00:08 Hi, I'm Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power. So they can lead like visionaries influence with grace and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems, navigating their success in life, business, and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.
00:46 Hey, welcome back. Happy you're here. My friend, let us talk about permission to disrupt. What does that mean? Permission to disrupt? Why do you need permission? Why am I giving you permission? What are we disrupting today? What's going on? So this idea of permission to disrupt comes from a theory that I created for myself and put into practice with my clients. And it's this idea of challenging your neurology, challenging your belief systems and disrupting them for the sake of forming new belief systems. So many of us don't challenge our beliefs. We don't challenge status quo because, well, we like comfort and we like predictability. We like certainty and status quo is us seeking to preserve the norms we want for the state of affairs to stay consistent. And a lot of us don't disrupt the status quo because well, we fear getting uncomfortable with our feelings.
02:04 We fear that maybe we've been wrong this whole time. We fear that we ultimately don't know who we are because we don't know where their belief systems and, and yours began. So there are many reasons why we don't want to disrupt that. And that's normal. The brain wants to protect us in wants to protect status quo. It wants to keep you from harms way. And the brain is saying, well, if you disrupt your neurology, Denise, a lot can happen. You can lose your family. You can lose your money. You could lose, fill in the blank. And so the brain then creates these stories that I need to stay right here in the cave sheltered. And that I shouldn't question what authority told us to do, what our parents told us to do, what the government has told us to do. So instructing your neurology is really about questioning and challenging.
03:09 Those belief systems, maybe even challenging your programming, your conditioning, your bias, your prejudice, your discriminatory ways. It's really about stopping and thinking to yourself, right? Why did I create this particular result in my life? This result that you've created in your life is causing more harm than good. Then we need to check in on your belief systems because your belief systems are the source of everything that you do. Your belief systems influence your daily thoughts, which would therefore influence your emotion and your email motion therefore creates an action or inaction and your actions or inactions ultimately create a result in your life. So when a client comes to me and says, Denise, I did this in the organization and I'm not proud of it. And I don't know where it came from. I don't know why behave this way. I've, I'm fearing that I'm going to lose my job because of this outbursts or because of the way I behave towards this person.
04:25 And that's where I get to put the mirror up against your brain. And I get to show you, I am the reflector. I reflect back to you what your neurology is telling us based on your behavior or the result you created. And so when a client comes to me because they have positioned themselves in an unfavorable way, or they created something very, very challenging or something very harmful or painful even. And then I go back and say, well, let's start with your neurologist. And many of my clients need the permission to challenge their own minds, right? Again, because the brain wants to protect you. It wants to protect me. It'll come, I'm up with all these stories on why you shouldn't hire a coach on why you shouldn't ask for help. There are so many women out here that are doing it all on their own and to have it someone who is not a sibling, okay?
05:28 Cause I have tons of sisters to have someone who's not a peer or a colleague, but a professional coach showing you why you created what you created in your life and how to take the next single step to change that result. That is a permission that a lot of my clients need, but it starts with you understanding that you have the right to challenge your thoughts to challenge why you created did this particular thing, or why you feel a certain way towards this. You have every right to stop and question, get inquisitive, get curious, start asking yourself these questions, trust your unconscious mind, trust that it will provide you with those answers. You know, something I do at night when I have something pending or I need clarifying, can I ask right before bed? My unconscious mind, this is what I need done. I need clarity on this. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I expect the answer. Thank you so much. Goodnight. And it's as easy as picturing you holding a red balloon and letting it go slowly and trusting that your unconscious mind will present to you the answer in the morning. And I do that. And every morning I have a new perspective. I have a new insight having you answer. I trust me myself, because I have programmed myself to challenge my thinking.
