00:08 Hi, I'm Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power so they can lead like visionaries, influence with grace, and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems navigating their success in life, business and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.00:47 Mindset is everything. So think about the last time you had doubts about your ability to lead. Doubts that look like I am not enough, or I am not the leader they expected, or, I'm not gonna make it here, or I don't belong in the room. So these doubts of your worth of the value you bring to the organization are creating interesting results in your leadership practice. Your mindset is everything. And this is why I say that 70% of your leadership comes from a foundation of a strong mindset. A mindset of belief, belief in yourself, a mindset of belief in your employees, a mindset of belief in your ability to serve them at the highest capacity. Your mindset looks like a belief in you being resourceful and being certain in your ability to solve any problem. Mindset is everything. Something I heard recently is that you turn your thoughts into things or the results you've create in your life are a direct correlation to the beliefs that you have.02:15 So I talk a lot about this linear progression of when you think a thought, what creates a feeling that then creates actions, right? When you feel excited, when you feel empowered, you take very different actions than you would when you feel somber, when you feel grief, when you feel sad, or when you feel doubtful, right? So we're looking at how these feelings influence your actions. And sometimes when I feel a negative thought, the actions I take revolve around food. I have been an emotional eater most of my life. And so I've created very interesting habits in my brain that when I think a negative emotion, I go straight to the pantry, I go straight to the refrigerator, and I look for something to soothe that emotion by putting something in my mouth that then creates dopamine in my brain that then eases the emotion of whatever was there before.03:16 And so it just masks that negative emotion. And I created these habits in my brain and in my body to expect soothing with food. Anytime I feel something negative. So, but when I feel something positive, I'm taking a very different set of actions. Like when I created a habit of physical activity in hiring my personal trainer, the mindset work that I had to do was, do I believe in this new identity that I want to create for myself? And at that time, that identity was so far off that I, I couldn't believe it yet. There was no way I could believe it yet. But what I did was I took time every day to do a thought download that helped me create very, very specific beliefs about the journey I was on at that particular time. And so in the beginning, it looked like I could be somebody who has an identity of an athlete.04:19 I could be, why not. Another one was, I'm working towards a healthier body. I'm working towards finding a personal trainer. And then it turned into I am someone who's working with a personal trainer. And I had to create very intentional beliefs on my journey. Because if you think too far into the future and you're looking at a belief that you wanna create and it doesn't resonate in your body, your brain is going to reject it. It's going to say, Yep, that's right, Denise, you suck. That's just never gonna happen. Look at you. You've been overweight all your life. You've used food to, to, you know, suppress your negative emotions. There's just no way you could ever be an athlete. Athletes don't do that. So if I spent too much time into that future identity, I sometimes shot myself in the foot. I was sabotaging myself.05:16 So what I had to do was keep that vision of the future of the future athlete that I was, you know, working my way into, I had that vision there. I held it strongly, but I knew because of how the brain works, that I was going to need some individual present moment, time to do some mental mindset work. And that looked like me jotting down any negative thoughts that created negative emotions come up, that I had to, you know, look at different ways of creating a healthy habit around my current mindset, right? Because I wasn't the the athlete yet. I was holding the vision of it, but I knew that I needed to bridge the gap from where I was right here, right now to the future identity of an athlete. And so when I say mindset is everything, it is everything. My friend, your mindset about your capacity to lead is everything.06:18 Your mindset about the mother that you are, the kind of mother that you are, the mindset you have about the lover you are, or the lover you share the bed with, right? Or the partner that you have, the mindset, the beliefs you have about this person. You're sharing this life with your mindset or beliefs around your children, right? The mindset you have about your body. We're always looking at how we think in relationship to others, right? What's the mindset we have in regards to our employees? What do we think about them? What do we wanna believe about them? And so when I say mindset is everything, this is what we really focus on in my leadership practice with any client that I work with, because I strongly believe that 70% of your leadership practice is mindset. Because when you go try to implement a strategy, when you go try to use one of your skills, and the result you create is failure.07:16 And I'm using ear quotes right here, or ear, ear marks, , air quotes in failure, because failure's just feedback for me. But a lot of you think of failure as the end of everything. It's like, it's the end of