00:08 Hi, I am Denise Simpson, a master life and leadership coach who helps women step into their authentic and feminine power so they can lead like visionaries, influence with grace, and create a legacy of contribution and service. You'll hear about real leadership clients with real problems navigating their success in life, business and career. If you're ready to become a masterful leader, then this podcast was made for you. So let's get started.00:47 Hey, welcome back leader. I want to spend some time with you talking about what your leadership really means. A lot of my clients right now are questioning whether they are following the right career path, whether they are following their dreams and desires. They are questioning themselves right now because so much is happening, so much is coming at them externally through the organization, through stakeholders, through constituents, through their customers, through the board of directors and so forth. They are being bombarded with a lot of really heavy, heavy changes and they're questioning whether they're in the right place doing what they want to do. And so I want to talk a little bit about what your leadership really means, why you got into leadership to begin with, and what it means for you to influence your self first and foremost, and your teams. So you probably got into leadership because you said, I can do it better.01:58 You probably got into leadership because you said this is not the right way to do this. There's a better way. You probably were the one who raised her hand when everyone else was looking away. You were probably the individual star performer. You were giving your all. You gave your all. You went above and beyond, and you probably did a lot of volunteer work. That's right, volunteer work, which is unpaid work. You probably took on a lot more things. You joined committees, again, raising your hand saying, I want to be a part of that. I want to contribute to that stuff that was not on your job description initially, and you made yourself valuable somewhere else within the organization. And so here you are now in a predicament where there's a lot of change happening and your feelings about your leadership are changing, your beliefs about your leadership are changing.02:56 So before you become fully discouraged, I want to just take a moment right here, right now and applaud you. I want to celebrate you for raising your hand to begin with. Do you know how difficult it is to get into the pipeline of leadership as a woman? And far more important if you're a woman of color. This is why we need to have these conversations because so many of you are suffering in the dark. So many of you are keeping all of these emotions like resentment, like bitterness. Some of you're feeling confused right now. Some of you're feeling overwhelmed right now. Some of you are stressed out and you don't want to talk about it because you don't know who to talk to about it. And so I just want to shed some light. First and foremost on you. Dear leader, I'm here to support you and I want to applaud you, first and foremost for raising your hand and saying, I want in and I want to enter this pipeline of leadership.03:59 You're here now after making it through that broken rung on the leadership ladder. There's a broken rung on the leadership ladder for women and women of color, and you, my friend, have stepped over it, and you are here now. And so I just want to take a deep breath with you because this is monumental. You may think it's nothing. You may think that it happened so quickly, and some of you may have thought, this is coincidence, but my dear, dear leader, if it weren't for your ambition, if it weren't for your desire for better, to better yourself, to better your teams, to better your organizations, you would not be in this position. So acknowledge that consciously that you took the leap and you are here now. And what I don't want to happen is for you to be so discouraged with what is happening right now in the world that you leave the pipeline, you get out of the pipeline if you decide to leave the workforce. I understand that. And that's what we saw happen during covid, the great breakup, the great resignation, two very interesting things that took place in the workforce, especially for women.05:20 The great resignation looked like women leaving the workforce altogether, not wanting to deal with this crap. And we left. We left in droves, we left in the millions, and now we're back into the workforce. And now we are really looking at how organizations are treating us and how they're showing us that we're valued in the organization. And when they are not showing us that we are valued. And they can do that by reward, by recognition, by celebrating us, more importantly, by paying us what our value is worth, not our self value, our leadership value. This is how we stay in our organizations. We are committed, engaged, loyal employees when our organizations see our true value, our true leadership value. But when that doesn't happen, women are breaking up with their organizations. The great breakup is probably still happening where women are breaking up with their current employer and they're looking somewhere else.06:35 I mean, think about when you're courting somebody or you're being courted, the person who treats you the worst is the last person you want to talk to. It's the last person you want to spend your time and energy and focus with. So what do we do? We move on and we look for another amazing, encouraging, respectful, loyal, committed opportunity. And we find employers that are strongly aligned to our values, not theirs, but our values. So the great breakup is still happening, and I am here to support you no matter what you decide to do either the great resignation, meaning you leave the workforce altogether, or you go and break up with your current employer, I am all for it. But here's what I want for you to do. First, I want for you to ask yourself, is this really what I want? Do I want to A, stay in this organization or B, leave this organization.07:40 And if you choose B, is it to leave for another employer or to leave the workforce altogether? I want for you to take a moment and ask yourself these questions because the nervous system, and I love to talk about the nervous system, the nervous system is all over the place right now. We are feeling all kinds of emotions. We are thinking all kinds of things. We are believing certain things about ourselves because of circumstances that were beyond our control and circumstances look like other people's behaviors, other people's happenings, other people's decisions that impact us, us. And I want for you to ask yourself, is this what I really want to do? And if you choose a, I want to stay right