00:08 Hi, I'm Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power. So they can lead like visionaries influence with grace and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems, navigating their success in life, business, and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.
00:47 Welcome back, my friend, what an honor to have you press play. I know you have a million things to do. You're a leader. You are busy. You are probably listening to this episode on your lunch hour. Maybe, maybe on your drive to work, maybe on the way to pick up kids. I don't know what you're doing. Maybe you're getting ready for work. I don't know, but thank you. Thank you for pressing play and choosing yourself first because listen, I bring you everything I can. I'm giving you everything on this podcast. I created it for you for women leaders like us, because I wanted to have something that fueled me. That fired me up. That got me inspired every single week. I wanted something for myself. I couldn't find anything like this out there. Honestly, listen. I'm sure you have some great podcast suggestions, please don't send them to me.
01:42 I really don't care. No offense, but I just don't care. What I want to do is set this platform for us. I wanna set it up for us to come together every week and fire each other up. That's it. I have nothing else to gain here. I don't have sponsors. I don't have like people paying me to like do this every week. No, I'm here to give you everything I've got. And, and listen, I am really wanting inspiration for myself and I write content. I write this podcast episode to fuel me up every week. So whatever is happening in my personal or professional life, I'm sharing it with you. It is my obligation as your coach to share with you the things that I have personally and professionally experienced, I'm never gonna tell you what to do or give you advice that I have never experienced.
02:40 That's not what I I'm about. I'm about telling you like it is telling you the real truth, being transparent and vulnerable at the same time. My gosh, that's like a double whammy, transparency and vulnerability, but listen, I am doing this for us. I want more in positions of power. I want for you to not have to compromise your integrity for a seat at the corporate table. I do not want for another single woman to have to twist herself into a pretzel so that you get to meet somebody else's standards. Um, not under my watch. No. And this podcast was created for you. So let's effing go. all right. Let's talk about who inspires you? Speaking of inspirations influences. I wanna talk about your early childhood influences. There is a study out that talks about the path to leadership begins for women in youth, not when she's in, mid-career not when she's in the C-suite, but the path, the, the predictor of her success or predictor of her in a, in a position of power is determined by her childhood influences.
04:03 Now, listen, I was raised on the Texas Mexican border. You know that we've talked a lot about that. We talk a lot about my subculture, okay. One foot in Mexico, one foot in Texas, but in this very specific region, along the Texas Mexican border. So I'm not here to generalize what every Mexican American went through, because remember, I, I was born in a certain era. I had, you know, certain influences, socioeconomic status and other things that really influenced the way we, we, in my family, we, Mexican Americans really demonstrated our values. So I never wanna generalize that all Latinos are like this and that we're all the same way. No, that would be very, very inaccurate. So I wanna talk about the influences that you had. I wanna just laser focus on your childhood experiences. Because what I learned was was was everything. What I learned was everything from a feminist mother, but here's what was interesting about my mother.
05:11 There was so much contradiction. There was so much hypocrisy. There was the way she wanted us to be raised the way she wanted us to think. But her actions were the complete opposite, how she behaved contradicted, what her words said. So that's where I was left as a child to make sense of it all in my brain. And I knew at a very early age, you're telling me one thing, mom, but you're doing something else. You're telling me that my body is sacred yet you're smoking and you're on every diet and you are, you know, working out, killing yourself over, over your body. So she was telling me one thing, but her actions and behaviors showed me something completely. You know, she told me to go to school, get my education because a man was going to, you know, cheat on me and a woman was gonna take my man.
06:07 And she was gonna try to take my home and the clothes off my back, but she'll never ever be able to take away my brain and the education that I earned now, that, that influenced me to go all the way to the top, to get my PhD. I was not stopping. I was laser focused on, on this value of education because she valued it. But in the way she, she showed me and, and, and she told me about education was do this or else. So she put the fear in me. I was not going along my educational pursuits because, you know, I was, I was joyfully doing this. Oh my gosh, it was, it was so wonderful. The benefits are so great. No, I was doing it at a fear. I'm like, shit, I better do something about this because my man's going to cheat on me and women are gonna come after what I have.
