00:08 Hi, I'm Denise Simpson, master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power. So they can lead like visionaries influence with grace and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems, navigating their success in life, business, and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.
00:46 What are you desiring for? What are you longing for right now? My friend. What are you hoping for? What do you feel right now is needed in your life? You're desiring a result. You're desiring a lover. You're desiring an ice cream cone. Like I am right now. I'm having such a strong craving for chocolate dipped, vanilla ice cream cone from dairy queen I'm in Texas. So those things are so delicious and I desire them about once a week, but in all sincerity and seriously, what are you? Desiring? Desire is longing for something. Having a desire for something is because you have not met this thing. You don't have it in your life. You're desiring it. You want to fulfill it. You want to accomplish it. You want to achieve it so that you can not feel that desire anymore. Like, let me tell you something.
01:53 I have desires every day. I have a desire to work out every day. I have a desire to go for a run every day. I desire speaking to my clients. I desire getting new clients. I desire doing marketing for my business. I desire a seven figure business. I desire my lover. I desire a great meal, good quality ingredients. I desire connection with my loved ones. I desire so many things on a daily basis. What are you desiring right now? As you are listening to me, are you desiring to get home in one piece? Because traffic is a nightmare. Are you desiring for your boss to take you seriously? Are you desiring for your lover to pay more attention to you? Are you desiring for your partner, your spouse to take out the trash more often or to do the dishes or to fill in the blank?
02:47 We desire a million things every day. They're small desires and then big desires. And then there's some that are desires that are there, but they're not screaming at you anymore because we've learned how to extinguish them. We've learned to ignore desires. We have learned to turn off the volume of desire for many reasons. You know, some women, some clients have shared with me that their desire for intimacy is so low. Now that they've been in a partnership for many years, they are raising children together. They're full-time employees. So there's a lot going on during the day. And then at night when they are with their children, the last thing they want to do is go into the bedroom and be intimate with each other. They're exhausted and they've trained their brains to turn off the desire in that part of their lives. I also know women who are starting their coaching practices right now.
04:00 They have left corporations. They've left a full career in corporate life to start a coaching or a consulting practice. And they have strong desire for autonomy, for financial freedom, freedom of time, freedom to serve others the way they want to serve others. They've got strong desire to start a business. And once they start their business, the desire starts to diminish because they now see how challenging it is to start a coaching practice. They convinced themselves that it's not worth the journey. All of the discomfort they're feeling all of the pain. They're feeling supersedes the desire for freedom of time, freedom of money. And so desire is what moves us every single day. It's why we go and get our education. It's why we go seek these lovers. It's why we go and do these extraordinary things in our lives because the desire is so strong for that thing or for that person or for that place, or for that destination.
05:16 I bring this up because desire has been something that I have been driven by my whole life. I desired to get out of my hometown because of the interesting childhood I had. I desired to go into leadership because I didn't want to feel like a victim anymore because of what I endured as a child, the abuse that I endured, I thought that if I would leave my hometown and go to college somewhere else and major in leadership, that I would no longer be a victim. And I would have autonomy over my brain and autonomy over others. I had strong desire to evolve and to grow as a person, as a leader and desire has carried me through my career. It has carried me through relationships now in my marriage of 11 years, the desire to have children it later in my life, I desired to, to start the IVF process with my husband.
06:25 I desired to leave academics and start my full time consulting and coaching practice today. My number one desire for my business is a seven figure business. Not because I'm greedy, not because I don't have enough, I have everything I want, but because I want to blow my own mind. That's what I'm desiring for. That's what I'm belonging for every so often, I'm standing at the peak of the mountain. I'm like, okay, this vantage point is interesting. I want to summit that mountain over there now. So how do I get over there? And that's how I've been traveling through my life. Big dreams, big goals, and all driven by desire. So seven figure business is a strong desire I have right now, my, and in my coaching practice, the masters of leadership Institute and another wild desire. Hang onto your seats. My friends, here's another wild one.