the world. It is, you know, what's the point of continuing? It's just not worth it. And so for those of you who are looking at the results in your life as failure, well that's your mindset. Your mindset of that's it. Why bother? Well, what if you just reframed that word failure and make it mean feedback? It's just feedback. It's just feedback for my journey, that's all it is. I'm taking the feedback back into my brain and I'm reevaluating some things. And that's what I had to do, is I was creating this new habit of, um, of the mindset of an athlete, the identity of an athlete.08:08 And so I had to look at all that feedback that for someone looked like failure, but for me it was just feedback. Like, Okay, gotta work on my nutrition for sure. Or, okay, I, you know, I like to bitch and wine when there's a new cycle coming up because my personal trainer has me on a cycle for six weeks. And then we start a new cycle with new workouts. And so my brain at first used to go into spin, it would overwhelm. Like, Nope, can't do it. It's too hard. You have me working new muscles. I've never worked before. What are you talking about? This is crazy. No, no, no. Get me back to the last cycle. And my personal trainer's like, No, we're moving forward, then you're gonna need to take your brain with you. And that was very helpful because I was reminded with that feedback that I do this pattern.08:55 It's something I do every time. We're starting a new cycle. And so I started to work on that, knowing that the cycle was gonna end, and I knew one was going to begin. I, I was prepared, I was prepared for my brain to go into all kinds of spin, all kinds of overwhelm. I would tell myself, You can't do this. This is ridiculous. And, and I have to be honest with you, even, even today, like I started a brand new cycle this week and I remembered, you know, going, leaving the house and I knew it was gonna start. I'm like, It's a brand new cycle. I'm just gonna go. I'm not even gonna see ahead of time. I'm just gonna get there. And then I'm gonna be surprised and I'm gonna get excited about the new cycle and he's gonna be there. So he's gonna walk me through the posture, He's gonna walk me through, you know, the alignment in my body and make sure I'm doing this correctly.09:39 He's gonna be there. So that's it. I'll leave it to him to answer any questions that I have. And so I had such a smooth day today because he was there. I had already prepared myself that he was gonna be there. And because I know how my brain likes to go into some interesting stories about I'm not capable of doing this. Who do I think I am? I'm not an athlete. Are you kidding me? You just started this a few years ago. All these athletes in this gym, they've been doing this for decades. You've just been doing this for a few years. So I know my brain, I'm onto my brain. I'm so, I'm highly self-aware of my conditions and my patterns. And so I prepare myself with mindset for everything. Even when I'm about to go meet my client, even when I'm about to get on Zoom with a client, I'm always preparing in advance.10:26 I get into a strong energetic level of certainty that I may not be able to answer her her question. I may not be able to help her solve her problem right then and there, but I am certain that I'm gonna bring value. I'm certain that I'm gonna give her everything I've got that I have control over. I'm certain of that. And so I do the mindset work before I walk into any room, any situation. If I'm pitching a six figure contract to a CEO and his or her organization, I am prepared, mentally prepared because I know that mindset is everything. Because if I fail, quote unquote fail in that a CEO rejects my offer to help his leaders, I know he's not rejecting me as a human, as a person with inherent value. He's rejecting himself and his leaders of my invaluable services, the transformations that he was about to get from my services, he's rejecting himself.11:35 You see the shift in the mindset there. So instead of wallowing and driving home in pity and self doubt that he did not take me up on my offer, I just go, Wow, what a loss for him. And then I also think, well, what could, could I have said differently? So let me take some ownership here, but nothing to do with my self value or my self worth as a human. No, no, no. What could I have done differently? How could I have made him more compelling for him so that when I pitch to him again, cuz I will, or when I pitch to another person, because I certainly will, I'll know exactly what to say. Maybe there's a tweak that I can do. Maybe there's something else I can add. Maybe there's something else that they want. I'm gonna take their feedback on why they declined my offer and I'm gonna work it into my next offer.12:27 So you see how powerful that mindset is, right? So that's what I want for you to think about as you're moving through your day today. Mindset is everything. And I want for you to write that down somewhere. Put it on a post-it note, put it in your calendar, in your planner. And I want for you to write that down. Mindset is everything. And if something comes up, you read that Post-it note. Well, my if mindset is everything and I just had a very difficult conversation with an employee, what do I wanna think about this conversation that just occurred? What do I wanna think about this employee? What can I do to also have agency over what I could have done differently or what I will do differently next time? Right? What could I have said differently to have made the conversation smoother? Right? So it's, it's really about looking at the situation from a 30,000 foot view.13:23 Yeah. Like an impartial spectator. What does