07:15 So when we do re-upped our neuro neurology, again, we're breaking it apart. We're just looking through the weeds. We're looking through the things, how did we get here? How did this happen? You know, something that I, an example I give off is my upbringing in a Mexican family, along the Texas Mexican border, we were low middle class, uh, sometimes poor, um, but depended on what financial situation my dad was in. My mom was a nurse. My dad had many, many weird odd jobs and they begged, they borrowed and they stole to put us through private Catholic school, valued education. So highly, which is something that's really important to me today, obviously. And a value of theirs. It didn't hold in high regard was the value of money. Money is a value. Money is, uh, an ideology, right? It is your belief systems around that, that thing.
08:23 And so they valued education very highly, but they didn't value money. Very highly. They believed that money was really, really hard to get. And that only the lucky few could make a really great living, loving what they did for a living and get paid very well. They believed that they could do what they needed to do to get money. And it was constant arguing about money that I witnessed as a child. There was a lot of interesting behavior around Monday money that I witnessed. And some days mom would take us on a shopping spree and wonder where all this money came from. And then there were times where she couldn't afford to buy us news clothes or new uniforms. It was this on and off switch, and it just depended on their windfall of money. And because of that upbringing at the age of 16, I, he was part of this organization at, in the high school that ran the student store.
09:37 And one of the requirements was to get a part-time job. And I did actually, it was like a really, really part, part, part part-time job. It's like three hours a week or something, but I got one and had my bank account was already driving at the time at 16 kind of driver's license. And I had such strong work ethic because I knew number one, that education was important. So I needed to maintain my grades. And then number two, that me working meant that I would have some responsibilities as an employee and as a full-time student high school student. And then number three, that I would have to spending money. And it was up to me on how I wanted to use it. And so these were the things that I developed around what I saw growing up in regards to money. So slowly I unconsciously, because this was, and on purpose, I was just a teenager doing her thing, but some were somehow unconsciously.
10:39 I was wanting to contradict what they believed about money. I wanted to yes, work really hard, but I wanted to enjoy what I was doing. I wanted to have fun while I was making money. I wanted to, you know, look for a career that would bring such great joy and fulfillment while being financially rewarded. So everything they taught me that money was I unconscious was contradicting. And maybe that's just because I was a teenager. And I was like, yeah, screw that. That's not the life I want. And I'm going to create my, my life with my terms and my beliefs. Right. And so all the actions that I, I took once I left home and went to college was that first of all, work ethic has always been strong. I mean, very strong. I'm willing to work because I love to work because I'm brilliant at it.
11:37 And I know my gifts, but I also want on a work so that I can feel my heart was so much joy and fulfillment while being financially rewarded, which is amazing that I had this career now as a coach and consultant, because I get to do all of this, but it's so interesting that I somehow realized that I didn't want to be like them and found ways to turn my neurology around. And so fast forward to today where money is, is a value. That's very high on my list because I am a business woman. I am an entrepreneur, but I have to tell you something value. The value of money in my particular life is really about the thoughts I have around money. Not those buildings systems or the ideologies that I was raised thinking about. I neutralize this idea of money. It's just a circumstance.
12:45 And it's my thoughts that are creating the results in my life about money in regards to money. So when I look at something neutral, it's, it's factual. It's there. There's money. What are my thoughts about money is money available to everybody is money available to me? Can I earn the money that I believe deserved? Or what are the thoughts that you have around that circumstance? Because here's, what's important that those thoughts or that one thought is going to inspire an emotion. It's going to bring up an emotion. Sure. Emotion that comes up. When you think, for thought that I am deserving of all the money in the world, I get excited. That's the feeling I get. And then the actions that I'm taking from that feeling of excitement is working really hard, right? Doing what I love to do. I'm not to work hard. I'm not afraid to put in effort because of the emotion of excitement that's driving these actions.
14:00 And the result I create, my friend is a seven-figure business. So it's important to, we look at things, places, people nouns as circumstances that are neutral. There's no emotional charge to them until you think a thought about it in there. My friend is where you follow the progression all the way down to the result you create from that particular circumstance. And so when I talk about disrupting your neurology, I'm talking about doing this work, stopping and thinking, what are my thoughts about fill in the blank? What are my thoughts about my body? What are my thoughts about my partner? What are my thoughts about my intimate relationship? What are my thoughts about money? What are my thoughts about my leader?
