00:08 Hi, I'm Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power so they can lead like visionaries, influence with grace, and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems navigating their success in life, business and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.00:47 Welcome, leader. I am so excited to serve you today. You are a busy dynamic leader who has so much on her plate, and so I know your time is valuable, and I do not take that for granted. So know that every time I come to you with a podcast like this, an episode like this, know that there's a lot of thought that goes into our time together. I want to deliver to you valuable information that you can put into practice immediately, and that's what we're gonna do today. We are going to talk about unconscious bias. Unconscious bias just means it is unconscious or unaware to our conscious awareness. It is below our conscious awareness. It is how we operate. 95% of our day, we operate at the automatic unconscious default levels of our mind. And so 5% of that day is spent consciously. We are doing math, we are presenting a sales pitch, we are solving a problem for our clients or our stakeholders or our employees.02:02 We are alert, we are on our toes, so to speak, and that's when we are conscious. And so unconscious bias is when somebody demonstrates to us through their behavior, a bias that they have towards a woman leader or a woman employee, and it's unconscious to them. I certainly don't believe that people are not well intended. I don't believe people are, you know, intentionally mean and nasty. I don't believe that at all. And because we're operating 95% of our day at the unconscious level, of course they're bias is unconscious and their behaviors are unconscious to them. And so it's not until the recipient of that behavior, the recipient of that bias, starts making it mean something about her abilities, right? Because somebody will behave in a certain way to us, towards us, and then we make it mean something terrible about us. Of course, that's how the brain naturally works.03:13 We are taking in that behavior. We are ruminating over what we did wrong, how we displease them, how we are not cut out for this position, how we're just not enough, how we're a bunch of frauds. So we internalize their bias by making it mean something about ourselves, unconscious bias in the workplace. We need to be conscious of the unconscious bias that people have towards women leaders in particular. And so I bring this conversation up to us because I was reminded about a circumstance that happened to me several years ago. I was at a college and I was interested in applying for a tenured faculty position and a peer of mine who was someone I confided in, in all aspects of the workplace. I confided in him when it came to the office drama. I confided in him in the gossip that I heard, I confided in him in my career ideas and, and the trajectory that I wanted to go in, uh, in regards to my leadership.04:36 I confided in this person, you know, we, you we spent over, you know, 45 hours a week in the same container. And I, I developed, I thought a very strong, positive relationship. Thought this person was someone that was an ally and a supporter. And what was interesting is that his bias towards me came out during a time when we were both applying for this particular position. And this individual said to me, because I was very concerned, I thought, I can't do this. I'm not credible. I don't have enough qualifications. I haven't been at this for a long time. I'm the newest one to come into the department. I'm not somebody they would seriously consider. And so I confided in him with my thoughts, my intimate, challenging, limiting beliefs that I had about myself. I thought this person was someone who was an ally and supporter of mine, but this is what he said to me. He said, no problem. Please don't worry about this. You have no worries here. You're brown and a woman. You'll be the first say, hire.06:01 And I didn't know how to initially react to that statement. You're brown and a woman, of course you would be considered, of course you are the running contender. Of course you're going to be hired because that made you the number one person on their list. And I remembered going, wow, I'm only being hired because I'm brown and a woman. So never mind my PhD. Never mind the research, never mind all the hard work that I put into it in your eyes. I am going to be chosen for this position over you and others because I'm brown and a woman. So never mind my brilliance. Never mind all of the abilities and the capacity that I had for that position. Never mind any of that. And so I remembered going home thinking, well, that was really, really inappropriate. I don't really know how to process that because he is my friend, right?07:13 He's my friend. Why would a friend a really great coworker tell me that? Why? No. So I had this discord in my brain going, but he's a great friend. But wow, that was really offhanded. But he's, he's, he supported me through some interesting things in the office. But why would he say that to me? I don't understand. So there was this conflict within my own brain. It was this fatigue going on in my brain in that. But he's a great supporter. But a supporter wouldn't say that. Come to find out, this individual was actually applying for the same position. So I, I can only make inferences here cuz I did not talk to this person about what was going through his mind. . I mean, that's the best I can do is try to figure out in my mind what was going on in his mind.08:11 And so the conclusion I came up with is that there's bias. He had bias. And maybe that bias was triggered by someone he didn't believe was as credible as he to get this position. Maybe there were some other things going on, maybe beliefs he had about women in, you know, in academics, uh, you know, in his life. I, who knows what experiences he had and how he developed this particular bias towards brown women who are advancing in their careers, right? I, there there's, there're inferences that we can only make here. And so they're assumptions. And so I concluded that there was some very strong bias, maybe just towards me, maybe just not all brown women who are advancing in their careers. Maybe it was just me individually, maybe because he, he, I confided in him in so many different things in the workplace. And maybe because, you know, he felt like he, he, he knew sides of me, uh, that, you know, that made him believe, uh, something about me, something about I not being credible, I not being enough.09:28 And so the, the brown and the woman comment being brown and a woman comment was his way of lashing out. Maybe. See, that's the thing is that I cannot spend time in his brain. I can only spend time in my brain. And here's what happened because of his behavior, his unconscious bias, I took that in and I ruminated for days about this conversation. And I actually decided to pull back my application. And I said, I'm not actually prepared for this. Thank you so much for the consideration. I'll look into it in the future. Should we have an opening? And I remembered my chair going, what? And I just stayed quiet and said, that's my final decision, and thank you so much. And I have to say the behavior that I took from the behavior of his behavior impacting my brain, I, you know, made a decision that changed the trajectory of my career.10:41 It really honestly did. I got out of academics. I decided to not go, um, towards that, that direction. I actually, a few, uh, months later, I formed my company and then a a year after that I left. And, um, I now do public, uh, academia work, which means I get to do public research for all of us without any restrictions or, um, or, um, you