00:08 Hi, I'm Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power. So they can lead like visionaries influence with grace and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems, navigating their success in life, business, and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.
00:46 Hey, what's happening leader? Glad you're here because I have a very special topic. I wanna talk to you about let's first start with the emotion of certainty. What does that feel like to you? When you think of certainty? Do you think of something or someone who's reliable, dependable, maybe in indisputable, cuz it is certain it's a matter of fact, it's inevitable. This emotion certainty lands right in my belly, right in my solar plexes. It's a very strong emotion that I get to conjure up. I get to manufacture that in my own brain that then gets distributed down into my body. Certainty is a skill as well as an emotion that I help my female leaders really truly develop. What does certainty feel like in their bodies? Because usually when you come to coaching, you're uncertain of your abilities to lead. You are uncertain that you have the skillset to impact your employees.
02:04 You are uncertain of your confidence. You are wanting to find certainty in something or someone. This is why we turn to controlling people and circumstances because if we can control them, that's definite right? That is dependable, reliable. They're gonna come through because I have controlled them. I have manipulated them. And so I'm certain I'm gonna get the result I want because I did all this ahead of time. That's not the right attitude to have. Cuz first of all, we can't control anybody. We only have the power to control ourselves. What we do have is the influence. We can influence others, but ultimately it's, it's up to them. Whether they take the action or the behavior that you want to inspire within them or influence within them. So if we have control of ourselves, which again, that's all we have control over. Why not then find a way to conjure up this emotion of certainty from the beliefs that we're going to create together today, we're going to create beliefs that we can practice, which let me back up a little bit, a thought that you keep thinking about turns into a belief.
03:26 So we're gonna choose some thoughts that we wanna think about every day. We wanna practice them into our neurology. We wanna embed them. We wanna feel our way into those thoughts so that they can become a belief. And this is what I help my leaders do because we want to be certain in our abilities to lead. We may not be able to control our employees, but dang it. We can control ourselves. And this is one way we can create certainty within our leadership practice. And so certainty for me, like I said, it's an emotion. It, I feel it right in my solar plexus. It's power. Let me tell you my friend when I have my own back and I am certain that I will always have my back no matter what happens, no matter if I screw something up in the business, no matter if I fail at serving a client, no matter if I don't get a six figure contract with an organization, no matter what I do, I will always have my back.
04:32 I am certain of that. That is indisputable that I can depend on to always have my back. That's the certainty that I want you to have going into today's show. What can I do to create certainty in my, myself and in my ability to lead my life and my employees. So certainty is an emotion. So when you think of the word, certain or certainty, what comes up for you? Is it a person place or thing? Was it a childhood role model? Perhaps your dad, your mom, they were certain, you were certain that they were gonna be reliable and dependable or did you not have that certainty? Did you have a school teacher who you could depend on? You were certain that she or he would be there for you to support you? Are you certain in your religion or your faith that your religion or faith will always have your back?
05:34 Are you certain of that? What comes up for you when you think of certainty and where do you feel it in your body? Where exactly do you feel it? Do you feel it in your chest, in your heart center, maybe your throat, maybe your belly, maybe your shoulders, your arms, what comes up for you when you think of the word certainty, who do you think of? Is it a person place or thing and where do you feel it in your body? If this is important, emotions are felt in the body. A lot of us logical rational leaders think that an emotion comes really in the mind that we feel it in the mind. No, it's our brain processing where what, what the emotion is, it's, it's defining it. It's it's labeling what that emotion is. But we are so disconnected from our bodies that we don't feel it in our bodies.
06:30 And an emotion is really a physiological response to all the neurochemicals that are happening in the brain. When a thought is produced. And by the way, we use emotion and feelings, interchangeably here, feelings are, are the actual byproduct of the physiological response of the emotion. It feels it, you feel it somewhere in your body, but the disconnection, my friend is a whole other story that we need to talk about. But for now I want for you to start playing with this emotion of certainty and what can you be certain of every day? Are you certain that you're gonna have that cup of coffee every morning? Are you certain that the road is gonna be the same every day as you travel to work? Are you certain that your partner, spouse, husband, lover, wife will be there to make dinner when you come home? Are you certain that your children are on track emotionally?
07:33 Well now let's turn to your leadership practice. Are you certain that you have the tools, the skillset, the mindset to lead and develop a high performing team? Are you certain that you can resolve any problem, any challenge or circumstance that comes your way in the organization? Are you certain of your ability to solve anything? Are you certain that you are resourceful in your AB ability to find a solution to a problem, right? What are you certain of this is what's important to understand is that our thoughts, again, a thought that you think about over and over again, becomes a believe. This one thought is the thought that is going to manufacture and generate the feeling of certainty. So choose your thoughts wisely. So take this moment and choose a thought that will serve you and conjures up an emotion of certainty in your body for me is I can do hard stuff.
