00:08 Hi, I'm Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power. So they can lead like visionaries influence with grace and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems, navigating their success in life, business, and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.00:47 Good day, my friend, how are you leader? I hope you are fantastic. I am coming to you from the great state of Florida. I am doing a quick turnaround here for a workshop that I'm giving to a very important company and their workforce, and we are breaking for the rest of the day. And so I'm in my hotel room and I am ready to do this podcast episode for you. Now, if I sound congested, it is because I am, there are some interesting things in the air here in Florida. I don't know if it's the ocean, the water, certainly not its people. They're amazing. But this morning I woke up with lots of allergies and a ton of interesting things anyway, enough about that. I want to talk to you about leading from the heart, leading from the heart.02:02 So for those of you rolling your eyes at me, I get it. What do you mean Denise? You want me to lead from my heart? You've been telling me that I mislead from mindset, a skill and, and from actions and behaviors and masterful leaders. What do you mean? I mislead from the heart now. It's not that you have to lead from the heart now, it's that I want for you to remember recall in your mind's eye. The moment when you realized you were anointed with this seed that was planted in your heart, either by God, by the universe, by universal spirit, by the divine, feminine, by whatever you want to fill in the blank with. I want for you to remember that moment. It could have been a fleeting moment. Like you witnessing an injustice in our government. It could have been a fleeting moment in your organization. As you witnessed something inappropriate from your leader, it could have been something so fleeting, like watching media coverage on an organization who did unethical practices.03:39 It could have been a fleeting moment, or it could have been like the comment landing on your heart, right? Like a comment landing on your body, where it shook you to the core. Perhaps it was something so dramatic as that. Sometimes you have to stop and think about why you were called to lead and to serve. Going back to those moments could have been multiple experiences for me. They were multiple experiences. I can tell you from the time I was 16 years old, the time that I was running the students store or that I was working at Montgomery ward on as a part-time tire center associate all the moments during that season of my life. I was a young girl. I was a sponge. I was learning so much. I was absorbing so much. And technically the brain is at a point of its development where you are highly influenced by your peers.04:48 And there were things that I witnessed in the professional setting. They were things that I heard a, a man tell a woman in appropriate things that a man would tell a woman sexual advances from a, an adult to a child. I was a child at 16. I experienced so much in the professional setting at 16 years old. And there were so many instances. It, it wasn't just one fleeting moment. It was many fleeting moments that led me to the realization that I wanted to serve women and their allies. I wanted to use all of my knowledge, all of my resources, everything that I know that we can control as women leaders, everything that we can use in our power so that we can stand in our authority. I didn't realize that until many decades later. So at 16, starting my professional life, there were so many experiences that I didn't know was right or wrong.06:03 I just knew they happened. And it wasn't until I had formal education that I realized these were inappropriate things. These were things that were unethical. These were things that question integrity. These were things that, uh, had people sacrificing their values. So there were behaviors that were neutral to me. I just thought there were part of the process until I learned otherwise. But for you, my friend, I want for you to go back to the moment or moments where you can now look back and say, of course, I was called to lead and to serve, of course I had to have experienced that so that I can do what I'm doing today. Of course.07:09 So it's time for us to get conscious of why we are leading, why we are the anointed. And for those of you who are thinking of this word, anointed, as you know, disgraceful or not usable in this context, I beg to differ leadership. My friend is a privilege. Please don't ever forget that statement. Leadership is a privilege. And if you have been privileged, as in, you have been chosen to lead and to serve others, then my friend, it is your duty to do this thought, work. This heart work, the practical work that we do together here on this podcast and inside masters of leadership. This is a privilege that just a few of us get. This is not for the masses. I'm not talking to anybody who has identified themselves as a leader. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm talking to the women who have been called to lead and to serve, and they wanna do it so very, very well because they know that they're constituents, that they're stakeholders, that their employees, that their community members, that their family members, their children deserve a leader who is thoughtful, a leader who is mindful a leader who loves a leader who comes to every context, every situation, every circumstance with love, love for herself first and foremost, so that she can love others so that she can see past the imperfections of others so that she can see past judgment of others so that she can see past the humanness that we are.09:18 This is what I mean by leading from the heart, coming back to that place, the origin place, right? The place where it all began, which is a memory which are memories could be plural, right? Cuz these are memories that you have of experiences that you had on your journey, on your path to leadership. So let's go back to those moments and it's not it. First of all, this shouldn't feel dreadful. I know there's there's moments in my experience where I don't wanna go back to, I feel so much dread really that's the best emotion I can describe is going back to those emotions and feeling dread because I couldn't do anything about it. Knowing what I know now and looking back really gets me upset sometimes. And I tell myself, I shouldn't have done that. I should have said something I should have spoken up.10:23 I should have, I could have, I must have. Why didn't I? And then the judgment comes in. The shame spiral comes in and it's all self shame that we inflict on ourselves when we look to the past sometimes. And so I wanna prepare you for this exercise. I want for you to really take a spectator approach here, an impartial spectator approach, impartial, meaning you have no emotional interest in it. You are neutralizing this memory for yourself so that you can fly high above it. And it's, you're detached from it. You're not disassociated from it cuz you know it happened. You're just detaching yourself in that moment. As you are recalling that memory that will protect you from going into some kind of shame spiral or trauma spiral. It's important that you understand that we do this very carefully because we don't want to relive or, or enter back into these memories where the same emotions flooded you back then. I don't want for us to trigger or activate