07:35 I want to create through masters of leadership Institute. I want to create the number one life coaching and leadership training company for women and their allies in the United States. The number one life coaching leadership training for women and their allies right here in the U S that's a strong desire. It's the biggest desire I've ever created in my life. And the desire is coming from a thought that I'm having. And the thought is I want to empower and share these tools with as many women as possible. I want to serve as many women as I can in my lifetime. That's the thought. And because I'm not doing that yet, the feeling that's coming up for me is longing. Desiring. I'm hoping for, and the actions that I'm taking from this deep desire are coming to you every week with a valuable podcast. I am helping women every single day inside my coaching practice.
08:52 I have a beautiful membership of highly ambitious women leaders through the masters of the leadership membership. I have strong connections with other business women who are doing what they need to do to fulfill their desire of serving other women. These desires motivate action. Sometimes a desire may actually not motivate action because the brain will come in and say, that's too big of a dream. Denise, you're crazy. Number one, life coaching and leadership training company in the world. Yeah. Right? Us, maybe like the brain is aligned liar. It's designed to protect you. It's going to tell you to sit down, to stay quiet. That you're too much, that your desire is too strong. It's going to convince you that you're out of your mind. And this is how we extinguish these desires. We turn down the volume of these desires. We just forget them all together.
10:07 I mean, how many desires have you had that you've put on the shelf? You're like, I'll get to it when I get to it. And then you, you entertain the idea of that desire again. And then you realize it's five years later and then you tell yourself, well, I'm too old to get that MBA. You know, the kids need me right now. Actually. I don't think that's a good idea. And my husband, you know, my partner, he's, you know, he doesn't have a stable job. There's just no way I could fulfill that desire. Forget it. Just, you know what? I'm just going to take it from the shelf and throw it in the trash. Like, I don't even want to look at it. It's so painful to look at this desire that I can not fulfill. How many of you feel this way today? A desire about a lover, maybe the one that got away.
10:54 How about the desire to leave a spouse or a partner you made this decision years ago and you're still longing for that day to happen, but your brain has convinced you that it's safer to stay. The kids need you wait until they turn 18 and then go file for divorce. Don't do anything right now. Hey, you've got desire for learning for growth expansion and that's, what's interesting. Human nature is about growth and expansion. It's about desiring for more. So what are you desiring today? Is it the lover in your bed? Huh? Yeah, I know. Is it starting a family, maybe having your first child or your second or your third or fourth or your fifth, are you desiring an education? Are you desiring the next level of a degree? Are you desiring to be in a better health? Are you desiring to lose those last 20 pounds?
12:01 Are you desiring for committed relationships, more commitment in, in these intimate relationships? Are you looking for quality relationships in your friends and in your extended family members? What are you desiring today? As you listen to me speak when I was entertaining, the idea of getting a PhD after my dual master's, I was thinking about what it could do for my career. How could it elevate my wisdom, my body of knowledge, how would a PhD really help me empower other leaders? And as I was entertaining, these questions, and as my brain was coming up with these thoughts, and one of them was, I want to learn all there is to know about leadership that thought created such strong desire in my body. I felt it in my solar plexus. So sometimes you feel it in your heart. Sometimes you feel it on top of your head.
13:17 For me, it's in my gut. Leadership to me is about empowerment of self and others. And I was driven by that thought. I want to learn all there is to know about leadership. Where could I go do that? And that began the search, the desire, the feeling that came from that thought that I want to learn all there is to know about leadership. The feeling was desire longing for which then influence the actions I took from the feeling of desire and the actions were researching programs. I thought I don't want to do another graduate degree. I want to do a terminal degree this time. Where could I go? Let me first look in my immediate area. Let me look at the universities and programs in my town, in my city. What can I afford? Will I have to take out a student loan? So all of these questions kept coming up, but the desire stayed strong because I flamed that, that fire, I was, I was fanning that fire.
14:26 I wasn't going to put it on the shelf. This was so important to me, that thought create a, such a strong desire in me that I took full action and did not stop until I applied, interviewed, got in and was there my first day of class, I held so strongly on the desire of becoming a PhD in this, in this study, in this field. I, and guess what? Even throughout the entire doctoral journey, I had to keep fanning that flame. Let me tell you, there were moments where I wanted to quit moments. I said, hell no, I can't do this. What was I thinking? The imposter syndrome came in full force. The fraud feelings came in full force. The self doubt, my goodness so much came for me during those years in this doctoral program. But it was up to me and it was my responsibility to go all in and to finish the degree.