that even mean? Impartial. You are not partial to any side. You're removing yourself emotion, your bias, you're moving all that negativity away from yourself. That's why I say 30,000 foot few, because you're looking up from the air down below into the, the room that you were in with your employee. It's a very interesting visualization process that you can start doing today where you, uh, disassociate yourself from the situation, not completely removing your brain from the situation, but you're looking at it from a nonjudgmental way, right? That's what the impartial spectator approach is. Spectating on two people having a conversation. And one person said this and the other person said that. And what could have gone differently, right? What could have been said from either party that would've gone, that would've resulted in a different right. Conversation. And so impartial spectator is a mindset tool that we get to use as leaders.14:32 And so mindset is everything, because if you believe in something, the result you're going to create is correlated to that belief. So if you believe that you're a lazy procrastinator who doesn't deserve to be in leadership, the result you're creating is a lazy procrastinator that is not in leadership or is not a strong leader, right? But if you believe that you are certain and resourceful and that you're able to solve any problem that comes your way, the result that you create is the evidence for that thought. That's what our results get to tell us. Our results are feedback, right? Our results get to show us in our face either intangible or tangible ways that our beliefs created these results. These results are just evidence for what we believe in. So mindset is everything. And I wanted to take time on the short episode to remind you of that.15:33 As leaders, we have the duty and obligation to do this mindset work. We do this every single day. I do this every single day, multiple times a day, depending on this segment of my day. First thing in the morning, I do a mental thought download cuz I don't wanna bring all of that negativity or all of that unresolved stuff from the day before into my new day. So I put it all on paper just to get it out. It's more like a purging and just to put it on paper, pen and paper. And I look at those thoughts and I just evaluate them with no judgment, like an impartial spectator. Like interesting, interesting. I get very curious about my thoughts. I wonder why this thought was the same thought I had the last three days. Hmm. It's repeating, it's recurring. Let's look into that thought.16:33 And then I do a model on that. And that models what I teach my clients to do. Not only am I one on one private clients, but also inside the master's of leadership. And we do some model work on why that thought that I keep having, What is the, you know, where's the root cause of that thought? But also what is that feeling that's being created from this thought? And then the actions I'm taking from that feeling and the result I'm creating that just puts your brain under the microscope as a scientist, as somebody who's conducting an experiment as a researcher, without judgment, as an impartial spectator. That's what you get to do when you do these thought downloads. And I get to show you how to do that inside the membership. So I want for you to start doing that. Start today. And as you move throughout your day, take a notepad, paper and pen and write down some thoughts that are coming up for you.17:26 And circle those thoughts, circle the thoughts that you, you're curious about. I wonder why this one keeps popping up because we have 65,000 plus thoughts a day, my friend, and about 70% are negative and 90% are recurring. And so I want for you to get intentional because of mindset is everything. And because you are a leader whose duty and obligation it is to have self-awareness, this is the start of the work we're going to set your foundation right here, either through our work together on this podcast is should you and I ever work one on one together or inside our membership, we're going to focus highly on mindset. Because if you have the belief that you are a masterful leader, you my friend, are creating an identity of a masterful leader. And ultimately the result is you being a masterful leader. And that's going to look like being recognized at at work.18:24 It's gonna look like you being the linchpin in your division, in your department, in your region. It's gonna look like pay increases. It's gonna look like you being the go-to person. It, it looks like you having a strong leadership brand that the industry will know about. Also creating fulfilled, joyous, highly engaged employees. That's what a masterful leader creates in others. But we have to create this in you first, right? And that's where your belief and the mindset work is everything to your leadership practice. All right, my friend, I know you found today's episode helpful. I'm wishing you a fantastic week. Remember, it's in your beliefs. Your beliefs are everything, and you turn your thoughts into things. So let's put all that under the microscope and get curious about what you are thinking and believing. All right, my friend, I will catch you on our next episode. Take very good care of yourself. Bye for now. Hey, leader, do you want weekly leadership tips, coaching and training straight to your email inbox? Yeah, I thought so. Head over to dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Again, that's dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Just submit your name and your email address and we'll get started right away. I look forward to serving you inside your email inbox. See you soon.