15:01 I laugh because that's something that a client and I are talking about right now is her thoughts about her leader. Her leader is interesting, has interesting behaviors has created some interesting results for their department. And my client has a lot of thoughts about that. And so what I showed her to do was to neutralize the circumstance of her boss and she having the power to change her thoughts around that circumstance so that she can go to work, feeling ready, eager, excited, engaged, committed, and then her actions will reflect those emotions. Ultimately creating a brand new result for herself. But we had to look at her programming and we had to look at her socialization. How was she socialized to behave as a woman in corporate America? How was she programmed or conditioned or socialized to believe her role as well, leader in her organization. So it's important that we break apart the neurology before we do the nitty gritty work.
16:24 So my friend, if you are needing permission to disrupt your neurology permission, granted not that you need did any it's time that we disrupt the status quo. If status quo is not serving you, if it is okay, keep doing what you're doing, or if you want to up-level your life, then we can still disrupt the neurology so that we can change it so that you can have a better improved result in your life. Or we could do this either way. So it's again, not about being provided. Good. If it's not about being an agitator, it's really about how you can serve yourself better, how you can create the results that you deserve in this side. But it starts with changing the game. It starts with disrupting the neurology. And it, it begins with getting curious about where that belief system came from. Where did that bias come from?
17:25 Was it something I learned from my previous leaders? How were you conditioned to behave? How were you programmed to be treated? Right? There's so many things that we can look at. And my specialty, my friend is women and leadership. So view are a female identifying leader. Then you, my friend should consider doing this work, giving yourself permission to disrupt your neurology. And then you get to play and get to create some amazing things in our lives, because we were able to do that. So disrupting your neurology is what this episode is about. This is why I want to, to prepare for today's episode. So, so well, because this is something that I use personally, and that I have shown my clients how to do. So what I'll leave you with is this. I want for you to check in with your life, check in with the results you've created.
18:29 Is it a result you created or perhaps a behavior that you're demonstrating that you are curious about, maybe inquisitive about, start asking yourself, how did I do this? How did I create this? Was it something I think I learned? Was it something I saw my parents do? Was it something that my grandmother or my aunt or a professor or a teacher told me, this is how a lot of our kids come home from school saying, I suck at math. My teacher told me I need tutoring. Cause I suck at math. And then the stigma stays with them. And this belief system right. Starts wrapping around their neurology and stays with them through college and beyond. I mean, how many girls say this? I, I just suck it math, but I write really well. I hear that often. And I asked them, how did you, how'd you get that?
19:24 How did you learn that from who told you that? Oh, well, my dad did because he tried to help me with math and I just couldn't get oh, so because dad's dead now, now you get to carry this for the rest of your life. Well, you don't anymore. This is the permission you're granting yourself is to disrupt this neurology. So start checking in on your results. What current behavior, what current result that you have created that you want to challenge? And then number two, like I said, I want for you to question those babes question, the, the origins of that programming, where did it come from and check it out also with your feelings about it, your feelings are such a strong indicator on whether that result feels good or doesn't whether that behavior feels good or doesn't check in with a B with your feeling.
20:20 If the feeling is negative or uncomfortable, or they're just not fulfilling, that's a good sign to check in with your belief systems. And then last I want for you to, to ask her, well, what do you want to create instead? What would you want to have instead? How would you want to behave? So write these downloads on a piece of paper and start getting curious, inquisitive. Cause it's time to challenge the status quo. My friend. It's time to stop preserving what is and start changing what it is you want in your life. Start creating what it is you want in your life. So it's worth getting uncomfortable. It's worth doing this work because my friend, you deserve to have the life that you want to create, but it starts with giving yourself permission to disrupt your neurology. All right, my friend, I hope you found today's episode helpful. I'm here to serve you. You know where to reach me on IgG at Dr. Denise Simpson. All right, my friend, I'll catch you on the next show. Take good care of yourself. My friend, give yourself permission to do whatever it is you want. I'm all for it. All right. Talk to you soon. Bye for now.
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