07:02 And, but she can't take my brain. I mean, it was absolutely ridiculous. This is the value. And the belief tied to that value around education. That carried me all the way to top. And guess what? That really screwed with my relationships. It really did. It made me believe that every man out there was going to cheat on me. So here she was doing the best she could. Let me tell you, let's just lay that out. Our parents, our guardians, our leadership examples in our youth, they were doing the best they could with the brain that they had at that time. Right. It's very interesting now to look in hindsight, all the really screwed up things that I saw growing up. And I wonder sometimes how I did not screw up my life . And so I wanna talk about your early influences. Now, if you had a mother or a female mentor or a female, um, church person, um, someone within your network of family and friends, she may have influenced you and inspired you to take this leadership road.
08:20 And so let's go back in time and identify her. Is it your mother? Is it your grandmother? Was it an older sister, maybe an aunt or an older cousin. Like I did. I had an older cousin who I worshiped. I loved her. I hated my sisters, but I loved my older cousin and she loved me back. It was just such a beautiful relationship. And she taught me about kindness and she taught me about compassion and she talked, she taught me about family and really defending the family. And, and it almost like very soprano, like, or maybe even godfather, like don't cross the family. And that was really her value around family. And so I learned that from her. What I learned from my aunts was don't take any shit from anybody. That was awesome. I also learned from another aunt, the work ethic, that's required to be a great leader.
09:15 I saw her rise through the ranks in a government agency, and she was well respected towards the end of her career. I mean, I just, I was at that point in my adulthood where I was able to really understand her power as a leader and throughout my youth, I saw her as the guiding light for her family. Everyone went to her, she was the resource. She was that person that everyone relied on. And that was my dad's sister. I also saw from my mother, some really amazing things. She too was the number one resource for her family, her sisters, her siblings, her family loved her immensely. They looked to her for guidance through the medical system. She was a nurse. So mom knew everybody in the community. Mom knew all the physicians. Mom was someone who was well respected and had so much power out in public.
10:21 But when she would come home, that was a different story. Very, very different story. But what I remember from mom is that she wanted the best for her daughters and loved us immensely. She would've done anything for us. And she did. She really did. She is someone who valued a Catholic education. She and my dad worked very hard to put us through Catholic school. So religion was also a very strong influence in how I viewed women in religion, in this Catholic religion. And I always question that where are all these women? Why aren't they all prostitutes? and why are they all being punished? Like what is happening here? And so that carried me into some very interesting relationships and power dynamics between me and a boyfriend or me and a, and a best friend. And so I took that into my workplace, into my career as a professional young leader.
11:29 And so I have to unravel a lot of things, but most of it, my friend is so positive. It is so good. And I reframed a lot of the, the negative stuff to really serve me because I don't wanna have any regret. And I don't wanna have any resentment towards my mom or towards anyone else in my family who, you know, weren't the best examples for me, right? Again, our parents. And now as an adult, we get to see this right now. As, as, as parents, we get to see that we don't know everything and we're not perfect and we're doing the best we can with the brains that we have. And so that's what really, really gets me to understand my mom and what she was going through and her own limiting beliefs and her own vices and her and, and her own, you know, self-criticism and, and so many other things that she dealt with.
12:27 And so I want to really take the time today to honor those early childhood influences. And, and if you didn't have a great upbringing, let's reframe some of those events, some of those values or beliefs that you learned, why don't we reframe them now because we have the power we always have, but now we get to be conscious of what we wanna take into our leadership and how do we, because of our influences and because of the reframes that we, that we're doing together, how are we going to show up today as leaders so that we do inspire others. Other men, women, humans, out here who are looking to be led. They're looking for leaders who are confident, who are certain who are compassionate. I mean, if we wanna sum up leadership in these three, these three emotions that we wanna feel so that we can inspire someone else to feel it is confidence, certainty, and compassion.