anything in your nervous system that you haven't been able to clear out for yourself. So be cautious with this one for you to fly high above that circumstance or that situation. And I want for you to tell yourself, I'm detaching from this memory.12:04 I'm only doing this exercise so that I can go back to the moment or moment where I didn't quite realize I was unconscious at that time. But conscious now to know that that's when I answered the call, when that person did what that person did to me in the office, that was the moment where the seed was planted on my heart, on my heart, on an organ in my body that I possess this heart keeps me alive. This heart that pumps blood and neurochemicals and all the other nutrients that are needed for other organs to function in my body. I want for you to see that this heart that you own has been preparing itself for that moment. It had been preparing itself for that experience that I had so that the soil was fertile. The land was tilled. It was now ready to receive that experience in the form of a seed.13:36 And that seed is now blossoming into this full grown passion, to lead, to serve, to keep answering this call, to keep positioning myself in places where I do have power and authority, where I am able to now speak for myself and others, should they need me to speak on their behalf, but I am prepared. I have positioned myself to be able to lead masterfully, mindfully, thoughtfully, and lovingly. I'm here to do the work. I'm here to do this work. That's a privilege because I've answered this call and it was in those moments that I look back on for the purpose of appreciating, for the purpose of gratitude, for the purpose of thanking giving. Thanks to that situation because I am here today. Now making an impact, making a change, answering this call day after day, doing the work that needs to be done so that I can lead masterfully.15:11 This is how you lead from the heart. My friend, this is how we go back in time. And we say, thanks to those situations. We give thanks to those situations. We're not calling out people. We're not going back to how we were per perpetrated or how we were violated. We're not doing that. We're just flying above the situation. 30,000 feet up in the air, looking down on that moment or moments where those seeds were planted in your heart, the heart, the organ, the organ that keeps other organs alive in your body keeps you alive and thriving. You never have to think about your heart doing its job. So this is a moment where we get to be conscious of what was planted on your heart. And it was a seed and it was a seed and we were unconscious of it at that time. But we are conscious of it now today and moving forward.16:25 So when you lead from the heart, you're not leading from the mind. It's important that we study leadership. We, we master the craft most definitely, but we do that in conjunction with the heart. These are two organs that you possess. These are two of the most important leadership tools in your possession. And this is an opportunity for you to develop both the mind, which is what we do inside masters of leadership and the heart, why we are called to lead and to serve. Why was I called to lead into serve? And my sisters weren't right? Of course they lead their families. They lead in the way that they know how to lead, but they're not in this industry or in this profession or in this field to lead constituents, to lead stakeholders, to lead employees, you, you were called to do it all. You were called to do it all. Am I setting you apart from the rest? Most definitely because of the privilege that has been bestowed upon you, because you have answered the call.17:52 I want for you to take the next few minutes before you do anything else to just go back into your timeline, go back into a memory to whether it is a positive memory or negative. I want for you to do that 30,000 foot view exercise. I really want for you to do that the next few minutes. And I want for you to finally give yourself, thanks. Maybe there's some forgiveness that needs to be had. Maybe there's, there's some grace that you need to give yourself. Maybe this is an opportunity for you to close the loop on something, close the chapter on something, something that you wish you would've said or have done. And you're able to close that today and have grace and reverence for you being a human, doing the best that you could at that time. But you're here now, my friend, you know too much, we can't go back, you know, too much.19:04 All right. I want for you to remember why you were called to lead and to serve. Go back into the heart center, go back into this beautiful organ that keeps you alive and thriving that pumps this circulatory system and all of its nutrients and blood and neurochemicals into the rest of your body. I want for you to remember that your organ, this organ, this most powerful organ, it's one of the most important leadership tools in your possession. This is where we answered the call to lead and to serve. Let's go back there and let's just see, let's just see the trajectory of your day. When you go back into your heart center and give it so much love and grace for yourself, for the participants of that memory, for the experience of that memory and move forward, powerfully leading your constituents, your employees, your stakeholders, going back into the, the organization today, maybe with a different lens, maybe with a different perspective, maybe now with compassion, maybe now with some love, love for yourself, love for others.20:19 Being humans love for, for them, for, for, for them answering their call to work for you to work under your leadership. This is a powerful exercise. And I don't want for you to bypass this because we're talking about the heart. We'll have so much more. My friend on this topic, we wanna balance out these two organs. We spend about 90% leading from the brain from the mind, from the wisdom, from the learnings, from the skills from the mastery, but let's not neglect the heart. That's right. Many of us neglect leading from the heart because there's a shield. There's a barrier there's armor protecting our emotions. And my plea to you is to go back and remember why you're here so that you can lead from a different approach today. Lead from compassion, lead from love, lead from sympathy, lead lead from understanding another human on their human journey.21:28 This is what I implore you to do today. My friend, and watch just watch how this new perspective is going to change how you impact your followers today. Just watch this is, this is an experiment and I want for you to go into this with that experiment viewpoint so that you could see truly what your employees are needing at this time. It's important to distinguish when it's time to lead from the brain and when it's time to lead from the heart to many of us out here suffering, and we're needing leaders who are compassionate, who understand our human journeys and you, my friend, you are the person to do that. All right leader, have a wonderful day, wonderful rest of your week. And I will catch you on our next episode. Good care. Hey leader, do you want weekly leadership tips, coaching and training straight to your email inbox? Yeah, I thought so. Head over to Dr. Denise simpson.com/leadership. Again, that's Dr. Denise simpson.com/leadership. Just submit your name and your email address and we'll get started right away. I look forward to serving you inside your email inbox. See you soon.