15:35 And this is where I needed to manage that desire. I needed to take full responsibility for that desire and fulfilling that desire. And it was a challenge, but I did it. And that's the thing. So many women out here are putting their desires on that shelf. Like I said, because it's a challenge or they start something and they won't finish it because they don't care for that desire. They don't fan the flame. They don't cater to it. They don't protect it. They convince themselves because their brains convinced themselves that it's just too hard. It's not worth it. The juice isn't worth the squeeze as they say. So my hope for our time together is to shake you up a little bit, to get that neurology moving in your brain for you to start asking yourself, what do I desire today? What am I longing for?
16:41 And what do I think it's going to do? What, once I achieve it, how will I feel? What will it bring me? How will it serve me and my community or serve me and my family? How will this elevate my life? How will this make it better? Because the only reason my friends, why we do anything, why we set big goals, why we strive for more is because of the feeling we think we're going to have. Once that goal is achieved. Think about that. We tell ourselves once we get that degree, we're going to feel important. Once we get that degree, we're going to feel significant. Once we get that degree, we're going to make a ton of money. So we delay the gratification. We delay that feeling. So we think it's not until we complete that goal, that we can feel that feeling. I beg to differ.
17:39 I want to feel that today. I want to feel it without the degree. I want to feel it at the start of this journey. And that's where you look at your desire and you remember the desire and how that desire is going to carry you through the journey so that it's, it's less painful. It's less sacrificing. It's less harmful because so many of us high achieving women sacrifice so much to achieve the top of the mountain, right? We summit the mountain. We look back going, wow, that was freaking painful. Holy crap. I had to sacrifice my womanhood. I had to sacrifice my motherhood. I had to sacrifice my happiness for this, screwed that, and screw these desires. I want none of this anymore. That's it? No more desires for me. I'm going to stay right here and enjoy the scene. And that's another reason why we extinguish our desires because we suffer through the journey.
18:38 We suffer all the way to the top of that mountain. And then that's it. We look back and say, hell no, I'm not doing that again. That's it I've reached the pinnacle. No Moss we're done, but I want to play with you today to tap into your desires, go inward, find out what you're longing for. What is it that you want to accomplish? I know my friend that you can achieve it in a very different way, in a way that serves you and serves your purpose and serves your fulfillment and your joy and your mental wellness and, and physical wellbeing. You can have success very differently now because there's a better way. And I can show you that way, but we have to go back and tap into your desire. The desires that have been sitting on the shelf. That's what I want us to look at today.
19:39 And then let's take some action. That's find a way to get to that, that peak of the mountain on your terms fulfilled in love. Enjoy so that when you do get to the top of the mountain, it's a glorious, glorious, vantage point. That's what I want for you. The first things first, my friend, let's dust those desires off that shelf and get back into the feeling of these desires. I want to help you achieve whatever it is, your heart desires. What would you like to complete? What would you like to fulfill? What's next on your agenda. I'm here for you. I'm here to support you. We do this great work together, either through private coaching or inside my monthly membership. So take, take a look around you, dust those desires off and let's get to work. My friend, you deserve it. You deserve to fulfill these desires and make them a reality. And I'm here to support you all the way through it. All right, my friend, thanks for your time today. Hit me up over on IgG at Dr. Denise Simpson. Share with me your desires and be as blunt as explicit, as crazy as you want to be. I'll wait for you over on IgG. I have a great day. Bye for now.
21:18 Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to join me inside my exclusive coaching membership for women in leadership. Just like you. I want to help you become a masterful leader with the help of a community of the most powerful women on this planet. My membership is called masters of leadership. Yes, of course it would be called that. So whether you're a novice or a master, you have to join us. You're going to get the support that you need and deserve inside my membership. So head over to Dr. Denise simpson.com forward slash M O L. That website again is Dr. Denise simpson.com forward slash M O L. You deserve this, my friend. So join us inside. See you soon.