? What could that mean for you grounding and anchoring yourself into this role in this time space reality? I know for some of you, it's like, listen, I'm barely surviving here. And I just, you know, tell me how to do this, how to do this. And I spent a lot of time in my leadership training and development company telling you how to do things, what strategies, what mindset, what skills, all the inventories that we did. Oh, my goodness. It was you want traditional leadership training and development. I'm not that girl anymore. I'm not doing that. Because I perpetuated the burnout. I perpetuated the high intensity burnout, overwhelm, all the things, all the destruction. I was a part of that system. And I realized for myself that this was not going to be sustainable. Not for me, at least. I was tired of destroying myself and my body. Ooh, my soul was fractured. It was fragmented into a million pieces. I wasn't whole and resourceful anymore. I was barely surviving and barely breathing. I know firsthand what traditional leadership models are doing to people right now because I coach them every day. And my intent in sharing this message framework to descend first and foremost that's you realizing that you deserve better and that you deserve to feel good you deserve to love your work like can you imagine my goodness i deserve to be happy at work i deserve to be treated with respect i deserve i deserve this what i just thought i got what i could get whatever you get whatever i got was whatever i i got You're telling me that I can actually enjoy this and find fulfillment in this? Yes. Yes. See, that's the perspective shift. That's what I'm talking about. You have to descend. You have to distance yourself from all this chaotic emotional storm and crisis and these internal weather systems that we experience every day as leaders. And so the descent is important. The anchoring is even more important. But what's ultimate here is when you ascend back into that boat, fully integrated, whole and resourceful, loving yourself and loving those that you serve and remembering who you are and why you were called into these roles. And knowing that you have a sacred responsibility to move this collective forward. That's the ultimate. And that's the ascent. But we have to anchor first. And this is the first of five principles. So I leave you with obviously the ultimate question that is driving every episode. Can you be an effective leader without sacrificing your soul? And if you're curious about that question, then move into this next question. What called me into leadership in the first place? And spend some time. Do I still remember being this leader? Do I still remember why I became this leader? Do I still remember why I answered this call into this very specific arena? Spend some time contemplating those questions and reflecting on those questions. And if you want to go even deeper, I have a program for you and it's called Anchored. Anchored. This is where you get me in a group setting, my heart, my soul, my brain on yours. And we coach. And we coach on life and leadership, anything that is troubling you, anything that's causing friction in you, whether it's in the workplace, in a nonprofit, in public service, or in your personal life. This is where I coach leaders. So this is a community where you get coaching, you get connection with other incredible leaders and more. Equally important is contemplation rituals. This is the work we do. We dive deep. We go deep. We're not surface level. You want that? Stick with your corporate trainer. You want to go deep? You come to me. This is a whole other way. This is a very different way of looking at leadership. And I am here to support you on your journey. So let's anchor into this first principle together and then meet me inside anchored so that we can continue this work. you so much for your time leader i hope you found today helpful and as always i appreciate you if you want to head over to your favorite podcast platform and leave a review i would really appreciate the support we are um wanting to get in front of as many people as possible through audio. Obviously this is a video podcast show, but those of you who listen to this on audio, it supports the show to move us up in the ranking. And if you leave a review and if you enjoy this podcast, program, this podcast, this series, please write us something. Tell us how you feel about us, good, bad, or indifferent. We appreciate it because it'll move us in rankings up or down, whatever. But just want to ask you for that support. Well, okay. Thank you, leader. I'm wishing you a wonderful rest of your day and I will see you very soon. Take good care. Bye. You came here for a reason and that reason is bigger than you know. If today's episode stirred something in you, that stirring is your assignment calling you back. Don't ignore it. Here's what you can do next. Subscribe, leave a review or share this with a leader who forgot why they said yes. And when you're ready to go deeper, my friend, join me in my program. It's called Anchored. This is where we descend into the five principles that restore your wholeness and return you to your original assignment. The world needs the leader that you were born to be. So head over to my website at drdeniessimpson.com to learn how you can join me inside my program called Anchored. Until next time, take very good care.