know, guidelines from a research institution. So I now have the freedom. So it was, it was a win-win. But at that moment, his behavior towards me was something so interesting that I did. And so I had to come to terms with what I was doing in my own brain, how I was processing this. Cause I made it mean something terrible about me and my qualifications. And there was shame that came about because I didn't want to present myself as a Mexican American woman.11:47 I didn't want to even tell people I spoke Spanish. I didn't want to act like a Latina. I wanted to whitewash my behavior and how I presented myself in the institution. I remembered I needing to change. And there were moments where I would code switch even with, uh, friends and peers. I would code switch my language, right? Because my brain thinks things in Spanish first , and then I have to translate it in my brain into English. And so I remembered having to like, take some extra steps and extra time to process that so that I wouldn't, you know, uh, a Spanish word wouldn't come out. Um, you know, so much went into changing my identity because of somebody's comments, because of somebody's unconscious bias towards me. And that's the thing, it was unconscious to him. I honestly don't think people are bad humans. I I really honestly think this was something that was buried in his neurology.12:58 And because of the circumstance and because, you know, maybe there was a threat to him or you felt some kind of, you know, survival threat or something that was going to threaten his existence or threatened his salary, you know, it, something pushed out. And that's what came out was his words. And they were explicit. But then I, as the recipient didn't know how to cope with that, didn't know how to handle that response. It was unexpected, it was surprising and it was hurtful, and I internalized it. And the behavior from that internalization was pulling out from that, uh, hiring process and then changing the trajectory of my career. And so looking back, however, what a win it was for me. , what a win, his unconscious bias ultimately was a win for me. And so I share with you this very private example because there's so many women out here who are suffering in silence.14:02 They may have been said something explicitly, it could have been a microaggression in the workplace, could have been a little passive aggressiveness in the workplace behavior from someone else. That's the, that's the evidence of unconscious bias is, is, is witnessing and having evidence of behavior, inappropriate behavior. And, and it could be an off-putting joke, it could be an off-handed comment about women, about you, about mothers, um, or it could be so harsh in that you are passed over because you are in your childbearing years. I mean, there are institutions, uh, clients of mine who, you know, have gone through formal terminal education who have said to me, I was asked if I was going to, you know, have children within the next five years. And, and, and I answered, what, what does that have to do with my promotion? What does that have to do with advancing in my, in my career?15:03 And they were very honest. We just, you know, we have some big projects ahead and you know, if you're having babies and taking lots of time off, how are we, you know, how can we count on you? And so there's circumstances out there that so many women can share. And my clients privately deal this deal with this through coaching. We have to coach through these circumstances. Remember, this is stuff that's buried also in your own conscious. And so we internalize that and then we take that into our world. We take that into our marriages, we take this into our workplaces or our businesses, and then we make it mean something about us being less than being not enough. And the imposter syndrome comes up, the fraudulent thoughts come up. I'm gonna be found out. There's just no way I'm gonna last here. They're going to figure it out that they shouldn't have hired me.15:59 You know? And so here we are internalizing all of this instead of coaching through these circumstances. And I didn't have someone to talk to about this. This was, you know, this was a realization many years later, many years later, and realizing that I, I shifted the trajectory of my career because of somebody's unconscious bias towards me. I can't be the only one out here experiencing this. And this is when I started to coach women regarding their circumstances, their situations. And we focus on the workplace, on the organizational unconscious bias. And so we have to keep in mind, we leaders, organizations are run by humans, by leaders with human brains. Meaning they have bias, all kinds of bias. There's so many kinds of bias, gender bias, obviously, , which is one we talk a lot about inside the institute, uh, confirmation bias and many other biases that we can look up in research and, and understand fully how they're embedded in our neurology.17:16 But more importantly, how are you internalizing this as a woman leader? And then how are you behaving from this internalization? And so this is what we get to do inside the Masters of Leadership Institute program for women leaders. We, we have created such a sacred important space. It's a container where women have psychological safety. I've created psychological safety. Every turn she takes inside that institute, she is, is made to feel, seen and heard, and she's able to be vulnerable and transparent and authentic. She's not here coat switching. She's not here whitewashing, she's not changing her identity because she's internalized some bias. We're working through all that. She feels free to work through these circumstances. She feels free to talk about what she has endured, what she's experienced, and how it has impacted her life. And then we get to look at ways of reframing those circumstances so that it becomes a win for her.18:30 And that's the coaching mindset work that we get to do as masterful leaders inside the institute. So it's important, my friend, to pay close attention. So stay conscious. You may have lived through some of these experiences and you can share these with me in the comments below or on social media where you can find me at Dr. Denise Simpson. Share with me what you've experienced and know that there's treatment for this. And we treat this through the modality of coaching. We're able to process this, reframe this for us so that we come out on top of those circumstances. But more importantly, we don't go and behave this way towards another woman that's so important to remember. So share your experiences with me. If you are a woman leader, I want for you to think about your women employees in your organization and start noticing behaviors. Start noticing attitudes towards them, towards you and, and there's plenty of tools inside the institute that we will show you so that you can identify these signs so that we can help you through not only your circumstances, but then how to help another woman on her journey. So I implore you to reach out, let me know what your needs are in your organization, and we can talk more about how the institute can support you and your women employees. So thank you so much for your time today. I hope you have a fantastic rest of your day and I look forward to hearing from you and looking forward to serving you on our next episode. Take good care. Bye.20:27 Hey, leader, do you want weekly leadership tips, coaching and training straight to your email inbox? Yeah, I thought so. Head over to dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Again, that's dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Just submit your name and your email address and we'll get started right away. I look forward to serving you inside your email inbox. See you soon.