13:31 Those are three things that I want for you to feel every day. Because as you feel this way, you then get to influence and inspire your followers, your family members, your children, your communities, your nonprofit organizations, your shareholders, your constituents, they all want an authentic leader who doesn't come to the, the role as a perfect person, but someone who is transparent and vulnerable, like we are, we're being today together. And someone who evokes certainty, confidence and compassion within them. I mean, that's ultimately what I want as a leader. I want to watch my leader, whether it's the president of the United States or the president of my, my nonprofit or the president, I'm an association that I'm a part of. I want to stand in their energy and as they speak and as they behave and as they act, they come from this energy of certainty.
14:40 They're certain in who they are. They know they are resourceful. They know that they can get the job done. They know that they bet on themselves every single time. And when you have that energy of certainty, right? The belief, the belief, energy of certainty, you show up confident, right? I mean, you show up a totally different human being. And I think that's, you know what I saw with my mom in public, she was certain and she was confident and she was compassionate. And at home, she was a different woman, completely different woman. And so I want for you to think of those three things, certainty, confidence, and compassion, right? Having compassion for your followers, humanizing this field of leadership, not treating your, your followers or your children or your community members or constituents like robots. No, no. We all have our own human minds that are filled and riddled with doubt and self-criticism and self sabotage. We are running sometimes on fear and anxiety. And a lot of us are depressed. A lot of us don't have the tools to manage our thoughts, to manage and regulate our emotions. A lot of us out here are doing the best we can. And so I want for you to have compassion for your people and see them in this way.
16:13 So three things, my friend, again, certainty, confidence and compassion. That's how you will influence others. Your childhood influences have so much to do with who you are as an adult today. You're conscious. Now my friend, so what we can do is reframe and retell a story that now suits us as adults. That gives us the power back. We're not children anymore. We're grown ass women who are powerful, and we have the capacity to serve and influence and inspire others. So now my friend, you get to step into this new identity today so that we can create more leaders, more women leaders who are ready to step into positions of power, who are ready to start the movement. They're ready to take that next step to whatever their destiny is.
17:13 It's time that we take responsibility for what we're creating and what we wanna create are more leaders, better leaders, leaders that are better than us leaders who are more compassionate, who are more certain who are more confident than us. That's all we want. And it is now our duty and responsibility to do that. All right, my friend. So let's wrap up our time together here. I just want for you to take the next five minutes to consciously think of your childhood influences. Again, this study really shows that the trajectory of a woman in leadership starts in her youth, in her childhood. It's not, mid-career, it's not as an aspiring leader. It's not when she's in the C-suite, it is very, very early on. And for those of us who have children and want them to be powerful leaders, maybe even more confident, more, certain, more compassionate than us. And we need to consciously begin to develop that in our children.
18:23 So if you don't have kiddos, I want for you to think about mentoring, a young person on their way in, in elementary, in middle school, in high school, if you are a part of a network or an association that that provides mentorship opportunities, go do that, seek to help someone else on their journey because leadership begins in childhood. That's what the study wrote about. And I'm really excited to talk about it because I've always spent a great deal of time. Reframing a lot of my youth, really looking at the positive things that I have taken on. And as, as an adult and the things that didn't serve me that are now serving me, because I have the power to reframe these things. And that's what you get to do today to my friend. All right. I hope you found today's episode so helpful. It's so good to share these insights. These studies, these findings that I have, you know, I read up on and know that this is the podcast for you. Dear leader, I'm here for you. I wanna give you my all. And I also wanna hear back from you, go over to my IG account. Let me know who you are. Tell me you, you heard this episode and who your childhood early influencers were wanna hear from you, my friend. All right. I'm wishing you a fantastic rest of your week and I'll catch you on our next episode. Take good care.
20:03 Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast, you have to join me inside my exclusive coaching membership for women in leadership. Just like you. I wanna help you become a masterful leader with the help of a community of the most powerful women on this planet. My membership is called masters of leadership. Yes, of course it would be called that . So whether you're a novice or a master, you have to join us. You're gonna get the support that you need and deserve inside my membership. So head over to Dr. Denise simpson.com/m O L. That website again is Dr. Denise simpson.com/m O L. You deserve this, my friend. So join us inside. See you soon.