here and I believe it could be better, and I still believe I can make a difference, then I want for you to look inward and ask yourself, what does my leadership really mean to this organization?08:46 What does my leadership really mean? The word leader, the meaning of leader, is a person who influences a change in employee beliefs, in their feelings and in their actions to produce an effect on a result. That's what leadership means. That's what you do as a leader every single day. You influence others. You're influencing their beliefs about themselves, how they feel about themselves in the organization. And yes, the actions and behaviors they take on behalf of the team. That's exactly what you do every day, leader. And if you didn't know that's what you do, and I know you're bogged down with a lot of duties, a whole shit ton of things that you must do, I get that. But I want for you to just get down to the root of what leadership is and what leadership really means, and reminding yourself of who the hell you are and why you became a leader.09:55 I want for you to remember that you are here to impact yourself, your family, your community, your employees, your organization, and the world that you and I share. This is a privilege, my dear leader. This is a privilege. It's not a right. You can call yourself a leader. You're going to have a label of a leader. You can get paid as a leader, but it's not until you see the results of your team that determines the effect of your leadership. Show me the results that you create in your leadership practice. And I will tell you what kind of leader you are. And you're not a leader who sits on her laurels and says, whatever comes, comes, whatever may be, will be. You are proactive in your leadership. You are someone who gives a fuck. And I want for you to remember who you are when things are out of control.10:51 Circumstances are beyond your control. Other people's behaviors are beyond your control because ultimately all we can do is influence others. And by the way, the only thing you can control, my dear leader is yourself. And even then your mind is against you. Even then your brain and anatomy are against you. Even then your body is against you. So how about we stop looking outward? And let's take a moment and look inward to see what we can control, what we can reframe for ourselves, what we can believe about ourselves moving forward, what we want for our lives, what we want to keep in our lives, what we want to get rid of in our lives. Let's take that moment here. Before you make any decision to leave the organization, please know that you are needed, and I selfishly want to support you and keep you in the pipeline.11:51 But not everyone can stay in the pipeline. Not everyone should stay in the pipeline. You ultimately get to decide that. But I as your coach will do everything I can to help you gain clarity around what your leadership means to you. And so remember, my dear leader, this is all within your control. What do you want to do moving forward? How do you want to interpret what your leadership means? What do you want to make it mean for yourself and for others? What your leadership really means is that you get to impact the world. You get to create a legacy of service and contribution like no other woman can on this earth. You are one in 8 billion people on this planet and no one can lead like you because no one has experienced your life. No one thinks you feels like you has been conditioned, like you has been raised by the parents that you had, the community, the subculture that you are from or a part of.12:59 No one gets to lead like you because no one is you. And so I wanted to just take a few minutes really to encourage you to stop, take a deep breath and answer those questions for yourself. Do I want to stay here or do I want to leave? And if I choose to leave, is it for another organization or is it to leave the workforce altogether? You have every right to make the decision that's best for you and your family. All I want to do is remind you of who the fuck you are a leader because you raised your hand and because you don't lead like anybody else, and because you certainly don't see the world like anyone else, and because you have the courage, you have the competence, and you have the confidence to say, I am that one. I am that leader to make a difference.13:58 So if you are struggling right now, I want you to know you are not alone. You are not alone. There are millions upon millions of us who are feeling this way right now. We want to give up on everything because we're unsupported in the workplace. Our leaders aren't listening to our requests, our partners, our spouses, our lovers don't understand the stress. They don't understand why we can't sleep at night. They don't understand why we are so stressed the fuck out. They don't understand nobody. It feels like nobody understands what a leader goes through because the pressure is on us. We have duties and obligations. We have this privilege. We're like the athletes in an Olympic team. We're the ones leading the way. And so I want for you to know that you are needed in whatever capacity you choose to be needed in. We need you, and we want for you to feel really, really great and positive about the decision or the direction that you want to go in.15:06 That's all I want, is for you to be clear and to be happy and to feel great about any decision you make. So if you're in a crossroad right now and you need some clarity and you need some help, I am here for you. I want you to reach out to me over on LinkedIn. That's where I spend most of my time. You can find me at Dr. Denise Simpson, dmm me right away and let me know. You heard this episode and you want to have a conversation about what is next for you in your career or what decision you are needing and wanting to make. Let me know that you are raising your hand and asking for help. All right, dear your leader, I hope you found this helpful. There's so many of us suffering right now, and I have clients who are feeling just like you and millions more that I don't know that personally, but I know are certainly suffering too. But you don't have to suffer, and we get to choose how to move forward and we can do that together. Alright, dear leader, take good care, and I do look forward to hearing from you and serving you. I'm wishing you all of my best. Take care.16:28 Hey, leader, do you want weekly leadership tips, coaching and training straight to your email inbox? Yeah, I thought so. Head over to dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Again, that's dr denise simpson.com/leadership. Just submit your name and your email address and we'll get started right away. I look forward to serving you inside your email inbox. See you soon.