08:46 Another thought is I have my own back. Another thought that I use often I am resourceful in finding solutions to my client's problems. These are thoughts that I practice every day. They're at the forefront of my prefrontal cortex. I'm not letting these die. These are handwritten. I have 'em on post-it notes. I have 'em in my handwritten calendar because I still have, you know, my, my Google calendar, but I also have a paper calendar and I make sure everywhere I can. I'm writing these thoughts that I am creating into beliefs in my neurology. This is intentional work. My friend, we don't leave leadership to chance. We don't let our unconscious mind take over. When most of what's in the unconscious mind is a lot of bias. A lot of limiting beliefs, a lot of really interesting things that we don't wanna take into our leadership practice.
09:47 So what do I do? I get intentional and I get purposeful. And these are the thoughts that I turn into beliefs. And now they're part of who I am. They are part of my identity as a leader. And every time I think these thoughts certainty, settles into my body and I walk taller, I speak clearly I am ready to serve. And so when you then feel certainty, the actions that you take are that of influence that, of inspiration, that of providing clarity and insight. That's where you then get to truly influence your employees. When you have that emotion of certainty leading your day, your actions will correlate to your emotion of certainty. And that thought that you keep practicing. That is now turning into a belief. So this is what I want for you to intentionally do every day, pick a thought that we're going to work on for the next 30 days.
10:54 That's a thought we're going to think about every day for the next 30 days. And that thought needs to match the emotion of certainty. It has to be a, it has to be that emotion. It can't be anything else. It has to be certain and wherever you feel it in your body, you're just gonna practice it. That's all. And watch how your actions unconsciously. Because at this point it's turning into a belief unconsciously. You're going to act from this emotion of certainty and that my friend is influence. Certainty is influence. When you take action from an emotion like this, your influence upon your employees is infectious. It'll spread like wildfire. This is what we want. We want for our employees to trust us, to believe in us, to have confidence in us. We want for them to be certain of us. We want for them to think of us as reliable and dependable and trustworthy.
11:55 That's what we want to create because this is how we motivate and influence and inspire our employees to take action and to take massive action. Cuz if they don't believe that you are certain in your ability to lead and serve them, they will not respond to your leadership. They will not take you or your direction. Seriously. I've seen this time and time again, where the employees take over the asylum. Really it's like the it's like the inmates taking over the asylum and they overturn the leader. They undermine the leader. They disrespect the leader. They talk badly about the leader behind their backs. They are reporting the leader to HR or maybe even to other employees and other divisions who are then telling their directors or leaders. And so it is very interesting to see how this happens because when people gather together, when they get together and they have a cause and it's driven by hatred or anger or whatever, they're driven by, they then turn on whoever's at the helm.
13:08 And that comes from employees, not believing in their leaders, in the capabilities of their leader. So this all comes from you, feeling certain in your abilities to lead and to serve. It's the most powerful emotion that a leader can manufacture for herself. So certainty is what I want for you to practice, but it starts again with your thoughts. So choose a few thoughts that feel really good, that feel like they are direct directly aligned to the emotion of certainty. Make sure that those two things match. And I want for you to start practicing those thoughts. And then I want for you to start acting from certainty. However, you're confident where you're self-assured because you're reliable because you are dependable because you have your own back because you are resourceful because you will do everything. You can to find a solution to any problem that your team is facing.
14:07 That's certainty my friend and all it takes. My friend is really developing this mindset. Then the skills will come from that. But the mindset is primary. This is the, the precursor. It's the predecessor to building skill set. What's the point of building skill set. If you don't even believe in it, you don't believe in yourself and you don't believe that you can, you know, achieve these skills or that you can implement these skills. Mindset comes first. And that's where we're practicing today. The mindset, because when you have that emotion of certainty, you're gonna go and enlist in leadership training. You're gonna go and hire a coach. You're gonna go and talk to your employer and say, I need professional development. And here's why I'm certain I need this. And then you are able to articulate all the reasons why you deserve this and you need this for your role.
15:04 This is what I want for you to do is get the mindset ready because the skills will follow. And when the skills follow, your actions are effortless. And when your actions are effortless, your results are guaranteed. You see the trajectory here, you see how important it is to focus on the mindset. Before you even lift a finger in developing a skill. The mindset is the most important factor here. And that's what you're gonna do for the next 30 days, because certainty is the emotion of influence. Certainty is influence. When you are certain in your abilities to do anything and create anything for yourself, trust me, people will watch and people will listen and people will be influenced and inspired by you to take massive action. That's what we wanna do inside our leadership practices, but it begins with you and my friend, the mindset. Okay? So let's go put this into practice today and reach out over on IG. I am on Instagram at Dr. Denise Simpson, DM me, let me know what you're working on today and what thought is going to serve you best? And this is the thought we're gonna create into a belief, but we have to do that on a daily basis. And you are committed to the next 30 days to do that. All right, I look forward to hearing from you and I wish you a fantastic week ahead and I'll catch you on the next episode. Good.
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