Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power so they can lead like visionaries, influence with grace, and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems navigating their success in life, [00:00:30] business, and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.
Speaker 1: What do you have to prove today? Dear? Your leader, are you going to the organization today wanting to prove something perhaps to your employees that you belong there, that you deserve respect, [00:01:00] or maybe your c e o or your superior, that they made a great choice in hiring you? What do you have to prove today? Do you have to prove to yourself that you're competent and worthy of this position? Do you have to prove to your parents that you didn't make a mistake in choosing this role? Do you have to prove to your spouse [00:01:30] that even though they said you didn't belong there, that you do? What do you have to prove today? Now, this is a question that runs at our unconscious level of our mind. It's not like we're explicit about it. We're not like, oh, what am I proving today? Oh, I'm proving I'm worthy.
Speaker 1: No, this is running at the unconscious level of your mind because so many of us are suffering from this thought. I am not enough [00:02:00] this thought. I am not enough. Shows up in the workplace, shows up in your relationships, shows up in how you treat your body, shows up in how you treat your money. This thought, I am not enough, is something that so many people suffer from. And when they think I'm not enough, the deeper meaning is I'm not loved. I'm unlovable. No [00:02:30] one will love me because I'm not enough. If I'm not enough, no one's going to take the time to care about me, love me, take care of me. I'm not enough. And I heard this from Tony Robbins a few weeks ago. He said, I have been helping thousands and thousands of people around the the globe. And it comes down to these two things, two things that people suffer from.
Speaker 1: I am not enough [00:03:00] statement. And what that actually, the deeper meaning of that is I'm unlovable because I am not enough. So I asked this question, what do you want to prove today? Are you proving today that you are enough? That you're worthy of this position, that you're not a fraud, that you are competent, that those degrees on the wall actually mean something? I mean, I have to be honest with you. [00:03:30] I have lots of formal education because I had to prove to myself and to society, and to my family and to my culture and to my former leaders, that I was enough that I am enough. And I had to use all of those degrees to finally make me feel that I was enough. Listen, that was a very expensive lesson. And so I share this with you because I want you to know that you [00:04:00] are enough.
Speaker 1: You are inherently worthy, and you are inherently loved because you are a human on this planet. You deserve everything that your heart desires. And you don't have to prove anything to anybody. You don't have to prove it through degrees. You don't have to prove it by sleeping with this person. You don't have to prove it by using all this money for unnecessary cosmetic surgery. I'm, I was there too, my friend. Listen, no judgment, because I know these things. So many behaviors [00:04:30] all driven from this thought, I am not enough. My body's not enough. I need to go get plastic surgery to make it enough. I need to sleep with this man because I, if I don't, he's gonna think I'm not enough for him. I have to go get all this education to prove to them that I am enough. This running question, what do I want to prove today is [00:05:00] driving a lot of your behavior.
Speaker 1: So let's answer that question. What are you wanting to prove today? Answer that question honestly. What am I wanting to prove today? And sometimes you may answer, well, I'll wanna prove that I belong here and that they made a great choice, and that that [00:05:30] dude down the hall didn't deserve to be here. So I'm gonna just prove it to everybody and I'm gonna prove it to everybody by working extra hard. I'm gonna prove it to everybody by sacrificing more than than the other person. I'm going to prove it today by running my employee's ragged. That's how I'm going to prove it today. Right? Or some of you may be thinking, well, I've gotta prove that I am worthy of, of this man or this woman, and I'm gonna go buy them the house that they've [00:06:00] been asking for, or I'm going to, you know, do what they have wanted me to do with, with another person.
Speaker 1: And we're going to, we're gonna do this together. And it's to make them happy, because ultimately I'm not enough. I mean, there's so many interesting circumstances that I get to coach people on. And oftentimes it is this running question, what am I wanting to prove today? And to whom? [00:06:30] And the answer is always them. I want, I'm wanting to prove something for them so that they believe that I am enough, so that on the deeper level, I am lovable. I am admired, I am respected. So ask yourself that question. What am I wanting to prove today? And to whom is it to myself? Okay, if it's to me, what am I wanting [00:07:00] to prove to myself that I'm actually really smart and that I can get that damn PhD? Okay, okay, but why? Why? Is it because I'm not enough for myself? Because somebody told me I wasn't enough?
Speaker 1: What do I need to uncover so that I can make sense of all this? Or your answer may be I, I want to prove to my boss that I deserve his job. [00:07:30] And how do you show up to work when this is running at the unconscious level of your mind? You show up to, to work on the defense, right? You're defending your stance. And listen, when you defend your stance, that behavior is more than likely aggressive and maybe even bordering passive aggressive. So check in with what you're wanting to prove today, and to whom do you wanna prove it to? [00:08:00] This was so eye-opening for me when I heard Tony Robbins, say that again. Two things that people suffer from. And this comes from decades of serving people and decades of coaching so many people around the planet. And he said two things that troubles people the most.
Speaker 1: Number one, the I am not enough statement. And the deeper meaning to that, again, is I'm not lovable. No [00:08:30] one's going to love me cuz I'm just, I'm not enough. I'm not enough. I have to go prove my worth to everybody. I have to go prove that I belong here. I have to go prove that I'm the only one he needs in bed. Wow, my friend. That is exhausting. It's exhausting. But here's where we get to do the work together. So start with that question. What do I want to prove today? And to whom? And then take [00:09:00] note on all of the things that come up. Is it to my boss? Is it to my mother? Is it to my father? Is it to my spouse? Is it to my lover? Is it to my employees? Is it to my children? Is it to my ex-spouse?
Speaker 1: Right? What do I want to prove today? Do I just want to prove maybe that I can actually have a really great fulfilling life? How about I prove that to myself so that you go send your brain to go find [00:09:30] evidence for all of the proof that you need, that you deserve a fulfilling, joyous, loving life. That's the powerful reframe that we're gonna take together. So my friend, I hope you found this short, but very, very powerful episode, and go do something about it. Answer this question for yourself. Start noticing your behavior and notice the behavior of others around you. And ask that question for yourself. What are they wanting to prove today? Why does that [00:10:00] employee behave this way? And that one doesn't? What's driving that behavior? Is it that they feel they're not enough, that they feel like they're not worthy and that they have to prove that they belong in my department? Interesting. So when you take on this reframe, you start looking at others differently. But let's start with you, my friend. Let's start with you answering that question for yourself. What do you want to prove today? All right, my friend. I hope you found today's [00:10:30] short episode very helpful. I know it has for me. All right, take good care of yourself, and I will catch you on the next episode. Bye for now.
Speaker 1: Hey, leader, do you want weekly leadership tips, coaching and training straight to your email inbox? Yeah, I thought so. Head over to dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Again, that's dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Just submit your name [00:11:00] and your email address and we'll get started right away. I look forward to serving you inside your email inbox. See you soon.
